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Thread: Mystery Disguised

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! EvilJester's Avatar
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    Mystery Disguised

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=312023
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=312023

    Just a quick drop, havent done any in a while..

    The eye of the beholder is like the eye of the storm
    Fury from within is like a side and a thorn
    Piercing your skin, going deep within
    Like a bare foot stepping on a needle point pin

    I take inspiration from Aesop Rock and JMT
    Those cats and niggers plow through NYC
    And then take a breath, behold the power they have
    Over the thousands of people, pointing them like a Sat-nav

    Like a compass…
    Pointing in the direction of the holy city
    Like Allah, making the people unified and witty
    United so much they like the brotherhood committee
    While Mother Nature works her ways, disguised by ambiguity

    Mystery…
    Now behold what I’m about to recite
    Think about my words in the day or in the night
    Because the power on earth runs deeper that its veins
    Right to the source of its mystery, deeper than Muhammad’s remains
    Running deeper than the lava that leaks deep within
    Yet higher than the heaven, where we all must begin
    I tell the truth because I had to have something to recite on
    I had to take something to insprirate and set my sights on

    An when those Niggas call you a liar, start to light your fire
    Tell them of the history, the belief and the attire
    And then, on that spot, you might just start to aquire
    another beleiver in this religion, in this belief that we require.
    Back. Again.

  2. #2
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    yea u had some real interesting lines in places.and flowed was maintained well for the most part. but lost fluency according me in certain bars. but still it did have a nice overall feel to it. so was entertaining and the wordplay added more life to the lines i reckon...wording in few lines/bars could of been better for want of more clarity . and correct grammar but minor still..vocabulary was decent. joint was good

    hut this 1 if u get time

    -

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=312359

  3. #3
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    this was not well thought out...the imagery was weak and the vocab was also..the mettas were off..alright multies tho..you really to to work on how complex your strucure is...you really need work...in alot of parts it got me very very mixed up...you need to peep other people drops and help yourself..stay up
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  4. #4
    Expression Is Everything XM's Avatar
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    Kinda rushed dontcha think....not a bad piece but i honestly just wasn't feelin it you started with a good approach but after your first couple lines where you got to say'n nigger n shit is wasn't anything else that interested me, elevation is a must hopefully you'll do better in the future
    Where the fuck was I fore they found me?
    Floatn in a meadow, dragonflies all around me
    Seeded in a ghetto, smokin cigarellos
    Stress oceans try to drown me
    Walking on water like when Christ did, glidin
    Mic in my plam like the trident in the hand of Poseidon

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! EvilJester's Avatar
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    Alright cheers, ill hit some of your up now, peace
    Back. Again.

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! EvilJester's Avatar
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    'pin #1
    Back. Again.

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! EvilJester's Avatar
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    'pin #2
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