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Thread: Souveniers

  1. #1
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    Souveniers

    where do we find beauty?

    theres stage fright of brake lights
    they're regarded with hate like,
    "the emissions harm the atmosphere!"
    but do you look at them on late nights?
    do you witness their lives grow
    when in one synchronized glow
    the entire highway lights up...
    because someone has to drive slow
    your mind knows
    this is the epitome of human harmony
    it lies, true within every charm you see
    so don't worry about the rainforest
    bask in the beauty of a pharmacy
    aisle after aisle, curing the common cold
    the out-of-the-ordinary hot, converting illness into gold,
    and you worry about our Mother Earth?
    take some Advil, she won't feel so old
    concrete jungles are my habitat and i'm grateful
    I'm bottled...not from the tap, you're disdainful
    of my ways, you're unenlightened
    the city is on morphine; your ignorance is painful
    it's tasteful really, have a nice snowglobe
    showing the CN tower where hope blows
    several thousand feet above you
    it's beautiful, no? shows what you know.

    the point is, perception of beauty is a souvenier
    anything from Mount Everest to doctors peering in your ear
    to your special lady...or man, pick your poison
    knowing what annoys them allows you to be the coy one
    and discreetly KNOW what's beautiful,
    not only nature's blessing
    artwork and women undressing...

    ...but ALL of reality.

    Take that home with you, it's better than collecting spoons or something.

    Formula-The Right Path
    Born To Kill-Goodbye SS

    Be Well.
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  2. #2
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    ...oooOOO000OOOooo...
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  3. #3
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    first off lots of props on actually having some real subject matter here - even most topical pieces don't really seem to apply to anything - this piece is useful which in and of itself makes it very nice. Flow was sickness - vocab - nice, yada, yada - started out nice with the question and nice closing thought too - yeah I'm putting this for top ten thingy - hit my Breathless
    Last edited by SMZ; March 27th, 2004 at 03:51 PM

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    Hence Forward

  4. #4
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    You know, Ive lived in Toronto for my whole life and never actually been to the CN Tower... beautiful poem. Im starting to wonder if you can actually write something bad. Stop writing so well.

  5. #5
    Maximum Character Limit..
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    Dont' really know you Maven, just know you're a mod. Very nice, I agree with it in some ways, and disagree with it in others, but the piece was nicely written. Good imagery, try to put more focus in it though...if you hadn't jumped so much...well, not that...moreso if you hadn't jumped so QUICKLY...this piece could have been a lot deeper and more powerful. Still nice though, you should have made it longer, I'da read it all.

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  6. #6
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    I wholeheartedly agree. Mother Earth is over-rated; she`s not even a MILF. Different flow was cool; I don`t know if it`s a Canadian thing, but I thought it was spelt `souvenir.` Sadly, I could not recall the looks of this tower until searching it. I wish Americans were taught to be more worldy. I learned something new & got to read a treat. Good job.

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