A Musical Prejudice

[Tony B]

Sit and Read, Trust me, we all need to see the Truth.....

See the music is inducive, she's the teacher i'm the student
if i smoked I guarantee ya bro, i'd smoke weed to it.
Everyday i weed through it, sit around and make attempts
to make sense of the apparent filler and dents,
such a thriller is dense..Nah, somethin like the opposite
now I’m givin props again to many dozen composites.
I can see a monument…a foundation of something aging,
potent to be ancient, formed to somethin amazin.
As you dig through the surface, past the blueness like a submarine,
throw the ingredients in a furnace to boil ‘til it’s green
then one can truly view the beauty, all the pretty colors
stop the racial scrutiny, observe opinions of another.
If rap is black and rock is white,
country yellow, blues is well...blue
I guess it means I’m mixed because I’m fixed on what is grey
I mean it’s all the same to me, still a pleasure, never better
It’s a cave remember, buried past the instruments is treasure.

[Tony B]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=327410
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=329127

[.:~Digital~:.]

Damn this shit was on point........ flow, topic, the way it was written, lyrics, vocab, imagery, and creativeness ----- good shit man i was feeling this piece and i think everyone could relate to it 9.5/10 - dope drop fam
My fav lines & part
then one can truly view the beauty, all the pretty colors
stop the racial scrutiny, observe opinions of another.
If rap is black and rock is white,
country yellow, blues is well...blue
I guess it means I’m mixed because I’m fixed on what is grey
I mean it’s all the same to me, still a pleasure, never better
It’s a cave remember, buried past the instruments is treasure.

Return the favor to my open mic - link is in sig - thanx fam

[Tony B]

yup, thx for the feed.
i'll get at your link once i get outta class

[soulstice.]

yo nizzle, pretty nice piece here, but the flow was sort of syncopated. (i think i know what that means) here im trying to say, the flow was off a bit. you started out with a muy simple rhyme scheme, but then got a 2-3 syllable one and then an inner, and than trnaslated to the next scheme, which made the conversion very bumpy, you sent a good message, and there was nothing wrong with the content, just it slowed the piece down and sped it up again.

hit up my ishshit "Prison Sex"

[evil king]

very well worded I like the color lines the title was good the emotion was good not really a image but this was more poem like but I liked this alout it wasn't boring to read or it wasn't too simple u were creative with this pieace and on point keep on writing I'll suggest this as a nomination

[Tony B]

bump.

[Tony B]

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[Tony B]

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[HighEngineChief]

This was pretty good, first few lines were my favorite, started to fall of around the end but it wasnt to bad. I liked you language in this piece, i like to see words that people dont overuse and it makes the work stand out that much more. It feels to me like u tried to rush the end and it's always best just to push back for a few minutes until something real hits you ya dig. Good drop all in all.

One

[P. Mortuus]

Nice verse. I won't say this is a full piece, but it could have become a dope full piece- i liked when you fixed the genres with colours and said your grey that was something- if delved in more could have really pumped up this piece to a whole nother level. The flow though good was patchy at a couple of places but i reckon that's bound to happen when you go back from audio to do a written. all in all a good lil piece, keep at it man and dorp a higher body of work.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=329350

[Tony B]

yup yup, spank you

[Heychoo]

this was like a piece of drugs. it was good, don't get me wrong, but you covered one part in depth......and jumped to another one quickly, then hopped to a different one. it's hard to explain lol. it was a good piece, had good flow, and had good content. it just seemed at parts under-developed. i'm sure you're just rusty though. if you get a chance hit up my piece, it's on the front page.

[Constance]

Ok, not bad I liked your use of meter in this piece. alliteration is great it's just that the repeat of the Th- sound tended to hinder you flow and isn't very lyrical, the imagery could be a little more deep, but don't be too literal because the reader will only tag onto your words and nothing further, your emotion was alright, but I feel I'm not capturing the emotion you conveyed into this piece to the fullest extent, due to your lack of vivid expression try using better words to help move the reader emotionally, vocabulary wasn't that bad pretty simple yet progressive towards the mood you were trying to set in this piece, metas were scarce through out the first half of your piece, seriously I barely seen any, but as it went on I started to see some originality in you meta's although it was mostly off and on, but more off, youur wordplay I barely seen any my friend, so I don't have much to say about that actor although it would've been dope if you've done it, it would've amplified the emotion and ultimately made a complete atmosphere for this piece.

[KayBori]

I thought this was a really good piece. Although towards the middle its like you lost the orginal topic. I can see where someone might get off about the beat but becuase i read it over and saw the change you made I was able to switch the beats with you. I thought it flowed great and it was pretty good. I liked the end actually over the beginning, the verse at start was t. Good job!