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Thread: when an angel grabs the mic

  1. #1
    Newbie $money$clip$'s Avatar
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    Dec 2003
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    everett ( 425 )
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    39
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    when an angel grabs the mic

    i wonder what it sounds like
    to hear an angel on the mic.......



    i close my eyes
    and i see angels and demons,
    laughin and screamin,
    but i can't figure out the meanin,
    i wake up in a cold sweat,
    relieved it was a dream
    but i can't forget,
    i'm paranoid
    i feel like everybody's against me,
    i got the devil in my face
    and he's tryin to tempt me,
    he won't let me,
    out of his grip,
    it gets tighter every second
    and i can't take this shit,
    can anybody tell me what's wrong,?
    what the fuck is goin on,?
    i turn on the radio
    but it's the same old song,
    nothing has changed ,
    this world stays the same,
    the stress racks my brain
    til it drives me insane,
    pushes me across the line,
    look deeply and i'm sure you'll find,
    i've given up hope,
    sittin in a cloud of smoke,
    listenin to my boy say " your rhymes are dope",
    i cough , i choke,
    i can't breath, my vision turns blue,
    i hear my homeboy screamin
    " what the fuck should i do?"
    i see bright red, bright blue
    flashin lights,
    i picture my kid and my wife,
    and then it all turns white,
    that was just last night,
    so i guess this is what it sounds like,
    when an angel grabs the mic,


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...&postid=992103 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...&postid=992114 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...&postid=992118
    one life
    one death
    one love


    $money$clip$

  2. #2
    Newbie
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    Dec 2003
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    SC to NY
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    it was cool it was more of a poem to me but it was aight it broke up just a lil at certain point but it was alright ohterwise
    I'm the ni99a behind the clips like the neptunes

    In the game I out last, sick and daranged outkast, but no Big boi or Andre , but i got big toys and i'll spray

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    Yeah i agree this was alright here....structure in this was ok, your lines could have been a little longer i thought, cause they were kinda short though...probably should try to add some multies to this to help it out though...but overall this was ok...keep at it.

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    IMO, this was pretty good. I had strong sense of imagery whne reading this.
    But the way you wrote this peice and just the overall flow of it, it seems more enjoable when read like a poem. It's more influential. Still it's pretty good. I can picture some one spittin this on a microphone rappin to it like twista or somethin.

  5. #5
    Newbie Death-Angel's Avatar
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    not bad man keep it up ull get there lol or u allready ther 1 of the 2 lol nice work thoe

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    :box: :box2:

  6. #6
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    Feb 2002
    Location
    England, Liverpool
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    8-1
    Dont up old stuff.

    SS League Record 31-8
    SS HW Champ
    14 x OM HoF



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