Hence Forward Presents: Poem

**Chris Black** · April 11th, 2004, 11:10 PM

Poem
-[unwritten]-

I am a poem; the solitary thought of a master penman.
Cradled by the gutter, and forgotten in an instant.
Adopted by the wind when I was handed my sentence.
I cringe when I remember brittle life as an infant;
When my future was unknown...just a misplaced loose leaf,
Doomed to loose sleep over new grief that fused me-
To you, see?...you induce me to spew these jewels free
From my soul, and use these hard times to grow deep
No sleep, I know these rambling’s are soo bleak
But it shows that I am; at least that’s what the wind told me.

I am a poem...a discarded piece of paper...
an expression of opinion, a profound dictator
I can tell you life missions, only if you listen to me...
Though I am absolute, I'm see as obsolete
sustained from the times of ancient civilization
To my new, adapted role, in the new generation
An impeccable energy, and flow that i provide...
able to capture the true essence of an ocean's urgent cries
sweet roses, romantic, abolition of grim...
pronounced scent of glory travels through the winds
outlook seems fatal in this world but to live is my choice
it seems pointless now tho...since i'm a disregarded voice...

I am a poem; A story bound to leave in vapors
I constantly bleed the capers of the needless labors
That noone’s pleased to savor, and my plead is wavered
Cause I’m nothing more that a piece of paper...
I am a blank loose-leaf, without one drop of ink
But if you stop to thing, I stand for what’s not written;
Every story that never saw daylight’s visions...
So watch the men without voice’s words unfold,
Blank!...I represent the life of stories untold
.
.
.
I am a blank poem; representative of words, unwritten

1st verse by: Wicked
2nd verse by: T West
3rd verse by: Wicked

**Mistral** · April 11th, 2004, 11:18 PM

You need to leave a link to a reply that you left on another open mic or this gets closed, Thanks.

**Chris Black** · April 11th, 2004, 11:29 PM

**Ace of Aces** · April 12th, 2004, 12:49 AM

favorite verse: 1 verse. really dope flow. especially after the first half of it. this whole piece was dope but yea this parts caught me the most.

overall they were all dope. the second and third verses had a real nice flow too. they all came together real nicely. loved the open lines for each verse also. very unique and eye-catching. real nice way to get readers. the topic was dope itself. its another complex simplicity. props.

fav. part:
When my future was unknown...just a misplaced loose leaf,
Doomed to loose sleep over new grief that fused me-
To you, see?...you induce me to spew these jewels free
From my soul, and use these hard times to grow deep
No sleep, I know these rambling’s are soo bleak
But it shows that I am; at least that’s what the wind told me.

peace

**Forlorn** · April 12th, 2004, 12:58 AM

I am a poem; the solitary thought of a master penman.
Cradled by the gutter, and forgotten in an instant

Nice opener, really started the peice off well,
The first verse started off dope, there were a few lines in there that were a bit ordinary, but some were really dope

All three verse opened really well, and were also dope, All of them had great flow and i enjoyed reading them, nice peice, thanking you for replying to my open mic

**The Beat Mod** · April 12th, 2004, 11:04 AM

uppin......

**Andrew..** · April 12th, 2004, 04:06 PM

Ok
Good flow
My favorite verses had to be the first and second verse.
This is a first time i read a topic called Poem.
In the third verse the structure went off a little bit.

I am a poem...a discarded piece of paper...
an expression of opinion, a profound dictator
I can tell you life missions, only if you listen to me...
Though I am absolute, I'm see as obsolete
sustained from the times of ancient civilization
To my new, adapted role, in the new generation

Those were my favorite lines.
peace

**CAMROK** · April 12th, 2004, 11:51 PM

This was a really nice piece here..

First two lines, great opener to it... my favorite part of the piece is pretty much the same as ace' said above a few threads.. great transitions into and out of each 3 sections of the verse.. I really enjoyed the overall feelings of it, flowed great.. I also liked the entire idea of the piece itself "A poem.. unwritten" did this topic well.

dope.

**FormulaMC** · April 13th, 2004, 02:40 AM

Dope piece. Originality shined, good choice of topic. All verses had great flow and hints of imagery. Transitions were great and didn't hamper anything. Multi's were great also, definately helped the flow the way this was structured.. flow was never off. I was feeling the whole thing, each verse was great in my opinion. Like Camrock said, the entire idea of the piece was great, and my interest was captured from the beginning. Above average.. great job to both of you. Pz.

An impeccable energy, and flow that i provide...
able to capture the true essence of an ocean's urgent cries
sweet roses, romantic, abolition of grim...
pronounced scent of glory travels through the winds
^^ Dope lines.. and my favorites.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=124517
^^ feedback appreciated..

**Chris Black** · April 13th, 2004, 10:30 PM

^Dropped Feedback.
Upping for more replies.

-W1

**ELEETE** · April 14th, 2004, 05:07 PM

Very nice opening...one of the best lines ive seen no doubt...

I am a poem; the solitary thought of a master penman.
Cradled by the gutter, and forgotten in an instant.

This piece was very well written...True talent an skill...You could tell this piece had a lot of thought thrown in to it...I thought the flow was pretty close to perfect in my eyes...everything just fit so nicely...both stayed on topic...not once fell off...and you used some creative expressions...

Dope work from both sides...Very nice piece...
Oh yea....

I am a poem...a discarded piece of paper...
an expression of opinion, a profound dictator

^^Dope there T-West^^

**The Beat Mod** · April 14th, 2004, 08:12 PM

^lol, thx for the feed ppl. Nominate this shit for OM of the month.

**Chris Black** · April 15th, 2004, 02:43 PM

*elevation*

**Chris Black** · April 15th, 2004, 11:21 PM

Wake up, whores.

**Freeman** · April 16th, 2004, 01:40 PM

Nice piece.
Should be in the poetry section, really.
Lol.
Nice vocabulary.
The flow was nice.
As was the imagery.
The opening line was nice.
Quite the quotable.
A nice collaboration here, you two.
Keep up the good work.
Peace.

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