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Last edited by Richard Parker; August 20th, 2014 at 09:10 AM
the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the
Feeble doesnt need Links
The wordplay was incredible. I mean I loved the wording you did here. The flow went perfectly well because of the great wordplay. The creativty and imagenary was just plain out wonderful. I liked the video you inserted in my head. It was incredible. The rhyme Skeme was perfect. Nothing wrong at all with it. Personaly I would say like 9-10 or somethiing. But this peice was just plain out perfect. The structre made it easy to read and I love that. S...10-10. I will also niminate this peice.
~LeX
Really the title was confusing which is why I even came here....but that's completely cool. I really liked the wording in this piece it showed a lot of emotion and imagery. It was very creative, hence the title, but your rhyme scheme was on point. I wouldn't go as far as Lex and say it was perfect, but I will say that it was a solid piece and it was a good read! I will not nominate this piece....but it was still nice. Good Work!
-Old Man
cool stuff here, is this about you?? likesome real life ish?.. if so I think this may be a reflection of . basically what I got out of this is your grandfather dying made you put alot of things in perspective, one of those things being writing. this kind of seemed like a "why I quit text" piece even though it may not have been intended to be that. it seems like you never knowing your grandfather because of the time you spent writing and doing who knows what else showed you what you've been missing in life, the things you could be doing and the people you could be getting familiar with. deep piece, alot of emotions, I read it twice and enjoyed it, the start was very well done, as well as how you ended, maybe there was one or 2 lines that could have been worded better but as a whole this was a refreshing read, good shit feebs.
UA
you are correct Lama... thats amazing how you pulled that much out of the piece though... Thanks a lot for the feed
to the other dude... I reply to pieces which are good... I sometimes leave links, but it doesn't matter cuz I reply to far more pieces than I write anyway...
Meh.. I think you just mubled around not sticking to any spacific topic. Not critizing you or anything, but some of the multies you used took away from the content in my opinion. But other than that, this was a fairly nice read. There is nothing more I can really say. It wasnt wow or eww.. It was above average, definatly, but not quite Hall Of Fame. I think if you stayed active in the OM section more often you wouldn't have as many flaws. Sorry about the short feed and all, but I'm tired, and dont have much more to say besides you need to get your ass out there and leave feed.
Artificial.Intelligence
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Which multies in specific are you referring to? I just re-read the piece and nothing seemed out of place to me. *shrug* just show me what ones
When my grandfather died on February 6th or the 8th
I can't purge my guilt no matter how much that I bathe
Because it's myself that I loathe,
I itch with relentless regret down to the belt on my clothes
For being without help & alone In these times of trouble
I tell myself I'm stupid & I can't design rebuttals
Although I spent time with him I never cared about him
now where my heart was light there's barren drought n'
At least he died quickly instead of struggled
Where my grandma sleeps, only half of the bed is ruffled
& I recall sitting where he used to listen to quiet music,
His place of bliss.. but now I try & lose it
cuz I can't find a happy memory, I never created any
And damn..I just want to shake off this self-hate & envy
^^
nice multies were in this part
i felt that you just went on into freestyling not pertaining to a specicfic real topic which was koo and unique in a way...nice man FEEB's you koo at it. the vocab was koo aswell and the metas touched up the piece.
RTF on any open mic links in my sig..
Insane Joker Lyricists
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V.I.P. huh? lolOriginally Posted by Leximus
Feeble doesnt need Links
Yeah I really was feeling it too. The imagery was awesome and the worldplay gave it through the entire verse.
Percept Shun
No Links... No Replys... Period.
i really liked this drop man you had everything to make it dope and it even looked like a freestyle which makes it even better....great creativty in this drop i can say that for sure...nothin was really out of place.... mutlies were deff really really good...flow was on for the whole drop...how could ppl say it seemed outta place?....well what ever i dont know i do see anything wrong with this...good drop man if u have time could u please hit up my drops in my sig...jus dont be to harsh with the feed. thanks man
Empire
This was dope. Good story telling aspect. The multis helped the flow and it was a nice read. The metaphors and wording were strong. Some really good lines in there.
Was my favourite barBecause it's myself that I loathe,
I itch with relentless regret down to the belt on my clothes
Keep it up
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N!ce, Overall this was pretty well written. Could've made it longer tho but anways keep blessin fam.At least he died quickly instead of struggled
Where my grandma sleeps, only half of the bed is ruffled
& I recall sitting where he used to listen to quiet music,
His place of bliss.. but now I try & lose it
Last edited by Soul*Cal; August 16th, 2006 at 02:14 AM
you speak like you have any authority on the subject... lmao... as if your name is bounce or brixton... both of whom see me replying to every piece Nique, Camarac, Bounce, Evolve, and David Lama post. And a few newbie pieces here & there. Now run along & be garbage.
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