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Thread: Individual v. Public

  1. #1
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    Lightbulb Individual v. Public

    Penskills is. . Jessica Lynch


    I'm walking on Hollow Grounds, a labyrinth of millions
    Filled with bloody stains and clamy prints of children
    Cremated Tongues coat my lungs...and I'm never knowin
    Trippin over gnarled bones, that graves are overflowin
    Now I've seen the dead, not those' lived in lovin, but
    Those that died open eyed, flung open wide in judgement
    Chained to a Cov'nent whose eyes sigh in resignation
    Of life lost in Dreams mocked, by Death's preservation
    Dignity holds no weight,they believe the grass is greener on only their side
    As in infinity, a cycle of hate-broken and mended by the faults they hide
    For polluted minds no sun shall rise,they lack and know only the setting Lost, their words are but a disguise,hooked on substance they're caught in the netting
    Inscribed in ashes within the Devil's book: names he lies claim to
    Not their soul but mind he took,blood on blood they will rise and fall like Rome's famed two...


    I am. . Public, the

    The bottoms fit conglomerates
    of different shapes and sizes,
    It's our job to scratch the bottom-feeders
    and anticipate disguises. .
    A perfect body?
    Realize, we're forced to teleprompt and test you,
    We saw propaganda rear its face
    in the form of the helicopter rescue. .
    Curbing the kid in me, perhaps
    deserving of bigotry,
    The marketable was marketed in the form of the suburban epitome. .
    Well-fed & two-faced;
    dare I say: a skillful, wily mouse,
    Who has tattered our nation's name
    via Bill O'Reilly's mouth. .
    Retrieving the bright dollars
    and deceiving contrite scholars. .
    This victory is smeared across the dearest hearts & sleeves of the white-collared. .
    Well-orchestrated;
    consequences discarded hearts in blunder
    Perplexing 'minds' on the daily;
    and making Barbara Walters wonder. .
    Untattered, like fun mattered;
    even the British eyes could scold her,
    But after serving our country, how can we criticize our soldiers?
    Again, a genius plan -
    I see Rumsfeld blessing the rich shows,
    They saved his ass, but what happened?
    Only Jessica Lynch knows.

  2. #2
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    Koalatee and I worked on this for about 30~40mins, we had no clue what each others verse was going to come out like(although since he is one the brightest writers on this site, and I could count on him to back me up,if mine failed),I just wanted to give him props on writing a such great piece in such a short time..I hope you will enjoy this..peace...~My sig is cool!!!!

    XXX-I had someone AIM me and ask me who Jessica Lynch was...I won't say any names*Cough*dazasta*cough*..but if you don't know her by now...I don't know what to tell you...
    Last edited by Penskills; February 10th, 2004 at 09:42 PM

  3. #3
    Back By Popular Demand... ELEETE's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    This has Legends written all over.......have to say I know you Pen an you always come strong with your shit......As for Koalatee I must say never heard you before but now am interested in more of your writings! Great drop! Imagery (I stress on that all the time) was amazing! Great piece!!! The subjectbeing as touchy as it is was approached very well.....(I'm in the military) ...I mean I'm stunned........if this don't get into legends nothing will.......great job to both Pen an Koalatee!!!!
    Last edited by ELEETE; February 10th, 2004 at 09:45 PM

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  4. #4
    Whiiteboy Daz's Avatar
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    penskills.......and k huh?....im continually amazed by the talent that many of you show..i did not know who jess lynch was until pen explained it to me and now that i know..i find this peice very dope......pen shut up!....sorry i didnt know i dont cnsider her that important...but this peice is woah...everything on point.and pen i wanna collab you hoe!
    Always Impervious an Axis Power.


    Supermod Me.

  5. #5
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    UPPED, please.

  6. #6
    \(^-^)/ Freeman's Avatar
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    Good piece...

    Flow was consistant...
    Nice vocabulary...

    Dont know who 'Jessica Lynch' is... So a dont understand it really...

    Keep it up a guess...

    Hit up something in my sig...

    Pz...

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  7. #7
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    I'm new here and pen I've read alot of your work....you don't need compliments...you know you're dope. Koalatee that was the first thing I've evr read of your's and trust me I'll be reading more that was brilliant. If that was written in forty minutes then I've got no criticism. I'd be stretched to find a criticism if it took ya forty days. Very nice.
    if anyone gets a chance please peep my verse. First one, be nice.

  8. #8
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Da MUSEishun
    I'm new here and pen I've read alot of your work....you don't need compliments...you know you're dope. Koalatee that was the first thing I've evr read of your's and trust me I'll be reading more that was brilliant. If that was written in forty minutes then I've got no criticism. I'd be stretched to find a criticism if it took ya forty days. Very nice.
    if anyone gets a chance please peep my verse. First one, be nice.
    ^Thanks..and Koalatee's probaly the btightest writer on this site!

  9. #9
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    wow...we getting slept on..

  10. #10
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    Damn .. Sicc collab fellas .. Haters .. LoL .. I was feelin' the concept .. Dopeness men .. Both of U complemented eachother so well in this and that was dope .. Both verses were written well .. G came wit that crazy vocab he's known for .. Penskills delivered another nice verse .. Overall means a dope collab .. My quote from this tho comes from Hod's verse ..


    Well-fed & two-faced;
    dare I say: a skillful, wily mouse,
    Who has tattered our nation's name
    via Bill O'Reilly's mouth. .
    Retrieving the bright dollars
    and deceiving contrite scholars. .
    This victory is smeared across the dearest hearts & sleeves of the white-collared. .


    That part of ur verse was sick as hit-say man .. Mad props on that .. Again dope job on the collab here .. Keep writin' .. One

    A.i

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  11. #11
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    thats gay as hell
    i wrote a long chunk of words discussing the verses and the jessica lynch shit..
    and thought id posted it
    but its not here = !
    sorry
    well basically this was dope..
    pen..
    nice verse got that side of the story across well and some tight imagery usage
    nothing to really complain about except the latter lines seemed to get a bt elongated
    but eh..still good
    really good collab
    g.hods piece was outstanding..
    littered with subtle jibes at politics and sarcastically done with a range of vocab
    ended it perfectly as well kind of returning it back to the first verse
    you clearly know your subject matter well..
    and displayed a great talent for writing on this issue
    dope
    props
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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  12. #12
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    interesting choice of topic, but not really my thing.... you handled it well, both of you, pen, yours started off rreally nice, and stayed pretty constant, but the last third, seemed to a different flow, cos it was stretched a bit, koal, your verse had a nice flow going too, and some nice wording..... it followed nicely from pens,.... but like i said, didnt really captivate me..... good collab tho
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  13. #13
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    ^thanks..more please~~~~~~~~~~

  14. #14
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    I feel embarrassed upping so much. . Thanks to fgee & co.

  15. #15
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    Bringing back a Classic....

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