upping this drop...
upping this drop...
Insane Joker Lyricists
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Decentness here. Silent, i felt your part was okay, it had some inners, but if you are going to open with a lot of inners but try and stay consistant with them, otherwise, it makes the flow a bit akward. vocabulary was ok, just try to shorten some words to make it flow better. Pak, i thought you forced too much vocabulary into your piece, sometimes this is okay, but only if you have tons of inners and a rhyme scheme. here, your scheme was much too simple. decent piece anyway guys. hit up "Tomborrow" the poetic version
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i left feed on tomborrow my dude im silent...well at least i think i did...well will do now
Insane Joker Lyricists
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DONE!............thank you!
Insane Joker Lyricists
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This was good.
Silent did a better job with flow and progression, but Pak hit the imagery harder with some dope metaphors. it all made for a pretty good Collab. it was a bit too figurative to get a huge appeal, but it was neat. good title. great job to both. keep writin'
Preciated thanks
Kiss me through the camera lens.TNL
thanks ACE appreciated very well thank you!
Insane Joker Lyricists
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w00tyness I really liked this peice.
Silent you surprised me,I always knew that you had dope potential, but this peice just tops anything that you have ever written before imo, it was very intelligently thought out and I was very impressed with they storyline, you have elevated a shit load in the last few weeks, and I hope you continue to do so, I can see you turning in to a very good writer if you live up to your potential, Pak your part was also very good, I can not say I'm surprised because I'm used to seeing solid peices from you, but I'm impressed with this peice you had great imagery in here, and I loved reading it, very good peice from both writers, both your peices fitted in surprisingly well with the other......nice job and I hope to see more from you both very soon. props
hit up my latest peice 'The Wind that blows the barley'
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24 x OM Hall Of Fame
word me and pak back at it again later on a new om called yellow tape so be on the look out
thanks for the feed.
Insane Joker Lyricists
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Really Really good partnership going on here dope shit ma homies..
Pakaveli dope shit.. vocab was well used in ur sentences and ur structre and how the hole thing is set out is wonderfull
Silent good shit my dawg fa real..mulites and mettas were nicely used vocab was decent enuff but could be improved and so could the structre same to pak
Good Shit
9/10 fa reall
The Rise And Fall Will Be My Death
So As I Gasp For My Last Breath
Put the Gage To My Chest
i Gulp a Heep of Salayva In Distess
Sound Of The Gun Cocked Wat's Next
*Bang*
Bullet Incarnates His Soul
Burinin His Skin His Heart Turned Cold
Dead In a Matter of Secounds
MIND AND THE PEN
Is the Greatest Weapon
So Dont Use Gunz or Knives
Do it If u Dont wanna Live a Life
Made By Me
Preciate the comments and i'll check up the linkage as well.
Kiss me through the camera lens.TNL
This was a good read. The imagery was nice it gave the reader a vivid idea of what was being told. The wording supported the imagery as it led through a smooth flow of actions. Wordplay was nice as it led through the detailed storyline. Flow was great from both ends. & the structure doesn't matter as long as the artist(s) give their best. Which you did & for that I applaud the both of you. Great Read once more.
Artistic Visions
Written Voices
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thanks i think we deserve an OM nomination man...i really fo think so...paka
Insane Joker Lyricists
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Originally Posted by Omega.
Not so sure about that, but if you wanna try then try i don't mind lol