Study Hall

[LedgenZ]

See life is nothing but a bunch of hues and inflections
Still a few intellects will refuse to accept it
Yeah I listen to them spew confusing lectures over school projectors
And I admit I’m quite amused with their moves and gestures
Still I choose to reject their foolish views and reflect a
Newer tool for inspection of the rules of perception
Peruse over sections of the texts of Plato and Socrates
And lots of these cats that offer prophecies and facts
Of what we ought to be - perhaps a true democracy but that’s
Just not possibly a haps just a philosophy that lacks
Any adjustment for the addition of power and how it corrupts men
Now I’m open to discussion but how I hope this doesn’t jump in
To a rush to judgement of my stance or what’s my function
But speaking of judging – let’s switch gears to judicial system
The mystic vision in which we rely on official’s wisdom
To convict and imprison without prejudice in decision
But what’s missing’s a prism to reflect who’s the criminal and who’s the victim
Now I choose this diction wisely, but with Benedicts advising
I get sick of this type thing and think it’s time to spit some Visine
You might think I’m confused for persuing the push
But a wise man once said “a bird in the hand is worth two in the Bush”
Confusing the public with warring scenes then forcing quarantine
On so called terrorists but truth is they don’t know where he is – a quite Gorey scene
Perhaps you think I’m a conspiracy theorist, but if you fear when you hear this
Clear the mist and see what appears in the mirrors of your spirits
Perhaps the rant of an activist but one last defense before class is dismissed
Distraction is the most attractive tactic to your brain captivists
Now you’re acting pissed, perhaps I just got under your skin with it
But it’s just my sentiment – just trying to make your mind spin a bit
Hopefully at the end of it you’ll forget everything I just said
And everything they’ve planted in your head
go make your own views instead

CLASS DISMISSED - please drive safe and have a nice weekend
by the way - your assignment is to think freely - now please begin

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=306291
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=306511

[Black Hornet]

yo, this piece is off the hinges! i havn't read a decent verse in open mic for a while.

you got some of the sickest flow and rhymes but what stands out even more is your ability to use strong literary devices and keep the topic going. this is outstanding and all i can say is well done. you obviously got skills and i enjoyed reading your showcased talent. keep it up homie.

[LedgenZ]

wow thanx for the feed man

[P. Mortuus]

This was a very good piece, the whole thing flowed smooth and the indirect imagery was done well...very well. The thing i like about reading your work is how you manage to ge the words to rhyme so good and the placing of your words herdly ever ruins the flow...This would be a very good piece in audio...you should do it.
.
.
Also, check out this om, "The case of the missing Murderer", thanks
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302133

[FanQ.]

This was good. Nice flow and errything. What I like about this piece you've unleashed a message through your words and thats a good talent. I felt from this piece a tone/emotion of anger but with a calmness from your narrator, eagering to get your point across. You got stretchy Lines, but structure isn't all important. Your word usage was very superb, I really liked that. Overall this was a nice piece, Keep on writing bruh.

[soulstice.]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=301958
^

hm, the title had a good ring too it, and the flow was fucking off the hook, the multies and the rhyme scheme was nice, and even better when it was staying on the topic.. however some parts of it were like, hat cat, jackrabbit facts, like DZK.. perhaps a more complex mutliple inner rhyme scheme could increase this dopeosity
a bird in the hand is worth two in the Bush
Ill, the wordplay was very nice, i love your style, man.. the endin line was interesting as well

hit mine up

[LedgenZ]

wow thanx for the feedback!

[The Vortex]

yeah f'sho got sum coo rhymes n ish. flow was nicee as well. fluent n ish...
dope wording n vocab was well placed... has sort of the voice of a preacher to it in my view as it goes on. piece was dictated well. had clarity. wasn't exactly dripping in visual type imagery if any. but still was . could of been a touch more original w/ the statements . and had a couple of seemingly forced end rhymes. still internals was worked well. so yeah was good and sensible read.

check this piece when you got time
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=308739

[Spoken]

this was a great piece mutlies ,metaphors ,externals and internals, flow, rhyme scheme. really nice dude...it flowed well with great content and deep emotio oaswell on its side as a great asset to the verse. the way your worded your lbars to rhyme in a sense of a deep meaning..some people would do it but end up meaning something else or falling short of the meaning this never had that. nice piece man keep writing!.

RTF on the links in my sig!

[thefreakish6942]

this is some nice work, the imagary i got from it was sick, the way u wored everything was great, this was a great piece mutlies ,metaphors ,externals and internals, flow, rhyme scheme. i liked it maybe could have used some different words in some places but overall good work.

[Engivale]

I don't have a lot of time to feedback, I am about to go to class, but I wanted to at least say from reading this that you are quite a talented writer and I really enjoyed the way you flowed on this, you just let it go and let the circle of words keep coming back around, it was really great and nice to see someone writing in a way that I personally approve of for good rhyming.

This is the kind of work I look for on this site, and a lot of people will probably not see the carefully crafted rhyme schemes and easily compatible audio capability, but I just want you to know that I really liked this and would love you to check anything of mine out, I think you would really enjoy the way I write. You, quite frankly, remind me of me. At least as far as the subject matter and flow of this piece.

Nice work, stay up.

[Nique.]

I liked this. Flow was a lil scary at some parts because the length of lines changed dramatically in like the middle of the piece. Added too many words at some point, but anyway, overall this was real nice. Probably because it compliments my style a lot (rhyme heavy, some kind of message without the overflowing writing addition of imagery, etc). You made some valid points, and although it wasn't obvious, you did provide us with some visual aspects. Good shit my dude.