'Casket Lottery'

[Ian]

Alone with my emotions, forced to take the walk of shame ..
.. w. my heart broken.
Weary, carrying this ball and chain
Yeah, there's talk of change. But ive been living in pause ..
.. stagnant as the world turns; cause my visions are torn.
Im un-employed,
& never get to see my wife and kids ..
.. so what's there to look forward to; in this life i live -
when everyday's the same?
Man, its probably best i know ..
.. If this is fate .. Telling me that i should let it go ..

.. "There's only one way i can see to settle this, a gamble with death to decide my fate. A game of Russian Roulette .."

So, i load up the Revolver with a single golden bullet ..
.. spin the barrel,
Then with both eyes closed, i pull it ..
.. back gently. The palm of my hand moist with sweat
As i find out if what im told, by the voice in my head ..
.. really holds true.
My heart rate beating quicker now ..
.. I pray to the sky, hoping that i'll hear a clicking sound ..

- Click -

Took one deep breath, sat back in my seat ..
.. Lit up a cigarette, and then collapsed in relief.
I spun the barrel again ..
.. & placed the gun on my desk
Shut my eyes for a second, worried to death ..
.. over the outcome,
but somehow the danger tempts me ..
.. I pull the trigger again.

- Click -

The chambers empty.

At that point i stood up - scared and faced with doom,
.. started biting my finger nails as i paced the room ..
.. back and forth.
Trembling as small beads of sweat dropped ..
.. the revolver sat, staring at me from my desk top.
I approached it cautiously .. Feeling slightly nervous ..
Squeezed the stoic trigger ..
.. and when heard the third click,
.. I slumped into my chair surprised, but figured if fate was planned ..
.. the outcome was known already, so i may as well take the chance
Again the barrel rotated ..
.. I blocked out my loitering demons,
Too stubborn to listen out for the voice of reason ..
.. Grabbed the gun again, Id never before felt like this ..
.. Pulled the trigger, seconds after closing my eyelids.

- Click -

Tears were running down my cheekbones,
as I glanced at the metal.
Id realised that this was it, time to dance with the devil ..
.. Lifted the gun,
Took one last look at a family picture & ..
.. Pulled the trigger the fifth time,
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
..
.

only to be met with a click again.



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...96#post1354296

[Maven.]

I wonder why he didn't go for #6?

whats up my flatulent friend?
the only thing that I found weird about this piece was the quote. Knowing you, I was expecting it to rhyme like the rest of the piece, but it neglected to.
I was also expecting some twist at the end, but there really wasn't one. No big realization, no epiphany, no proufound metaphor.
The piece was brilliantly written, but the ending seemed to lack a little.
Good work =)

[Ian]

The quotes an audio sample, piece is wrote for audio. The click noise is an actual noise too, lol. Ending i thought was cool, cause everyone expects him to die and he actually doesnt, which has upset a lot of my readers that i didnt kill him, but ehh .. If you get to read NumSkull - "Russian Roulette" , then do so. I was proving a point that i could write his own piece better than him.

[Richard Parker]

aka steal his idea.. ?
of course you can use his idea and improve upon it..
thats what was done to the Model T... The Franklin Stove...
Etc...

[Ian]

Its not 'stealing his idea' at all, slut.

[Blured]

Good work.Ending did leave me a little baffled? Still even after your explaination I kind of wanted to see death at the end.lol,I don't know why but I guess since I was expecting it I was looking forward to it.Good work though.Props.

[doesnotexist]

Yue this was a good open mic piece. written very well, u picked jus the right words to describe the emotion and scenery. But like the rest I expected death at the end and kinda wanted it lol I think it woulda been better and more dramatci wit the death lol
never the less, very very good open mic. keep it up.

peace...

hit my open mic up..........http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=125819

[John Kerry]

the hell`s up with the Crimson Shadow? Get off of this bullshit & write the twenty-five other chapters, milk-face.

[Ian]

rofl, the Dead Letters thing wont be done for a while - its a long term project, i dont know when i'll get round to writing the rest, its something i do to fill spare time.