On Top Of The World

[Vylint]

Most can feel my pain, usually by the way I look
I mean thats why way it goes, when you take the way I took
The brave branded beasts, because they bomb these bundles
and try to find somewhere to bury bodies in the concrete jungle
that's my arts heritage, from there it starts marriages
with ventin on rhymthm, beats, and that starts lyricists
lyricists start narritives, storys of gone parents and
hood tales hardly aware that its told with a genius touch
these cats evolved into a seasoned bunch of emcees that bump
in every car in the ghetto, and even punks had beatin trunks
and it's on, caught fire and wouldnt go out... after all
this was the solution to crime and basketball
fuck that cha'll, everyone a rapper now tryna get rich
and these cats arise for the glammor and glitz
then the real emcees mad, fuck that they actually pissed
that the radio got held hostage, and overran with this shit
we were exposin our struggles, and they thought it was cool
bought it for their sons, and they brought it too school
played it on their walkman, and their friends bought it too
probally shocked, these storys wern't what they thought people do
it even made alot of the news, between o'reily and bush senior
and now rap hates bush junior, and we aint sophmore either
so now it's a war, everyone raps it's got fifty genres
one for bling, one for confusing, one for missing fathers
but they all the dads prolly appear, when you make it on the scene
because raps stupid when your aspiring, but genuis when you suceed
it'll have you vommittin, ballin in tears, and ready to stop it sincere
i'm on top of the world, and i can see all that from here

[Vylint]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...56#post4852556
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...66#post4852566

[Sfinx]

I thought this was dope.

The rhyme scheme overall was just so easily fitted together. Your take on the topic was dope, when i said On Top Of The World as a topic, i dint expect you to use this take on the topic. It was nice, Element of surprise for when you open the thread

Most can feel my pain, usually by the way I look
I mean thats why way it goes, when you take the way I took

^^ I liked that.

and

The brave branded beasts, because they bomb these bundles
and try to find somewhere to bury bodies in the concrete jungle

I thought the way you described the concrete jungles and the burying of bodies was ill.

Definiatly HOF worthy

[Illus']

because raps stupid when your aspiring, but genuis when you suceed

Deep freaking line , truth !

that's my arts heritage, from there it starts marriages
with ventin on rhymthm, beats, and that starts lyricists

I can relate to these lines here a lot and I mean a lot.



Overall nice verse definitely a nice flow of things
with meaning and depthness. Good content
and you brought out very good points.
a different style for sure which is good. It
works for you.

Most can feel my pain, usually by the way I look
I mean thats why way it goes, when you take the way I took

another deep line however I think you meant to use
(The) instead of why, I'm not 100 percent sure.

we were exposin our struggles, and they thought it was cool
bought it for their sons, and they brought it too school

another example of bringing out good points
which makes this OM a strong piece.

anyway like I said overall a good drop indeed.

[Mistral]

Nice piece my man

Your rhyme scheme was on point, especially in the opening two lines, They attracted my attention from the start. Your choice of vocab helped the piece alot! It was not too complex, nor too simple. Your take on topic was also nice, It was different.

fuck that cha'll, everyone a rapper now tryna get rich
and these cats arise for the glammor and glitz
then the real emcees mad, fuck that they actually pissed

I especially liked those lines there. They summed up the piece nicely.

Good Work

[Tragedian.]

but they all the dads prolly appear, when you make it on the scene
because raps stupid when your aspiring, but genuis when you suceed

very nice man!
i loved this drop u had everything needed for this to be dope
you had some really good multies in there to really help the flow.
which the flow was really good to not off at any point u kept it steady
strutre was ok...kinda weak in some parts but what ever...

and it's on, caught fire and wouldnt go out... after all
this was the solution to crime and basketball

nice man i really like that
very good topic prolly one of teh best things ive read..
good job keep up could ya hit some of my oms if u have time.

[Synonym]

Good,dope drop man alot of quotable lines in here just a huge peicce of excelence With tons of imagery The first bar was great It drew me to this peice imo you didn't force anything at all here just alot of great bars with multies,creativity,complexity,and there was some metaphors in it aswell that reflected well seeing how they were very true good topic and a outstanding concept great drop keep up the nice drops and keep writing I'll look out for more drops and actually leave feedback on them pz.

[soulstice.]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305090

the first few bars were a little choppy, but you fixed this up nicely and made it flow much better... the topic was not original, but the title for the piece was... the ending bars were pretty much a good closure to the piece long with some other quotables.. i like your style because you don't write deep emotional pieces of death and suicide and start ocmplaining about shit.. this piece was jus the truth and a piece of your mind... YOUR ideas.. not what you see on the news.. and thats why its dope

hit up that link

[Engivale]

I'm with Soulstice that this started slow, though a lot of ppl seem to have enjoyed the first verse and the part about the concrete jungle. I think this got better as it went along, both the flow and topic, and it really made a good point that everyone on this site can agree with. I also think the best line was the one where u said rap is dumb when your aspiring but genius when you succeed, that was just plain awesome language... Really a solid drop, I liked it, and I think you'll get a lot of positive feedback since the topic really hits home with everybody here.

Nice job.

[Vylint]

Word i hope someone nominates this so i dont gotta write more verses this month ;-) lol

[$pitacular]

damn nigga... this was needed. I haven't seen anything like this on the net, that brings to light the complete view of the shit from an emcees point of view while incorporating the thought processof the outsiders/rap haters...

the part emphasizing the fact that rap's 'stupid' when you're an aspiring artist then admired once you make it, is beautiful.. nice work.

this should be touched up and made into a song.

[Omega.]

this was GREAT!....very well done. nice vocab...nice emotion and real deep in vocab man i liked this very very much!..

we were exposin our struggles, and they thought it was cool
bought it for their sons, and they brought it too school
played it on their walkman, and their friends bought it too
probally shocked, these storys wern't what they thought people do
it even made alot of the news, between o'reily and bush senior
and now rap hates bush junior, and we aint sophmore either
so now it's a war, everyone raps it's got fifty genres
one for bling, one for confusing, one for missing fathers
but they all the dads prolly appear, when you make it on the scene
because raps stupid when your aspiring, but genuis when you suceed
it'll have you vommittin, ballin in tears, and ready to stop it sincere
i'm on top of the world, and i can see all that from here
^^
those were nice lines and especially your openr got me so this was sa well rounded and nice overall read and much much need'd.


RTF on picture perfect in my sig.

[nolonger]

piece is tight man, nice vocab and the flow held it down
concept is nice and fresh i guess that concrete jungle line
was really nice it was a fluid piece and a good one to get you
back into it....coo

[Vylint]

RTF on picture perfect in my sig.

done.

[Bounce]

This was a nice read bruh...

I enjoyed the concepts here, done better than the hordes of people that attempt this sort of drop. You pulled it of pretty well, nice smooth, rhymes, nothing insane but smooth. I was feeling this, as I just came off a hip-hop culture type drop myself. So this just felt fresh in my head. good work, peep my drop

Original props: a revolution in Hip-hiop... you might like it since it's along the same type of lines. It's burried on the second page here or int he legendz nomination thread..