1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

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  1. #1
    Gotta be Tardi Fresh's Avatar
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    1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5




    Intro

    Welcome to week 6 you fuckers. We had more no shows last week which at this point is not surprising since it happens every fucking week lol. Someone was trying to give me flak for dqing Bomb Bard even though he was roughly an hour late. This is 1-2 punch. ONE FUCKING BAR people.. The rules state: absolutely no extensions and everyone must post a bar REGARDLESS of if your opponent shows or not. And @Barcotic fuck you too, I'm not running the shit wrong. If your opponent doesn't check or show you still have to drop a bar to get the win as is stated in the rules. Now that the rules are as clear as they can be, lets move on..

    Battle Summaries

    Krucial Th1rt3en vs Joe Boston

    Quote Originally Posted by Krucial Th1rt3en View Post
    at our battle...

    we can rap or i can use tools to Earth u... wit something like a blade,

    Book 13 on the Card and ill Run BOSTON... or Cut em with the Spade.
    vs

    Quote Originally Posted by Joe Boston View Post
    I'll spit another bar insulting a bitch, this retard dont get it then god forbid
    Sure he knows what a lager is, but if im doing that to his sister cunt better have 12 in her fridge
    Okay, let me tell you a bit about these 2 when it comes to battling. Krucial likes to focus a little too much on correlating words and having as much shit make a connection as possible but he's not right in this thinking. You need a connection sure, but not 4, 5 or even 6 key words that all connect. You want to have a punch that attacks your opponent with some words that correlate but don't go crazy on that or you're taking away from the sting. Joe Boston just doesn't have it in him to consistently drop good for some reason, and I have no clue why. This last punch he literally flipped a wordplay that was just used on him the week before lmao. That's probably why Krucial got the dub.


    KnowP vs plethora

    Quote Originally Posted by KnowP View Post
    I killed this drag queen last League, Jesus he resurrected again? Not coo!
    So I swear to the AzGods If this princess Diana warrior arises, we expect to still see a bitch in a costume
    vs

    Quote Originally Posted by plethora View Post
    ur old P & close to diseased. his lady gotta be fifty at least
    nobody uglier Thanos wife, the whole universe fears that wrinkly beast
    The first champ match of the season.. And congrats to plethora for taking this one home. I think knowp had a dope wp and with cleaner execution coulda taken this one.. plethora used a nameplay and those are generally counted as personals so that may have been what gave him the edge. This was a good battle though. Good shit to both you guys.

    Requiem vs Belooshka aka Zunto

    nothing

    vs

    Quote Originally Posted by Zunto View Post
    Cute avatar but..

    Your life is in shambles & ur girlfriends a whole
    His life image is a downward spiral of him n his ho doing drugs on the floor
    I dunno what happened to requiem. Cried bout not getting put in the last contenders match and then no shows when he is in a contenders match. Zunto had a bar that used imagery and metaphor based off of reqs avatar but it wasn't a punch it was just a description more than anything. Zunto moves on to champ match though.

    Barcotic vs Bombard

    nothing

    vs

    nothing

    Barcotic no showed then cried about not winning due to lack of aa check in even though the rules were right n front of his face. Then BB posted an hour late and got DQed. I wish I could have let him slide with it but if I do that then I gotta let everyone slide with it, and Im trying to run a tight ship here.


    Porch Freestyle



    Week 5 Top Punches

    people booted for not voting on ANYTHING are not eligible for top 5

    3. Krucial Th1rt3en
    Quote Originally Posted by Krucial Th1rt3en View Post
    at our battle...

    we can rap or i can use tools to Earth u... wit something like a blade,
    Book 13 on the Card and ill Run BOSTON... or Cut em with the Spade.
    2. KnowP

    Quote Originally Posted by KnowP View Post
    I killed this drag queen last League, Jesus he resurrected again? Not coo!
    So I swear to the AzGods If this princess Diana warrior arises, we expect to still see a bitch in a costume
    1. plethora

    Quote Originally Posted by plethora View Post
    ur old P & close to diseased. his lady gotta be fifty at least
    nobody uglier Thanos wife, the whole universe fears that wrinkly beast

    Interesting Facts

    No booty this week gentlemen.











    Week 6 Match Ups / Predictions

    Champ Match: plethora vs Zunto

    plethora is basically a dump truck plowing through a field of fellow battle rappers. At this point we gotta wonder if he is unstoppable or if someone can humble him and prove that he bleeds like the rest of us. Will Zunto be the one to do it? Hell no. I got plethora taking this battle easily.

    plethora: 90 | Zunto: 10

    Contenders Match: Crack Morris vs Krucial Th1rt3en

    First off fuck anyone who disagrees with me setting this contenders match up. I think this battle could be close.. Crack Morris and Krucial have both shown they got the mechanics down, but I think Crack Morris is a bit more accustomed to the style around here. With that being said I'm giving the edge to him. Should be close though.

    Crack Morris: 60 | Krucial Th1rt3en: 40

    KnowP vs Joe Boston

    Joe Boston just got off a week where he flipped the same wordplay that was used against him the week before. KnowP just lost in a close champ match but had a good bar and walked away from the battle with his dignity. I got KnowP taking this one comfortably.

    KnowP: 70 | Joe Boston: 30

    ILLunatic vs Kill Spree

    ILLunatic hasn't battled in a hot minute but hopefully his disdain for Kill Spree pushes him to drop dope. I think both these dudes will drop some type of personal, but with Kill Spree being more polished at the moment I gotta give the edge to him.

    Kill Spree: 60 | ILLunatic: 40

    Slowhands vs Lenny

    I've heard Slowhands name get tossed around from time to time but I don't really know him. Lenny has had a couple good bars but hes not consistent. I think even though I don't know Slowhands, I'm gonna give him the edge because it seems like he's well known and must've battled and beat some top tier heads.

    Slowhands: 70 | Lenny: 30


    WEEK 4 WTF'S

    WTF @ ILLunatic coming out of his hole and finally getting some E-sun.
    WTF @ Zunto being afraid of ILLunatic and telling him to "GET TENFCKAWAY FRKM ME YOU CREEP"
    WTF @ Only 5 bars being dropped last week?
    WTF @ Lenny getting out of detention to drop some bars?
    WTF @ Krucial & B Dot being worse than the Cody P & Dia feud?
    WTF @ B Dot and Krucial making up?
    WTF @ sniffing dried semen crust?
    WTF @ Amen bitching about the battlers in the contenders match?
    WTF @ Zunto trying to dictate how the league shall be run and what battles will be set?
    WTF @ These WTFs?
    WTF???


    Outro

    We got 5 battles and I'm hoping everyone shows. It's only a bar people.. I think if anyone no shows it will be either slowhands or Lenny. But hey prove me wrong. I don't have much else to say for the outro so fuck you all and have a nice day.
    Last edited by Fresh; December 12th, 2017 at 10:39 AM

  2. #2
    FUCK YOU! Kill Spree's Avatar
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    Nice... lmao @ILL coming out of his hole only to get put back into one

    - - - Updated - - -

    E sun
    FL NEEDS VOTES



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  3. #3
    Hop Off KnowP's Avatar
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    Nice write up bro. I'm coming back for that title tho. Sad all these no shows for bar still exist. Lol Joe go kill yourself.

  4. #4
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    Good shit

  5. #5
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    @Fresh so funny


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  6. #6

    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    Ha ha ha you maaast be keeding aren’t chu

  7. #7
    Gotta be Tardi Fresh's Avatar
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Zunto View Post
    Ha ha ha you maaast be keeding aren’t chu
    yeah it shoulda been 100 to 0 but I'm a funny guy

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  8. #8
    Obnoxious Amen's Avatar
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    Nice mag @Fresh. You are almost close to my caliber of mags.

    It's too bad the only bars that showed made the tops 3 list, LMAO.

    I'm sorry but the only decent one was Pleth's. KnowP's was a crazy run on paragraph and Kru's was just terrible working and execution.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Wording.

    Fuck typos.

  9. #9
    Gotta be Tardi Fresh's Avatar
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Amen View Post
    Nice mag @Fresh. You are almost close to my caliber of mags.

    It's too bad the only bars that showed made the tops 3 list, LMAO.

    I'm sorry but the only decent one was Pleth's. KnowP's was a crazy run on paragraph and Kru's was just terrible working and execution.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Wording.

    Fuck typos.
    i liked knows bar. was a little long winded but it still worked for me

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  10. #10
    Obnoxious Amen's Avatar
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    Quote Originally Posted by B Dot LESNAR View Post
    fans me in his breakdowns, it's awful when he dweebs
    ur cooked andouille both know u throat my sausage in ur feeds
    Quote Originally Posted by Kill Spree View Post
    Andouille was dope to. Some will say it's a reach but say it in slang it works
    This slaughtered my soul.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Say his long winded run on paragraph in slang and it will work, @Fresh

    If shit is forced - just say it in slang - it fixes everything.

  11. #11
    Gotta be Tardi Fresh's Avatar
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    and doowey

    and dude we

    I wouldnt call that slang I'd call that having a few dicks in your mouth

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  12. #12
    FUCK YOU! Kill Spree's Avatar
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    Rappers say shit like that... same in battles.
    FL NEEDS VOTES



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  13. #13
    Obnoxious Amen's Avatar
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    Just say it in slang.

    That is the answer to life.

    Say it in slang.

  14. #14
    FUCK YOU! Kill Spree's Avatar
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    Amen over here talkin more white than fresh and I combined
    FL NEEDS VOTES



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  15. #15
    Obnoxious Amen's Avatar
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    Re: 1-2 Punch Season 27 E-Zine: Volume 5

    Say it in slang, brah.

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