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Thread: Winter is Coming (topical battle - needs votes)

  1. #1
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    Winter is Coming (topical battle) leave links

    Winter is coming -
    I see it prophesized in the exposed trees,
    I taste it predicted upon the crisp breeze,
    I hear it forecast as axes bite into wood,
    I smell it foretold as frost rims my hood,
    I feel it portended in the aching of bone,
    Winter is coming - alas I have no home.

    I wander through crooked streets in a nameless town,
    I can’t go backwards no matter which way I’m bound,
    I’ve been here before only in a slightly different place,
    A fourth dimensioned door has me travel only in space,
    Trapped in one breath with calamity perpetually ahead,
    I’m continuously fearing death - yet never quite dead,
    My clothing’s torn and patched - my shoes are ragged,
    By any person’s description I’m unquestionably tragic,
    A bottle gives me warmth as I stumble ahead aimlessly,
    Endeavoring to sally forth as an epiphany came to me,
    If winter is coming why shouldn’t I simply embrace it,
    It’s an odd form of cunning but now I turn and face it.

    Winter is coming -
    I see it prophesized in the exposed trees,
    I taste it predicted upon the crisp breeze,
    I hear it forecast as axes bite into wood,
    I smell it foretold as frost rims my hood,
    I feel it portended in the aching of bone,
    Winter is coming - alas I have no home.

    I upend the clear bottle and consume the liquid fire,
    It’s the only inferno I’ll need as I assemble my byre,
    Shoes - you guarded my feet throughout many miles,
    But you give me no heat so I’ll stand upon my wiles,
    Torn shirt and pants - you have prevented my shame,
    But you do nothing to enhance my new innate flame,
    I discard these corporal ties and sense myself a god,
    As I scream at the sky in the midst of the promenade,
    “Do your worst… I’ll not tremble at your presence”,
    Thunder rolled without - accompanying fluorescence,
    The North Wind struck me numb - I stood yet barely,
    Winter had come - and now it sought to ensnare me.

    Winter is coming -
    I see it prophesized in the exposed trees,
    I taste it predicted upon the crisp breeze,
    I hear it forecast as axes bite into wood,
    I smell it foretold as frost rims my hood,
    I feel it portended in the aching of bone,
    Winter is coming - alas I have no home.

    First fingers, toes and ears burned with a bright pain,
    Luckily I felt little from the liquor clouding my brain,
    Leaves and trash tumbled by - carried upon the wind,
    I had never felt so miserable - nonetheless I grinned,
    Teeth chattered beneath the onslaught of the tempest,
    Eyes are downsized increasingly with passing minutes,
    It becomes harder to reason - now I just want to sleep,
    Amongst all the seasons why’d I pick this one to beat,
    The memory floats aggravatingly just beyond contact,
    But I focus patiently and manage to acquire it on back,
    I’ll finally be free of this existence prefaced by non-,
    Yes, winter is indeed here - but I… I am finally gone.


    Here's the link to the battle:

    and here's my two links:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118962
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118959
    Last edited by SMZ; March 16th, 2004 at 01:38 AM Reason: Why do you care?

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  2. #2
    \(^-^)/ Freeman's Avatar
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    Flow was cool..

    Hook was dope..

    Your best drop ive seen for a while in my opinion..

    Get this down in audio.. ..

    Who you against in the battle?

    Hit this..

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...73#post1253173

    Holla bk..

    Pz..

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  3. #3
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    Y'all know me - reply and leave links - I'll hit them. If you don't know me - reply and leave links - I'll still hit them - and someone please go vote on this...

    And thnx Freeman - lol - when I first came here I was ready to war with you - now you're the only person who leaves feedback - lmao

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  4. #4
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    ^^^

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  5. #5
    ...practice makes poetry
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    yup the 5 senses hook was pretty good... overall your flow was tight man... I see room for some elevation in structure and complexity... not that it's bad... jus that's where you need to look to get to the next level.... ya feel?

    I dig this imagery and content overall...

    I'd go vote on your battle but... well... you're in my crew...lol
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  6. #6
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    Thnx man - yeah it's a little simplistic 'cause I was just trying to get it done quickly, I got some double rhyme interspaced through about 2/5 of it but it's mostly just end rhyme.

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  7. #7
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    not bad... best thing was the flow .some decent rhyming, but ive seen bette from you, it seemed a bit too regimented,, even the layout... but the basics were thee,,, jus try and get past where your at... most i see from you are on the same level... not much any better.... oh and stop bitching bout your drops, mine get slept just as much....lol
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  8. #8
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    and up again

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