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Thread: Let My People Go

  1. #1
    Still 'Da Illest MadMan's Avatar
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    Let My People Go


    If the time is right to put up the fight
    Will you stand up for what is right?
    When others die, and it's your turn
    For your life will you draw concern?
    Or be unselfish, and do what is best
    Even if it means death by no contest

    I never knew how I'd react when my time came
    I was made a soldier, it always felt the same
    I was meant do die for a ideal or for a cause
    Ironic how I'm a hero when murder is against laws
    A great hero for my time, and I was always honored
    But precious time of mine was about to be squandered

    With breaking glass and a bucket of lies
    Came an attack on people, generalized
    For one crime, the convicted were many
    With no trial, we lost every penny
    Like being thrown in water to see if we float
    After one night, we became a nation's scapegoat

    In time we were found guilty of our crimes
    Sentenced to death, appeals given no lines
    I felt my heart began to falter
    as we were led to our self slaughter
    Then came famous words I use to know
    Moses sayin "Let my people go."

    I uttered these words out to my captor
    and was treated to a face of laughter
    He said God had abandoned my people
    I tried to fight back, but my body was feeble
    But I had the power to mutter and so,
    I said again, "Let my people go."

    The soldier upset, just spit on my face.
    In front of my friends, I looked a disgrace.
    But my heart wouldn't stumble, it wouldn't go
    I stood up, and shouted "LET MY PEOPLE GO!"
    And behind myself I heard a roar
    People arising, spirits set to soar

    No we didn't live, but we put up a fight
    We stood up and said "This isn't right"
    So when injustices get you down
    Your inner spirit will be found
    Don't take offense to slander or to libel
    When life gets you down turn to the bible
    And when you experience what I know
    Yell at injustices to "Let my people go"



















    Fuck a passion of the christ.
    - MadMan -

    Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better


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  2. #2
    Still 'Da Illest MadMan's Avatar
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    - MadMan -

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  3. #3
    Still 'Da Illest MadMan's Avatar
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    Fuckin, come on, reply on this.
    - MadMan -

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  4. #4
    Banned Ace of Aces's Avatar
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    nice job. i didn't like that last line. i love jesus man. lol. seriously. but besides that, the verse was good, had trouble with the flow for a little while tho, it was a bit choppy in places and kinda switched from time to time. the meaning and heart in this was felt. this topic can be considered unique also so i'd say good job. its tight. props.

    hit this up in return plz:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=122212

    thanx.

    peace

  5. #5
    ||RythmicTendicies|| 'PercepTion''s Avatar
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    --[Flow]---
    I liekd the flow...all be it, some more internals woulda been a nice addition but for the most part if was fluent...I saw no major flaws. nothin that can't be tweaked...Bar length was nice...and i saw no attaempt to squezze rhymes in...fitted nicely.

    --[Vocab]--
    the vocab was scattered....In some stanza's it was dope and in others it lacked consistenty [sp.]...In the stanzas that it was present it was very deep & complex...i think this could've been so much more if it'd been more consistent..was good tho.

    --[Concept]--
    Liked it...I'm into alot of religious stuff and i love to see pieces like this poppin' up in OM from time to time.....You never fell off and i felt this had a hint of uniquness [sp.] about it, which requires skill to pull off and you did...Loved the imagry as well...thought it really helped me to picture what you were sayin':

    "With breaking glass and a bucket of lies
    Came an attack on people, generalized"


    --[Overall]--
    Was nice..it lacked vocab in some places but the emotion made up for it...flow was good as well and was original which is always a good thing...lol..."4/5"...was a very good, imformative & comlex drop... Good shit is always gettin' slept on in OM...

    do me a favour if u got time..: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=121845
    Open Mic's


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    --------------------------------

  6. #6
    -.'real.- Sureal's Avatar
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    Matt This Was Dope, As The Let My People Go Got More Intense
    I Even Caught My Self Reading It Louder And Louder.. The Peice
    Showed A Great View That I Havent Seen Before In An Open Mic
    From Such A Biblical Figure. This Was A Great Read Nucca..
    Nominates For Open Mic Top 10 Shit.
    .WP.
    .. It' Still Perfect..

  7. #7
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    Hmm... great storytelling with a nic builup here...

    I like this man... rarely will I end up reading something like this aloud... but I did on this....

    You captured the reader's attention.... Nice my good man

  8. #8
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    don't curse god like that kid and tight verse i was feeling it







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  9. #9
    Still 'Da Illest MadMan's Avatar
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    Thank you all very much... *tear runs down eye*
    - MadMan -

    Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better


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  10. #10
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    Go peep " A proper Farewell" byt the way = )

    [/newbie]

  11. #11
    Still 'Da Illest MadMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yungkiss
    don't curse god like that kid and tight verse i was feeling it
    Obviously I'm Jewish, I don't think Jesus is God, therefore I'm not cursing God.
    - MadMan -

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  12. #12
    The R in RB.Com
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    not going to state the obvious, very well written
    writers voice was very nicely done here...good view and points backing it up

    not much to say to improve this

    good job sir

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  13. #13
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    not bad
    you wrote well on the subjectand expressed yourself fully
    lacked some complexity but it would have hindered a piece like this
    im not at all religious...so from that aspect this piece didnt really appeal to me
    and therefore lost any impact it might have had for a religious person reading it
    religion seems to be the in thing to talk about now on RB..
    anyway decent job on this
    props

    fin
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  14. #14
    Nicely done, complexity and vocab wasn't at it's fullest but for the subject it was on, it was alright and im not a major reiligous man myself but dont disrespect the man
    'up-stairs,' and if thats the picture of the editor... DAMN! lol sorry

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    ..........Thai
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    Warrior
    ..........

  15. #15
    Still 'Da Illest MadMan's Avatar
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    This rocks dude!
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