Can't Forget Yall(deep shit)

[YJ]

I wrote this to the scarface & jayz guess whos back beat I didnt feel like addin in the intro cuz it was kinda long

Replied 2:
Origins of two - wogzta & FormulaMC
Like A Phoenix Out Of The Ashes (Reborn) - ELEETE

(Verse 1)
Verse 1 is for my momma, I was always causin drama
your first son is about to bring home a bunch of commas
maybe even a lady cuz your son be pimpin occasionally
and between me and you let this equation be
equal, and I remincise of my childhood years from the past
verbal and physical at each other we would blast
it was like a competition, you would shed tears first
and I wish all of my wrong doings would be reversed
but you were sometimes acting far from intelligent
for this verse I must put you in here and represent
all the mothers who be givin niggas hard times
I thank my mother for the beatings of my crimes
committing from steals to attackin you with my words
but you would still love me wither I'm dumb or a nerd
I thank you for the beatings which gave me motivation
and I hope it stays strong the mother and son relation
can't forget ya

(hook)-ova lappin my last line-
can't forget tha people who cared for me
a few left but they're still there for me
I can't forget yall(x2)

(Verse 2)
will never forget Mehera my fake sister
you were taken away from me from a twister
you're nither in heaven nor hell but, I miss her
you impacted my lifestyle severely and made me make decisions
during the time my life was heading towards a fatal collision
hated me, hated people, I hated life
and all I saw in my eyes was a knife
your physical appearance and smile is kept as a memory
if you never existed my life wouldn't go thru this emery
but you yourself also hated this living and wanted your own demise
you kept me writing and putting you in a classic would be a surprise
you wouldn't let them niggaz joan and a lot of luv was shown
I'm hoping not to meet a Mehera clone, I would be blown
can't no female replace your spanish like look
little sis, I wish you were back at springbrook
but it was your families decision it wasn't yours
and you are just another person who exited the door
when I look back at this in a few years
and rap it sis I will shed a few tears
can't forget ya

(hook)
can't forget tha people who would care for me
they never left they were always there for me
I can't forget yall(x2)

[Da Kid]

yea that is some deep shit. i understand where u comin from. hot shit.

[YJ]

thanks uppin

[Penskills]

Good flow..decent wordplay..I didn't really see any imagery that stood out...you had a decent rhyme scheme going too...Nice piece...peace...~Click~Click~sig~

[Genazyde]

I feel you cuz, this line really stood out for me

'hated me, hated people, I hated life
and all I saw in my eyes was a knife'

Nice job man, shit was real deep, had some hott flow in places G, this was crazy nice, 8/10

one

[YJ]

thanks for the feedback
uppin

[rule]

Pretty good. I liked the emotion and try and get some more detail...it helps with the imagery which increases a text song/poem a lot. wordplay was on and off..but still good some lines were really powerful....keep doin wutcha doin and i'm sure ypu'll elavate soon. kee it up pz

[YJ]

thanks uppin

[YJ]

uppin

[Prince Adem]

this was pretty good... nice flow and rhyme scheme was dope.... could use some more multies and a better vocab... but was quite good... also it was deep so thats a plus, made for an interesting read.... 8/10

[YJ]

uppin