1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5
Intro
Welcome to week 6 you fuckers. We had more no shows last week which at this point is not surprising since it happens every fucking week lol. Someone was trying to give me flak for dqing Bomb Bard even though he was roughly an hour late. This is 1-2 punch. ONE FUCKING BAR people.. The rules state: absolutely no extensions and everyone must post a bar REGARDLESS of if your opponent shows or not. And @Barcotic fuck you too, I'm not running the shit wrong. If your opponent doesn't check or show you still have to drop a bar to get the win as is stated in the rules. Now that the rules are as clear as they can be, lets move on..
Battle Summaries
Krucial Th1rt3en vs Joe Boston
vs
Okay, let me tell you a bit about these 2 when it comes to battling. Krucial likes to focus a little too much on correlating words and having as much shit make a connection as possible but he's not right in this thinking. You need a connection sure, but not 4, 5 or even 6 key words that all connect. You want to have a punch that attacks your opponent with some words that correlate but don't go crazy on that or you're taking away from the sting. Joe Boston just doesn't have it in him to consistently drop good for some reason, and I have no clue why. This last punch he literally flipped a wordplay that was just used on him the week before lmao. That's probably why Krucial got the dub.
KnowP vs plethora
vs
The first champ match of the season.. And congrats to plethora for taking this one home. I think knowp had a dope wp and with cleaner execution coulda taken this one.. plethora used a nameplay and those are generally counted as personals so that may have been what gave him the edge. This was a good battle though. Good shit to both you guys.
Requiem vs Belooshka aka Zunto
nothing
vs
I dunno what happened to requiem. Cried bout not getting put in the last contenders match and then no shows when he is in a contenders match. Zunto had a bar that used imagery and metaphor based off of reqs avatar but it wasn't a punch it was just a description more than anything. Zunto moves on to champ match though.
Barcotic vs Bombard
nothing
vs
nothing
Barcotic no showed then cried about not winning due to lack of aa check in even though the rules were right n front of his face. Then BB posted an hour late and got DQed. I wish I could have let him slide with it but if I do that then I gotta let everyone slide with it, and Im trying to run a tight ship here.
Porch Freestyle
[youtube]kboYfDwt7jk[/youtube]
Week 5 Top Punches
people booted for not voting on ANYTHING are not eligible for top 5
3. Krucial Th1rt3en
2. KnowP
1. plethora
Interesting Facts
No booty this week gentlemen.
Week 6 Match Ups / Predictions
Champ Match: plethora vs Zunto
plethora is basically a dump truck plowing through a field of fellow battle rappers. At this point we gotta wonder if he is unstoppable or if someone can humble him and prove that he bleeds like the rest of us. Will Zunto be the one to do it? Hell no. I got plethora taking this battle easily.
plethora: 90 | Zunto: 10
Contenders Match: Crack Morris vs Krucial Th1rt3en
First off fuck anyone who disagrees with me setting this contenders match up. I think this battle could be close.. Crack Morris and Krucial have both shown they got the mechanics down, but I think Crack Morris is a bit more accustomed to the style around here. With that being said I'm giving the edge to him. Should be close though.
Crack Morris: 60 | Krucial Th1rt3en: 40
KnowP vs Joe Boston
Joe Boston just got off a week where he flipped the same wordplay that was used against him the week before. KnowP just lost in a close champ match but had a good bar and walked away from the battle with his dignity. I got KnowP taking this one comfortably.
KnowP: 70 | Joe Boston: 30
ILLunatic vs Kill Spree
ILLunatic hasn't battled in a hot minute but hopefully his disdain for Kill Spree pushes him to drop dope. I think both these dudes will drop some type of personal, but with Kill Spree being more polished at the moment I gotta give the edge to him.
Kill Spree: 60 | ILLunatic: 40
Slowhands vs Lenny
I've heard Slowhands name get tossed around from time to time but I don't really know him. Lenny has had a couple good bars but hes not consistent. I think even though I don't know Slowhands, I'm gonna give him the edge because it seems like he's well known and must've battled and beat some top tier heads.
Slowhands: 70 | Lenny: 30
WEEK 4 WTF'S
WTF @ ILLunatic coming out of his hole and finally getting some E-sun.
WTF @ Zunto being afraid of ILLunatic and telling him to "GET TENFCKAWAY FRKM ME YOU CREEP"
WTF @ Only 5 bars being dropped last week?
WTF @ Lenny getting out of detention to drop some bars?
WTF @ Krucial & B Dot being worse than the Cody P & Dia feud?
WTF @ B Dot and Krucial making up?
WTF @ sniffing dried semen crust?
WTF @ Amen bitching about the battlers in the contenders match?
WTF @ Zunto trying to dictate how the league shall be run and what battles will be set?
WTF @ These WTFs?
WTF???
Outro
We got 5 battles and I'm hoping everyone shows. It's only a bar people.. I think if anyone no shows it will be either slowhands or Lenny. But hey prove me wrong. I don't have much else to say for the outro so fuck you all and have a nice day.