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Thread: -[Clausterphobics Presents]- Letter To Her

  1. #1
    I'm Illy I'm Illy Qui-Gon Illy's Avatar
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    -[Clausterphobics Presents]- Letter To Her

    3 Replies
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...847#post915847
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...849#post915849
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...854#post915854

    I been trying to write you something, but I wanted it perfect
    I really don’t know what to say, because I've been a jerk, shit
    Went berserk and quit, because I realized that I still love you
    I’ve had to shove through, bid my ego adieu, I wanna hug you
    And kiss you, till you understand how much I really miss you
    I reminisce too, about all of the days before I became stupid
    And ignored the fact, that I had really been blessed by cupid
    He gave me the chance, shot the arrow at my perfect match
    Threw the ball right at my face, took for granted I could catch
    When you were the best thing, that I’ve ever caught to this day
    An angel named Shea, without her my whole life’s in dismay
    My life’s been a play, I been acting too much, ignoring the script
    Thought if I stayed out of the puddles, I wouldn’t be able to slip
    But I fell, flat on my back, open my eyes to find that I’m in hell
    I could tell by the smell, I tried to yell for somebody to help
    No one listened except you, after all the shit I put you through
    You deserve to hear the truth, but I still wanna say thank you
    If wasn’t able to talk to you, I would have gone crazy and blew
    It would have just made things worse, like everything else I do
    I’m not begging for forgiveness, I know that it takes time to heal
    Tired of concealing my emotions, my world seems so surreal
    Like am I behind the wheel? I’m not talking about an automobile
    I’m talking about the way I feel, because I hit the banana peel
    And now I’m down in a kneel, with my arms spread out wide
    Hoping for at least a hug, to feel warmth again at my side
    I’ve been missing it this whole time; I found that the earth is cold
    I sold my soul to the devil, and sunk down to a lower level
    Now I hear the sound of revel, and I’m having anxiety attacks
    Cause I'm sitting on a question, could you ever take me back?

  2. #2
    beyond dope.
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    Some funny twists in this, ..combined with a nice flow, ..and a ok concept..

    Like am I behind the wheel? I’m not talking about an automobile
    I’m talking about the way I feel, because I hit the banana peel

    Lol^

    It was an nice read..to bad its bein slept on^

    Up^

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  3. #3
    I'm Illy I'm Illy Qui-Gon Illy's Avatar
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    yeha, thanks for replying...

    zzzZZZzZZzZZzZZzZZZzZzz

    quit nappin, wake the fuck up!

  4. #4
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    i like it went from serious to just fuck!!!!!!
    illness
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  5. #5
    I'm Illy I'm Illy Qui-Gon Illy's Avatar
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    dont sleep fuckers... i need some serious feedback... this is seriously going to my girl, how is it? do you think its good enough?

  6. #6
    Pot 'Ed pot1ent's Avatar
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    This had a dope structure. .Text wise this was ill, I've come to learn structure isn't important at all in audios, but the meaning & rhymes were great, Some multis in here, could've done with more really, good inners to help carry the flow. .Pz
    Pot` Ed.

    I dropped to show RM what hot was;
    And this faggot got Butterflies in his stomach the size of Mothra

    Your text is just another weak display
    One fist to your eye'll make it go through that black album remix phase. - Saviour Arraign

    <center>The Faculty</center>

  7. #7
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    If your sending it to your girl, she'll like that....
    I thought the flow was good, tight structure
    some good wordplay, the concept was a mediocre one
    but the mindset you wrote it in makes it dope....

    Sweet piece hoe

    ---outtie

  8. #8
    I'm Illy I'm Illy Qui-Gon Illy's Avatar
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    Up...

  9. #9
    ... Prince Adem's Avatar
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    this was a hot drop... i like how u built it up from serious with twists... you had a nice concept here, kinda played... but u dropped it really well and it worked... flow was on point, vocab was good... dope wordplay... but u shouldve used some multis, that would made it 10/10... peace

    check out my open mic, "Rap Magnetism"... thanks

  10. #10
    I'm Illy I'm Illy Qui-Gon Illy's Avatar
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    Up....

  11. #11
    Rock you in the Face Sir Skiddz SoPhrenic's Avatar
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    Nice Nice Nice...
    Ill, one of your best pieces man. The structure was good, your flow was good, Everything was as good as it gets. Sure, the topic was "played" but who doesn't want to write to there girl or whatnot? You seemed to show a nice display of emotions, and I have no way of really giving you anything constructive here, when you came off nicely in this topic.
    Hence Forward.. BURR!
    [YOUTUBE]seYxVBIsycE[/YOUTUBE]
    Just watch My Back, I got the front.

  12. #12
    Arsonist, Outlaw, Watcher Withersman's Avatar
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    WERD WERD WERD. This joint was nice. The flow was crazy but the topic was a lil played out. But keep spittin homey. And return the favor.

    Corrupted Mind
    RIP MANET

    OPEN MICS

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  13. #13
    I'm Illy I'm Illy Qui-Gon Illy's Avatar
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    up...

  14. #14
    I'm Illy I'm Illy Qui-Gon Illy's Avatar
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    up... jesus

  15. #15
    =)
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    This Was Pretty Dope.. Deff Improvin Ya Shit Ment
    A Good Read.. Story Was On Point

    Nice Drop
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...481#post921481
    Artificial Intelligence.

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