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Thread: |-*The Legend of The Madman*-|

  1. #1
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    |-*The Legend of The Madman*-|

    The Madman's Background

    The Madman is none other than a guy who's been fucked over one two many times/
    His perogative that he reckoned by gettin' disrespected every day of life
    So now a look in the thoughts of this Madman why he did what he had to do
    To even the score between the world and he, why he had to shoot
    And even after death he haunted to bring back pain and sin
    So each and every century he returned to spread the word of him

    --A Vicitm of the Madman--

    Since the first breath to the dorm days a war was waged
    between a madman and a young boy named Borris Brave
    And boy was Borris brave to stand up he untill the Madman got the best of him on the fourth of May
    So the dead Soul took over the core of Borris Brave
    And made a story to a Legend about a Madman and the road he paved...

    The Madmans Journey ...What drove him to Madness...

    From within the division that I reside, invent ya death in a vision from within my mind
    For rhythm is what I breath and murder is but a system
    that I execute my dreams of ascension like a christian to the sky

    And from within the prison in my mind I still find the reason through the screams why I flexed da AK away
    Deducted those who dealt me shit everyday since I was first born to the day of yesterday

    Then I made a desicion to right a couple wrongs that I've been dealt
    Went to bed with a plot in head that'll help me deal back the pain that I've once felt

    Awoken by the phone that I'm prone to most ingoring
    'Cause everytime I answer it just a bitch that took my cash and is re-uppin' with her whoring

    After I ripped it from da jack I begat my scheme to get 'em back
    I sat at the table and contemplated ways to slay the hated for makin' me delay my track

    All I wanted was a chance to be one of the greats and then my best friends stabbed me in the back
    He took my place on the label I bleed to paper to spray to and said nothin' but he didn't mean to and my bad

    So now I'm plottin' out his demise along with a list of others that'll pay their dues
    My counters been covered with schemes and weapons for the past hour or two

    Now with my lip unbitten and my cowardice through
    I filled a sack fulla triggers, and rejected my second subconscience thought of endin' my old friends hour of doom

    So now I scowered at the sheet as I plowed down names of my victims, most unecthical
    Almost everyone that I've met before left the impression to leave me over them with metal to pull
    Dare they defy me now for my power is immeasureable
    And inside I find the crime not be the slightest disturbing but pleasurable
    So now with my list written I got in my shitty car and out the driveway I pulled
    Headed to Leonard Megan's house, the guy who beat my ass one day as I left from school
    As I showed up he didn't show up to be so tough as before
    His three kids wasn't a reason that'd leave to give a fuck less or more
    So despite the naggin' of his wife
    My hands lifted him by throat 'till he was hangin on for dear life

    All the while I had a smile as I mentally assessed the consequence of my arrest
    His body thumped to floor as he muttered a meaningless apology in death
    I turned to the door where before my archenemy stood gasping in the flesh
    And left his family stressed over his corps as I digested the first four minutes of my quest
    Now with my hands overlain with anothers internal mess
    I neared another door that'll leave me eternally unblessed
    Though I loved my mother she should've never deserted me and left
    That's why I splurt what burns within my chest
    And to this I do confess this has been a plot I've overly obsessed to test
    Now over is the fear that left my expression to be repressed
    For now my time is here to leave the world with whats deserved
    'Cause over time I've more than earned a place beside the muderers fo sure
    The truth is I've been a ruthless killa for years in my head now see how the tables took a turn
    Lay at my feet are sixteen people some I've never even met
    I must've lost my head and blacked out, 'cause now all I see is a red scene in a cold sweat
    I've shotoff my family, future, friends and wrongdoers without thinkin' 'bout what's next
    Then suddenly a sharp pain was felt
    'N I cursed for my cursing to the world was still in need to be dealt
    I've been shot, got back, somebody finally fell me to my home in hell
    So as I fell my eyes peeled down to see the killer of this Madman is none other than my self

    An unjust death was dealt 'cause the Madman wasn't done....
    ....And just when the story had been forgotten,...the Madman had a Son...


    To be continued...

    (For those incapable of understanding this, Borris is a victim of the Madman
    (He has nothing to do with being his son), the last part is just open for a sequel..Lol.
    By the way, this is my first story. Love it bitches!)
    -Insert Sig-



  2. #2

  3. #3
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    Since the first breath to the dorm days a war was waged
    between a madman and a young boy named Borris Brave

    lol.yup f'sho...

    this ish was actually pretty good. good approach at some dark humourous type visual imagery............. format cudda been titend up a bit here and there i gues just to make for a smoother read on the .page,but yeah you sire went into depth and hit up on some dope flows and tite rytym n meter. so yeah good work dun

  4. #4
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    Wow. Thanks bro, it's only my first drop here so I'll be doing better as time goes on. And I suppose I could have put a bit more time into it, I didn't realize that the text box would return the lines and make them look so shitty =\. Oh well, did my best. Thanks again.
    -Insert Sig-



  5. #5
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
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    ha, decent piece, i guess... you seem to be able to wcompose a decen stroy, but your rhyme scheme needs work, throw in a few extra rhyming syllables, bnut make sure they make sense, also.. i can tell you were trying to froce vocabulary.. don't do it if it makes you trip along in the read, because it looks sloppy and most veterans here will definitely say that it could be more polished. this piece was ok for your first. so you get a Newbie A+..

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=312817
    hit it^

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  6. #6
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    XD I haven't been a Newbie to rapping, just I'm new here, and yeah I'll admit I did get a little pushy around the Middle with the Vocab., Oh well, there's always a sequel. Thanks by the way.
    -Insert Sig-



  7. #7
    . . . Tragedian.'s Avatar
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    this suprised me...i thought it was gonna be some newb rappin bout how thugs kill and shit....this actually came out really good....had some real nice flow..multies were alright couldve been alot better...emotion was there and pretty deep i could feel it...the strutre went well with the plot but was meh..pretty messy...but other than that this was real good...you came real creative with the topic as well...keep up and check out my new drop brotherly love.
    Empire

  8. #8
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    I IZ a GaNgZtA DaWg!!

    XD

    Thanks man.

    Keep 'em comin' people
    -Insert Sig-



  9. #9
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dj...
    this suprised me...i thought it was gonna be some newb rappin bout how thugs kill and shit....this actually came out really good....had some real nice flow..multies were alright couldve been alot better...emotion was there and pretty deep i could feel it...the strutre went well with the plot but was meh..pretty messy...but other than that this was real good...you came real creative with the topic as well...keep up and check out my new drop brotherly love.
    word like hell yo but he feed some stuff of mine and then i knew the kid knew what he was talking about, i like the way you put in a background,i like the alliterationin the first line , nice vocab, imagery was dope in this, some of your lines shot to the right but thats cool stilll easily readable, nice multis, and the story playe out dope too

    this was a fly piece good job yo

    AI

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  10. #10
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    Thanks. Uppin'.
    -Insert Sig-



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