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Thread: Armageddon: ft. GrimReapa and Pakaveli

  1. #1
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    Armageddon: ft. GrimReapa and Pakaveli

    Armageddon: ft. GrimReapa and Pakaveli




    BLUE = GrimReapa
    RED = ferocity.
    GREEN = Pakaveli

    the holy
    the classic battle between hell and heaven, battle fronts at the gate awaiting the armageddon
    anticipation, Jesus is holiding his sword yelling, earthly beings not aware that angels are waiting in groups of sevens
    the worlds end is near, hell bound most but heavenly beings standing around with no fears
    the righteous rise up, float the sky unharmed, as it rains fire, demonic figures flock like deer’s
    evil tensions in the air, noone can see them but bout heaven and hell is there
    fire swords clashing, both side taking hard losses, but the mortal are unaware
    one angel brakes ranks, charges wih no care, swinging his sword running to hells bank
    charges toward sure death, not caring, sees the king of beasts, an runs toward him with his ar cranked
    the devil casts his mighty hand and kills him with no trouble
    but his minions are dying fast no match for the power of good there dying in doubles
    people panic at the sound of his hellish laugh, pain as their eardrums blast
    the humans fall to there knees crying quickly repenting for there sins in the past
    al the while the battle rages on, inferno covers most of the land
    lifeless bodies cluttered on the ground, exactly how the devil had planned
    demolished buildings, desolated bodies piled high on the floor
    some still dont understanding asking god what is this for
    neither side has won yet, neither side has quit it has been a million year but they carry on
    fatigue not a factor, no one stops, both just keeps swinging their might arms


    the evil
    As the claws of evil - draws upheaval - within a bloodstained abyss
    Imbibed within the jaws of the dark army and their maul of a devilish kiss
    Withered slaves of time – repaired and prepared – for this forsaken day
    A fallen angel’s flawless brutality… Red – instead of its mistaken gray
    Millions… Billions… draw apart of the forge of darkness’s forever scourge
    Against the blasphemous words spoken above – forced to disgorge
    The black dove of life… lay solemnly amidst our battle cry
    An acute blade of a knife… lays force upon a satanic rule – we wish to abide
    Horrid screams from their valves to the solid gleam in death’s eyes
    As heavenly – divine – grace dies – it is our presence that survives
    Undead soldiers – fortified – mortified – yet starve for revenge
    Countless years and tears of their life – abandon them with something to avenge
    Eternal blades of sin released – as two gods relentless raids begin
    War wages decades within another era – yet only one side – parade’s the win
    An everlasting fleet of bloodthirsty warriors – yet only victory aids their grin
    Bound to serve their fateful doom – yet after this war – it shades them thin
    The ‘rightful’ yet spiteful will of this ‘God’ is destined to abrupt
    As the wrath of the willful forsaken army – is on the brink – and about to erupt
    And as the fallen brothers rejoice – with one voice – and unite with one will
    Which is still to destroy the one ‘creator’ – whom we are destined to kill…


    the civilian
    Look at the ruins of the once caked grounds
    This sheltered the weak brethren of mine
    Rises in the ground cover the grave mounds
    That now houses the burnt molecules of time
    Through thick & thin I remember a better place
    A place where my mother cooked me meals
    A place where my wife laughed with grace
    Where my Dad closed new business deals
    I remember the place before Armageddon I do
    Now clouds shroud memories amidst the curfew
    So I strum my torn heart & devour the scene
    Of mortal flesh riddled with grey shells unseen
    Step on another body, was this not my neighbour
    War was imminent supported by political parties
    First congresses then the reformers lastly labour
    First Minister Blair shook hands with the Pope
    Pope George grasped hopes reigns to abstain
    The terror spread by fanatical extremists who
    Now lie dead next to enemies, I’m through
    With this scenario of conflict and desert storm
    I to get shot...just another spirit from the swarm
    Last edited by ferocity.; August 23rd, 2006 at 08:33 AM

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    Currently Writing
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  2. #2
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  3. #3
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    dawg fix my structure..make it size=1 and font tahoma nigga...

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    done - uppin for feed.

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    Currently Writing
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  5. #5
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Nice everyone.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  6. #6
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    like i said my verse is kinda streaced but it flows iight....welll good job erbody...

  7. #7
    Soule
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    Feed loves Pakivali

    This had some major wordplay going on. Lol in the way of a white man that means the Wordplay was incredible. The flow kept flowing well with all three of you bitchs. And the story you all brought out was wonderful. I liked Pakivalies verse the best because it had more Emotion to it. But you all did extremely well. The creativty was nice and the imagenary was great. Out of all this was a mos def 9-10. Keep writing all of you.

  8. #8
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Thanks i appreciate the verbal abuse you gave us lol, stay up.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  9. #9
    Soule
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  10. #10
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    um...tks...if i keep improvin ima get HoF 4 sho...give me a little time...NIGGAZ....AND tks for god feed ad uppin

  11. #11
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    Ok so this was an alright read. First dude your lines were stretched like woah. I understand you were using internal rhyming and shit but don't force nothing. Look at Paks piece you dont need to rhyme everyline after each other and if you do you don't need to force it. Work on your wording, don't use so many words and shit, try to keep the syallable count low and the same amount for each line. Overall though you had some good content, just need to work on ya wording and you'll be there in no time. Second dude, your lines were a little less stretched but you too don't need to force the internal rhyming if it's not there. Although yours did flow particuarly well and most of the internals and syallable counts were on point. Just work on refining some of the awkward lines and not forcing anything. Although I did like your read too, it had good content and transistions were nice. Pak I already told you in the PM that I liked your piece a lot and it flowed really well. Transitions were very good and your metaphores were real nice. All in all this was a nice read and all pieces geled together nicely. props

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303048
    Hit this piece up please. Thanks

  12. #12
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    thanks,, i'll check your up no doubt.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  13. #13
    To Pimpin b_my_guest's Avatar
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    meh..not that much of a fan of oms but wut ev..

    ya it was pretty good i liked the word play n creativity on these drops all of them had exiting startings and ending so i thought there were pretty good storys everyone in this i found put alot of thought in there topics so i thought it seemd better because of that so good job grim n i don't think your rusty n-e more

    peace
    i'mmmmm backkkkkkk

  14. #14
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    yo mad word play gotta b the best om i ever read man i like how it was worded grim a lil stretched but still dope pak u dope nigga hot fer u tight aint heard of u to much but u got some hot shit keep em comein bois holla

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    Originally Posted by GrimReapa
    well i can beat my dick from the back while suckin my nuts... :hung:

  15. #15
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    WEll yeah thanks for the comments, i appreciate them.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

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