User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: Written in Blood

  1. #1
    Peepers
    Guest

    Written in Blood

    hey everyone, i'm back......tho i'm sure no one remembers me, lol
    i used to be a staple on this board way back in the day......peep my latest peice and gimme good replies, thx....pzz

    "Written in Blood"

    Picture this, a lovely relationship based upon bliss
    Where two kiss and make love passionatly without risk
    Now throw that wish outta your head and concentrate
    Imagine events that raise the death rate and sheds' fates
    only leading to more hate, i'll elaborate on this horror story
    parents, put the kids to bed early tonight, this letter might get alittle gory.....

    --Anonymous letter to mother

    "I say innocent souls exist only when they can cringe
    A callous heart dwells ina whirlwind as the world spins
    Lately i'v debated with Satan about fate and chaos
    I speak the truth, at this place it's too late for fake plots
    the begining spot, high school, english class in the past
    a beautiful girl ready to crash, beggin anyone to save her ass`
    a young genious with an impossible task to be the freak
    experienced everything except peace, cried like her eyes leaked
    Now i'v witnessed this and feel change is needed
    i'm indeed waiting paitently for inspiration bleeding
    some call it kidnapping, i call it full time baby sitting
    i plucked this intermittent rose petal without grittin
    took her from sittin in bio class to living the teachings
    useless became readings, no use learning about those beatings
    on a tether, we soon tango'd to the music each night together
    oh it was amazing, how the sweat dripped beneath the leather
    whether or not she enjoyed it as much as me, i was in love
    a kiss and a hug each morning as i woke her with more than a nudge
    afternoons have flown by like a dove, but my gloves are still stained
    it's rained, but i still can't get rid of that horrid stench gained
    maybe its the stench of failings, maybe i never really helped her
    we had daily sailings to the beach, once it rained so we reached shelter
    except for the ropes, we made love bare naked under the umbrella
    saving this chick, slaving for her quick, i'm behaving like a good fella
    but good things always come to an end, i like to pretend
    but she became a rental, i had to let her go, we didn't blend
    arguements of blood and knots became too frequent
    the sequence of events led me to get this message sent
    your daughter meant alot to me, but i had to forget my love
    what i'm writing with is not red ink, this is written in her blood...."

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! EyesMindAssasin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Age
    39
    Posts
    180
    Battle Record
    6-0
    this was an ok piece, vocab was alright but not great, complexity was not really there but it wasnt totally basic, was pretty descriptive at times, you got some good emotions and thoughts across.

  3. #3
    Peepers
    Guest
    trust me, it was more complex than you think.....

    thx

  4. #4
    Peepers
    Guest
    ^

  5. #5
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    j-ville florida
    Age
    43
    Posts
    5,352
    Battle Record
    7-14
    THE IMAGE AND EFFECTION WAS EXPLOITED WELL HERE RELATIVE SENCES WE CAN ALL ADHERE TO.
    CONCIOUS AS HELL AND WELL COMPOSED I DONT SEE THE LACK OF COMPLEXITY BUT I HAVE READ THIS 4 TIMES EACH ONE HOLD AN UN OPENED CHAMBER OR FEELING I DIDNT CATCH PRIOR I RATE THIS A 9.5 OUT OF 10(IM MAD I WASNT ON IT)
    PEEP MY ORDO ABACHO TRYOUTS YOU GOT MAD TALENT
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  6. #6
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ont.
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,038
    Battle Record
    23-19
    tight drop man...i was feelin it...i liekd the vocab an the state of mind it seemed to have 1
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  7. #7
    Planet of the Rapes. Evolve's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Age
    46
    Posts
    4,000
    Battle Record
    23-2
    Awards Legendary Member LLL Champion OM HOF Golden Glove Champion
    is this Peepers from RnR?
    Rappers sound the same man, found 1 game plan & ran through it
    They all got that Geico flow.. Cause even a cave man can do it

    ArtificialIntelligence









    AI

  8. #8
    Khôi NguJin
    Guest
    lmao...at how amateur this site really is...yes he is peepers from rnr....and this piece was dope as fuck...i already gave you props on this over at the pnp Peepers....

  9. #9
    UNSURPA$$ED
    Guest
    dope piece dawg....keep writting...holla back

  10. #10
    Peepers
    Guest
    khoi who are you on RnR?
    yep this is Peepers


    thx for the love guys, maybe i'll stick around this board....

    anymore?

  11. #11
    Cyber Fucked Your Mother Jae Cyph's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    St. Petersburg Muhhfuckin Florida .
    Posts
    5,985
    Battle Record
    13-1
    Replied To This At RnR, or RM I Cannot Remember lol . . .

    Dope Peice . . Nice Flow To It .. Just Fire Peice . .

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  12. #12
    Peepers
    Guest
    thX

  13. #13
    Planet of the Rapes. Evolve's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Age
    46
    Posts
    4,000
    Battle Record
    23-2
    Awards Legendary Member LLL Champion OM HOF Golden Glove Champion
    aight just checking.... dope piece.
    Rappers sound the same man, found 1 game plan & ran through it
    They all got that Geico flow.. Cause even a cave man can do it

    ArtificialIntelligence









    AI

  14. #14
    ric0
    Guest
    that was good enjoyed readin it

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 12
    Last Post: April 15th, 2011, 03:39 PM
  2. Written in Blood and Tears
    By Soule in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: April 11th, 2011, 04:45 PM
  3. Blood Over Paper (Blood Ink Collab)
    By Ntalek in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: November 7th, 2007, 07:32 PM
  4. FLesH Of mY FLesH BLooD oF My BLooD- DMX
    By Bro0klyn in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: March 25th, 2005, 12:28 PM
  5. BlOoD iN bLoOd OUT {Real Shit}
    By Supreme in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: May 23rd, 2002, 05:56 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •