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Thread: Typing Rhymes

  1. #1
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Typing Rhymes

    Im sat here thinking on the brink of reality
    In a world, consumed… in a fallacy
    Sporadically writing scripts like a new… new testament
    But in reverse cos it’s really flipped irrelevant
    Gotta be malevolent… cos it s living straight ripped lines
    Giving false finds… with its modern metal
    Just cos the detector beeps, don’t mean the glory revels
    Don’t let it embezzle… consume… its partial being
    The closet room, in the vast mansion… not all freeing
    Without foreseeing… Im feeling quick its grip
    The noose, tight or loose… it’s in your own finger tips
    Virtual tricks mean shit… it’s a world of physicality
    Of man-to-man mortality… so shed some perspective
    Have plans other than to span cyber’s collective
    Be inventive… reach for realms beyond your grasp
    The contrast is electric… cos solitary typing is digressive
    Remember…moderation is effective… don’t tip the balance
    Cos life out weighs typed play’s entrapments
    Its nice to relay… but too much is like flatulence
    It repeats… gets you know where… it embarrasses
    Its just deceit… your life halts, but the rest keeps moving
    And while your fine tuning… the worlds cruising
    Some say it’s intruding, eluding… but I say escapism
    Im using… you might call it plagiarism
    So listen, cos very word is spoken… but not aimed at him…
    Or aimed at you… it’s preferential to the whim
    I enjoy it… but it’s by no means my most important thing
    Yes… On my list of priorities…. its floating on the wing
    Last edited by Endeva.; February 13th, 2004 at 05:37 AM
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  2. #2
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    no sleeping...........
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  3. #3
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    wtf....
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  4. #4
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Alright...peice flowed pretty nice throughout..Good use of vocab...actually very good use of vacab....The peice gave me sort of a dreary feelin while reading it...Dunno if that was intentional...But a nice peice...Keep it up

    Please vote on this...Can you drop battle links in open Mic? http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113978
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  5. #5
    Savir
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    not bad..

    mad vocab in this..i had to read it a few times
    so i can run it through smoothly..
    this had its good points and its low points..
    the fallacy part was tight...but towards the middle
    i was beginning to doze off...it might be cuz its 1:11..
    but nonetheless it kinda didnt hit my imagery nerve..
    u came stronger in the end..more feeling to it..
    more meaning...cool shit..

    peace..

  6. #6
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    thnx for the feedback...... anymore
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  7. #7
    Close To The Wrath Of God Brother Blue Collar's Avatar
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    nice drop here the vocab was nice but sleep where in there it made sleepy until i got to end of it other than that the ending and beginning was nice
    I believe i'm making some good music, please just wait for me




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  8. #8
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    uppin this....
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  9. #9
    ||RythmicTendicies|| 'PercepTion''s Avatar
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    --[Flow]---
    Flow was dope...think you had some mad internals and alot of complex/depthful rhymes, you preventing from a simplistic approach which was nice...:
    "The noose, tight or loose… it’s in your own finger tips
    Virtual tricks mean shit… it’s a world of physicality
    Of man-to-man mortality… so shed some perspective
    Have plans other than to span cyber’s collective"
    - thought it was well dope.

    Got a sort of slow paced feel to this...beacuse of the way you structured it.

    --[Vocab]--
    Vocab was tight, was spaced out well and refrained from over and underusing it, it fitted an flowed in nicely, keeping the piece consistant and fluent throughout. Looked like it had alot of thought into it 'cos words were inserted professionally.

    --[Concept]--
    Didn't think the imagry hit as hard as it should have, and yes, it did sort of lose it's appeal in the middle although picked it up again around this line:
    "Some say it’s intruding, eluding… but I say escapism"....
    Felt that you were tired, distressed maybe....?

    --[Overall]--
    Overall this was a good piece...flow was fluent and the vocab was well executed..although the imagry was lacking, it was still a good read..3/5.
    Open Mic's


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    --------------------------------

  10. #10
    Nice work,your vocab is certainly impressive,your wordplay was awesome too.
    I wasn't so fond of your structure,but it woked out.
    I'm looking forward to seeing more.

    I Haven't Been Nowhere..But..Can You See Where I'm Coming from...

  11. #11
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    why thank you
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  12. #12
    Its a tight flow , what really catches my eye is the vocabulary used , the way my styles are kicked.

  13. #13
    Otherwordz
    Guest
    this piece was sexy...ya imagery wasn't as good as usual...but ya flow was on point...as was the vocab...and the imagery was still good...so overall this was a dope piece...so keep doin' ya thing...even though you just a big soft head fruitloop face...lol...

  14. #14
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    ^^lmao... ok
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  15. #15
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    Once again..and agian..you put out quailty material...I think this maybe one of the best I've read from you in a while...your imagery really stood out on this piece..your vocab and wordplay is always thier but..your imagery really stood out..Good job!!

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