Hope & Desperation featuring Split.

[Mag...]

Hope - Split.

My face wrenchs as my mouth sends forth silent energy
an inaudible sentence with the character of violent tendencies
The shockwave unfelt except to those with thought to hear
its locked fate is verbally bereft and destined to disappear
It's aggravating to spit so intense without any recognition
not captivating, despite the emense amount of conviction

that I pour into my works, and still I seem to go unnoticed
and more and more it hurts, but I stay diligent and focused
Because someday I will emerge above the crowds so glorious
My love for the art will surge me forward alone and victorious
But until that day, I'll stay working hard, wishing to be heard
and daily I will pray, that I'll draw the right card and surprise the earth

With a vocal rendition worthy of praise from the Lord himself
and my focal exhibition will raise my social status and my wealth
I know no one will hear this, as I speak silently through the screen
I flow so none will fear this, as I emerge into my very dream...

Desperation - Mag...

HaHa...Desperation is here! I'm the new sensation for you to fear...
Increase aggrivation, disease imitation, seeping into your ear
Coursing through your veins, through your pains, it so insane...
And it's all in vane, Oh what a shame! to dream of fame
Crushing hope is so damn dope! I'm set to infect your verse,
affect this curse with the ill chemical destruction of your mind
at will reversal influxion of design of a most lyrical kind...

OwwW! betcha didn't think it'd be that fine, to trip up your plans
flip your scams on a piece of the pie...Damn... put up ya hands!
If ya feeling this... if ya feeling bliss... through the writer's block
I'll make the writer's stop... drop.. grab bullets and load da glock
pull the cock, press the steel tip to the temple... be an example
of lost dreams and ample seams... torn apart by insidious me!

I did it for free... didn't ask for a please and to hell with ya thankyous
Wait while I shank you, no I didn't prank you, you actually sank through
the foundation you built... it's so sad when like a flower you wilt
but don't cry over the milk spilt... I won't cuz I'm free of guilt...
__________________
fgee - Sit Down and Write

[Split]

^^niceness

[Freeman]

Only got time to give feedback to one of your verses.
My sister is kicking me off the computer now.
Mag, your the lucky one. For the moment.
You had lots of nice multi's.
Flowed pretty nicely throughout.
Some nice multi-syllable rhyming too.
Thats all ive got time for at the moment.
Both verses were nice, and it made a nice overall piece.
Pz.

[Split]

uppdiggity

[Epical]

Split.Your verse was full of unnessary rhymes and vocab.
As I was reading your piece,I felt as you were focusing to much on the presentation and not your voice.I can see that you have the potential.Next time try to be little less agressive with your wrting and tone down your style a bit.

Mag.You have a very strong voice.I can see the picture you are drawing.
Your internals were the only thing I can see that was lacking in this piece.
I like the concept of this piece.It is a very played out topic.
Somehow you two managed to make this readable.Not enjoyable.Readable.
Peace.

[Andrew..]

Both had a good peice overall
Mag..'s multis caught my eye the most in this peice
My favorite parts from both were

My face wrenchs as my mouth sends forth silent energy
an inaudible sentence with the character of violent tendencies
The shockwave unfelt except to those with thought to hear
its locked fate is verbally bereft and destined to disappear
It's aggravating to spit so intense without any recognition
not captivating, despite the emense amount of conviction

that I pour into my works, and still I seem to go unnoticed
and more and more it hurts, but I stay diligent and focused
Because someday I will emerge above the crowds so glorious
My love for the art will surge me forward alone and victorious

HaHa...Desperation is here! I'm the new sensation for you to fear...
Increase aggrivation, disease imitation, seeping into your ear
Coursing through your veins, through your pains, it so insane...
And it's all in vane, Oh what a shame! to dream of fame
Crushing hope is so damn dope! I'm set to infect your verse,
affect this curse with the ill chemical destruction of your mind
at will reversal influxion of design of a most lyrical kind...

I hope to see another collab from both of you
peace

[Mag...]

dope I wrote my verse to an instrumental of Outkasts - Caroline...

it's got an audio type feel for me... and that's why it almost feels too simple... but I think it works...

[Mag...]

uppage

[Split]

upsizzle