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Thread: Fuck Love

  1. #1
    Signifakant
    Guest

    Fuck Love

    Replies:
    (1)MP~Phasis
    (2)YJ
    Fuck Love
    On The Inside I Feel Torn..Ready To Snap I Just Can't Take This Anymore..||
    Tired Of Spending My Hard Earned Money On This Damn Whores..||
    Chicks Dont Belive Me After I Say I Wont Commit Sin Or Do Wrong..||
    All I Get is A Slap In The Face After Writting All These Love Songs..||
    Tired Of The Same Shit..Qestion Do I Really Deserve This Drama?..||
    Period Or Comma..I Wanna Die Walked Out On By My Baby Momma..||
    Sometimes I Feel Like My Whole Life Is A Lie..Stuff Passes Me By..||
    I Am At The End Of My Rope These Chicks Push Me To Sucide..||
    No One Will Ever Give Me Advice So I Look To The Lord Above..||
    I've Been Done Over So Many Times..But In The End I Say Fuck Love..||
    I Just Dont Get Enough But People Say That I Deserve Alot Better..||
    Tired Of Getting Turned Down Cause I Write Chicks Love Letters..||
    Uppin This Shit

  2. #2
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    9
    Battle Record
    0-1
    nice job. im only going to show you the bads, not goods:

    bad:

    vocab wasnt above average.
    some lines didnt flow perfectly.
    comma placement is essential to good flow. start using your commas better.
    R E N .. Record Equals Nothing !

  3. #3
    Signifakant
    Guest
    Yeah..Thanks For The Feedback - I'll Try Better On My Next Piece

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    5,951
    Battle Record
    30-3
    I know how you feel jeff.....


    So hows your rock band?
    QueenStyle

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    5,158
    Battle Record
    1-4
    wasnt terrible.

    Flow was weak, vocab wasnt there
    Structure stayed solid.. Meanin alil played
    but still we all feelin u man..

    6.5/10

  6. #6
    Signifakant
    Guest
    I Quit The Rock Band Yana^..After I Figured Out I Coulden't Write A Rock Song..LOL
    Thanks For The Feed

  7. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    Yeah this was alright i thought....your structure was good in this i thought....you had alright flow, it could have been better i thought...try to up your vocab a bit....you had some lines in there that i could relate to like "Tired Of Spending My Hard Earned Money On This Damn Whores..||"....but overall this was alright...keep at it.

  8. #8
    Signifakant
    Guest
    Thanks For The Love
    Up

  9. #9
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    N.E.England
    Posts
    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    basically i agree with whats being said... flow was knocked.. vocab could be upp'd...the scheme was quite basic...work on using multis i think...but overall...not too bad..potential....pick a better topic tho,,,thats played a bit...but most are..lol...so...anyways keep at it....pZ....
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  10. #10
    Signifakant
    Guest
    Anymore?

  11. #11
    Tha Burnin Sensation 2hot2handle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    illinois
    Posts
    2,047
    Battle Record
    1-17
    it was aight, not bad, but make more rhymes and flows plus youve been here for only a month so its ok.

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    View this from last year^

  12. #12
    Signifakant
    Guest
    Dont Underestimate^
    Nice Record BTW

  13. #13
    snakeyes
    Guest
    yo, dis ryme couldnt have been so tight. the flow sounds the illest in the theme towards love. you sure know how to explain your perspective on it/

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Lulong's Avatar
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    Age
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    132

    feedback

    a lil short, you need to up vocab and make flow better, tho i changed words while i was readin it and it flowed ok. some parts didnt seem right.. but overall was an ok piece
    ~?~?~?~?~?~~?~?~?~?~?~?
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    to all thats fun">

  15. #15
    80SHOTS
    Guest

    yo

    Originally posted by Viscosity
    wasnt terrible.

    Flow was weak,
    but still we all feelin u man..

    yo i feel ya, use to feel the same way, but that was ok, couldn't say it was tight, i'll say it was aaaight, shoulda went more deeper with yo words and it could of been 1 deep motha fucking skit! but it was ok yo

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