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Thread: The Downfall of the Foundation

  1. #1
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    The Downfall of the Foundation

    The Downfall of the Foundation

    We have all heard this repeated story, of the end of the utmost high/about the fallen heroes and their slow demise/
    So it shouldn’t be a shock as I replay this journey, as the facts are supplied/that mouth resuscitation and heart procedures are useless once the beauty has died/
    The beauty has been deceased and pronounced dead but to no avail/that MCs still question why the Foundation didn’t prevail/
    Is the answer these gangster idols and the media’s unrelenting attack/of the same industry that once formed and covered its back/
    Such betrayal should not be praised or be given un-ending excuses/because though many call into question their actions; none admit their substitute of abuse/
    God had granted Hip Hop a second life through these magicians and characters/and unsuccessfully did not bring esteem nor brilliance to the unsuspecting barrier/
    What unfolded was dim and spontaneous, one key effect noted/noises accompanied with death as Hip Hop slowly departed/
    The love expressed through song and joyous masquerades/was blared out by our ignorance and the violent words sprayed/
    Self-glorification, hard images, and degrading verses being exclaimed/pointing fingers, everyone else to blame only assisted in persecuting and aiding the stain/
    Stop the violence, give up the grudge, mind your business/scrub your boots, put on a tie, make your teeth glisten/
    That fake persona thoroughly displayed, the one we claimed was none-existence/peeked around the corner, and we allowed its intentness and persistence/
    How did we so easily dismiss our own contribution to the path of diminishing/we took advantage of the hand that feeds, we did not agree that it could punish/
    And now, as various of Masters attempt to orchestra the Ceremony/they have let their inner demons break loose and conquer immense territory/
    Only one last way to conclude this lesson/only one last way to conclude this without guessing/
    Nothing can prohibit that exhuming odour that filters the room without pause or stop/the answer found in an alleyway, the slow decomposition of the women we called Hip Hop/
    can I kick it?

  2. #2
    MD_killa
    Guest
    this was murderous~..... i like the scheme and the structure... its alot like mine... hella lot easier to follow..... good spit tho the concept the blury... and thats what makes it tight... cuz you just don't explote it... but it was there... ill shyt son...

    Caesar On3

  3. #3
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    You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.

  4. #4
    Katz.Frost
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    very good. i liked it alot

  5. #5
    ^ Says It All ^
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    This Was Actually Quite Good...Structure Needs Work And It Was Hard To Keep Ya Flow, But You Got Ya Point Across Well And Stayed On Topic Well Aswell...Vocab Was Good, But Still A Bit Sketchy In Areas, But Those Things You Can Work On..

  6. #6
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Link 1-http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=1011344#post1011344

    Link 2-http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=100507

    Link3-http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=100013
    can I kick it?

  7. #7
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Hmm.....uppin for more feedback...and dont give me cheap ass one-liners for replies,please.....thanks......
    can I kick it?

  8. #8
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Fuck, will someone please reply to this..........i want some feedback...newbies are always ignored and neglected......uppin, for comments....
    can I kick it?

  9. #9
    Given Light.
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    Aight not to bad.......Merry christmas
    -You stayed on Topic
    -I caught your structure and flow
    -I got the point that you were influencing
    -Impressive Grammar
    -Nice Lyrics but yet just a poem. . . .

    Nice Job boi. Keep writing. . . Peace!

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  10. #10
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Thanks for the reply..........even though this goes beyond your mental capacity, Profit! Jk......thanks..........
    can I kick it?

  11. #11
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    weak as fuck..

    Structure was bad
    Flow was sketchy....

    keep elevatin

  12. #12
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Thank you very much, moron. Maybe you should learn how to respond to an open mic. O well, some Eminem kid who has no idea whats happening.
    can I kick it?

  13. #13
    Your foundation is deaaaaaaaaaaad thanks to......









    PEANUT HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!





    The Rapsss baby!!!!!

    Yes, I AM better.

  14. #14
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    um.......Your an idiot...and what head are you talking bout? Please give real replies ppl........
    can I kick it?

  15. #15
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Umm.....This has been here for weeks and two vets have responded...and one was only warning me to get replies....lol....two minutes to peep this......please......
    can I kick it?

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