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Thread: get your hands off me

  1. #1

    get your hands off me

    From the start to the finish
    I'ma bark on contenders
    Wanna tarnish my image
    I can't promise forgiveness
    See I was never like this
    My mom's would never like this
    And y'all was never like us
    That's why y'all never liked us
    See I might take your style
    Flip it back, make it crack
    Sell a couple mil get some stacks
    Here you go now take it back
    I'm spittin lines of fire
    I'm in the line of fire
    Designer attire, makin me a sign of desire
    I just rhyme to inspire, your favorite line supplier
    I run through fan's signs and landmines the size of tires
    How many minds inquire, I got mines and acquired
    Enough props to make y'all resign and retire

    Now hold on, and just stomp stomp
    Get your hands off me
    Now hold on, and just stomp stomp
    Get your hands off me

    This is hot as it gets, your shit's not as intense
    My flow got 'em convinced, they ain't got at 'em since
    My back's against the wall
    So if I turn and flee and run from what's in front of me
    That won't make no sense at all
    This for my dons and divas, haters and non-believers
    They just try'na deceive us like Judas dishonored Jesus
    Why you try'na critique this, don't take kindness for weakness
    Leave you behind the speakers, body minus some pieces
    You got records to sell, I got records to break
    You will never excel against me measure the rate
    I got too much at stake I just follow my fate
    Annihilate and dominate and I ain't even try'na wait
    Last edited by yung stylez; August 4th, 2006 at 05:34 PM

  2. #2
    TNL Clee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    Awards Haiku Season Champion
    Eh, you kept changing subject, I don't understand what your piece is mainly about, you didn't stay on topic, whatever that may be, your rhymes were weak, I didn't feel it flowing at all, this piece had no emotion really, the lines were too short, you used too simple vocabulary, try working on shorter pieces with longer lines....elevate....

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