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Thread: The Morning After

  1. #1
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    The Morning After

    my first drop on RB...newer piece...explorin my style...what u think?

    **REPLY TO MINE AND I WILL RETURN THE FAVOR**
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    The world around me strewn and jaded by these halls of illusion
    Lives cast within shadows stuck in a relapse of the horror
    The pain, the suffering, the misgiven instincts of the night before
    But now is just the morning after

    Walls coated in shells of paint, artists’ words sprawled out
    Lamps broken, furniture burned, my house destroyed, my life altered
    The physical torture of what I awake to from my induced comatose
    But all is forgotten by the morning after

    Life is a constant work in progress and is constantly morphed into a new
    For better or for worse, till death do us part from this cycle of reality
    You never regret painting over something because you are adding a new chapter
    But all is a new in the morning after

    It wasn’t how I imagined it would be, I tried to be strong but crashed
    Fell like a fire fly from the sky illuminating the world bellow
    Before I was a shooting star, something to wish for upon
    But I’ve burnt out in the morning after

    Memories flood and we try to erase all the pain of life
    Lying paralyzed by fear of what happened, fear of what you missed
    The night before brings along horrors not thought of, unplanned
    But all horrors are resurrected on the morning after

    Steams of drugs now flow throughout my veins
    My heart pumping streams of straight corruption, poison
    The beers, the smokes, the needles, the tears
    But all hit harder on the morning after

    Body aching from the pain that’s been caused
    Struggling against the pains of what happened the night before
    The party that went wrong, the loves that were lost, the lives that were ended
    But heaven doesn’t come to us on the morning after

  2. #2
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    i dont know why this is getting slept on, its a pretty good piece. i dont think ive read anything else from you before, but after reading this im going to make sure i do. your detail and descriptions in this were well done. and i liked the whole idea about this piece, was very unique, and interesting. you had a good opener, kept it alive all the way throu, and ended it with a strong good ending. your content was good, you didnt drag it out and make it boring at all. your vocab was pretty good, structure was basic, flow worked, emotion was there. i felt you did an awsome job on this piece, the approach and look on the topic was what i liked most.

    ~Tera~
    DONT HATE
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  3. #3
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    thnx much fo the feed means a lot to me

  4. #4
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    man sleepy in here

  5. #5
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    last uppin

  6. #6
    -Suspect-
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    yea man this is pretty good shit keep it up
    wanna do a open mic collab?
    pm me if ya do g

  7. #7
    i know u think my stuff sucks but yours is good maybe u can teach me some shit i am only 15
    Brandon Kerpics

  8. #8
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    thats one piece...srry if i insulted u o somethin but i juz wasnt feelin it i think it was the topic...

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