Path To Freedom (Salvation from Slavery)

[Truth Iscariot]

thorns in my feet, my skin wears thin i ran from shackles only to apprehend
this dangrous feeling bubbling underneath,i hear the hound growling oh how i fear those teeth
chills in my spin if master finds me i'm finished, but only a fool would remain there with those conditions so diminished
Of hope i made i a desicion to leave when they beat my wife to death, and i did some soul searching just to discover nothing left
in my heart now i'm running to freedom i try to put the past behind me, and the only way it can catch up is if the find me,.. i'll flea
to the corners of hell be for i go back, these leechs snack, on my blood but thats better than the hack, of an axe
freedom like an opium i am high off it hense the pain is dull, its bagain to rain, i feel it stiff upon my skull
i slip my face lands in a pool of mud, my knees and elbows gushing with blood
my feet know swole but the sound of the horses amd hounds are growing faint, i am on the path past master's Controlling Restraint
Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it
Taking my own fate in my hands feels great but i wonder whats the cost? my timing was off, my teeth chatter from the bite of frost
my head constantly sore, but the north was going to be my new home i swore
that to my cousin before he was hung, and as i run thre the fog the mist fills my lung
i am running short of breath, i haven't had a rest, since i had left, i ran my best
for a day straight its time to sit down, so i layed beside a falllen tree where no one was around
Now on my last leg i hear the sweet lord, He says to me you can't stop you can't afford
a rest he tells me just focus foward and he will move my legs, jesus by my side together we flead
Two weeks later
Before i knew it i was past the Mason-Dixon line and the lord left me be, i traveled on slowly half between a day dream
a slave catcher was up ahead but he hadn't spotted me so i just slipped on by
another week
got to new york and i began to cry
beacusae i wajust a few miles from realizing my dream, running through the quiet backwoods oh, How the tears streamed
a thin river beamed its the border line i am a step from salvation once again a hot stream comes
And i have finally completed my path to freedom

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=312621


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=312705

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=312790

[Truth Iscariot]

uping

[Forum]

This piece was very complex and complete. You left little to criticize..Your imagery was crazy the flow was on point...The piece is so detailed and descriptive. You road the topic down to the last line. Overall this was a great and interesting read with novel like motive type of feeling to it (uhhhh!). Just makes me want more of the story was what I'm trying to say I guess. But it was nice if I could say anything was wrong with it, it would be questionable. Nice shit

[Truth Iscariot]

up # 2

[Big Question]

you asked for feed////

i felt this was
decent,

[PaperChaSe]

dude the thing that stood out the most to me in oyur verse is your yrme scheme. it was complex yet still easy to read. i thought your lines were a little stretched though, thats just from my point of view thought. overall good verse yo

[Truth Iscariot]

aigh up# 3 please feed on this

[Ascend]

Other than the stretchy rhymes I have to say this is a pretty good piece. I don't think it beats 'Hit & Run' but still good. Props.

[P. Mortuus]

Once again your structure decieves the rhymescheme and flow it carries. You should work on wroding your lines as such as to reduce them na mean. I liked your piece, it gave a good story but i never felt a sense of attachment which could have been felt had you used extra emotive words. the references to God were an added atraction as i always like reading something religious or to do with faith as it usually has more depth. Overall, this was a good piece, visually though your structure is intimidating and can turn the reader off. However, other than that i liked the piece, work on imagery and presentation. Stay up^.

[Truth Iscariot]

thanks for feed

[Inspiration X]

complete diction it held its weight throughout the piece.you combined elements of reality and emotion.....its hard for writers to do subjects like those but you gladly did it

Respect.

[Tragedian.]

this was nice...i liked it...and i think the pic helped me get into it...the title was a bit long and boring though...but once i started reading i got intrested...but you're strutre lowered my intrest alot..and that made me not wanna finish reading...but i did..and had some nice flow through out the whole om...multies we're alright couldve been alot better...creative kinda...you made this good while being based on such a played topic.. but this was real good...had the right sense of vocab but still kinda basic.. keep up and check my new om esacping from death.

[Constance]

This was an nice peace, but your structure is not on point and you had an ouple of minor grammar mistakes but when doing OM's an Topicals it is an nessecity to proof read your verse befor posting, but other than that your imagery seemed to be on point an I loved the description of the dawg growling at the sslave at the beggining and the usage of words was nice.

leave Honest feed on poems or battles

[Truth Iscariot]

thanks for feed guys

[Truth Iscariot]

upp