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Thread: 44 4's

  1. #1
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    44 4's

    4 days ago came the order for 4 battalions to slay
    insurgents overseas, the 4 star generals say
    deploy the distance, to demolish 4 unspoken targets
    and provided is 4 names, all open market
    they are the 4th Marine Division, for numerous kills wishin
    4th platoon, tasking 4th squad, and the members mission
    to find the missin', and on completion with 4 enemies slain,
    would count the 4th time the unit gained recognition and fame
    Now these 4 reasons, cause troops in all weather terrain
    to fight through 4 seasons, today the competition is rain
    4th fire team down, puddles surround the 4 bodies that lay
    the 4 months he spent in country has all come to this day.......
    ..........Cpl Frank Bishop's family is the reason he fights
    in the 4 bedroom home he bought 4 years ago with his wife
    the 4 kids they're raising, his motivation to stay strong
    their daddy is far away and its making the days long
    remember lying awake worried, having 4 weeks yet
    now they wave at flight 444, a plane their daddy had met
    and in row 4 by the window sat daddy in seat 4
    who is hardened for war....4 hours till he settles the score
    with his pack on his back, containing all of his gear
    carrying his career, neccesities from all 4 years
    thats the past, the fight brings him to reality now.........

    ........4 rounds in the clip, another 4 magazines out
    there were 4 enemy mortars 44 yards away
    shooting 44 rounds a minute 4 hours that day
    seemingly 4 million rounds, and the enemy acted
    unphased by the 4 Marine Team's stealth tactics
    he shot his last 4 rounds with no option to reload
    took 4 steps to the left and tripped on a rock in the road
    and fell 4 feet in a hole, yelled for enemy control
    when suddenly a round from the mortar dropped into the hole
    time counts he realized, as his life flashed before his eyes
    that in possibly 4 seconds he was going to die.............
    ...........................then at 4 AM i rised to hear the phone ring
    took 4 minutes to answer, couldnt find the damn thing
    by the 4th ring a dial tone, they hung up i missed it
    when i rise, with heavy eyes, wishin i wasnt twisted
    ill say ive gone with little sleep before, seemingly a veteran,
    so medicine, 4 pills before work, will mean im feeling better then.........





    Jay-Z did 22 Two's, Canibus 33 3's, so in the same tradition........

    thats 40 lines with 44 fours........
    AKA <table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>redruM</table>

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  2. #2
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    AKA <table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>redruM</table>

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  3. #3
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    uppin for some feedback please................

    anyone?
    AKA <table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>redruM</table>

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  4. #4
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    please?
    AKA <table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>redruM</table>

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  5. #5
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    nice peice man, was rolling with the flow, and was digging the wordplay, if i had to give it a rating, i would say 8/10, hugging a 8.5, just based on the topic, the whole "4" thing was a bit of a scratchy topic, but other than that, i have seen the components in this peice that could be used to make something special.

    If you could return the favor, please leave some feed on the Open Mic link in my sig.

    Many thanks homie, peace out, and g/l to your OM's and battles in the future.

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  6. #6
    Planet of the Rapes. Evolve's Avatar
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    You know.... Jay-z did a 44 4's at his most recent concert.
    Rappers sound the same man, found 1 game plan & ran through it
    They all got that Geico flow.. Cause even a cave man can do it

    ArtificialIntelligence









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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evolve
    You know.... Jay-z did a 44 4's at his most recent concert.
    yeah i just found that out today..........oh well it was a good idea.....

    what did you think? [of mine]
    AKA <table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>redruM</table>

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  8. #8
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    I'm thinking this kind of verse is just better suited for an auido drop. Doesn;t do antyhign for me in text, kind of blan and under par. Interesting attempt though, but I think the verse should have had more impact on the reader, and profound in some sense. I rather just hear soemthing like this, because reading it just blows...

    Not an easy thing to do, so that made it interesting.

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  9. #9
    red.prose
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    Haha it was cool yo, I liked how although you were playing with that new style and shit you still managed to keep a flow and storyline working throughout. Not bad man, be cool to check a real open mic type drop from you next time, sure it would be tight.
    Abstanti.

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  10. #10
    Chop Chop Axe.'s Avatar
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    hot shit..really enjoyed eveything
    hot as flow
    it was just plain out fire
    9.3/10

    alright strucure it needed work..everything else was good
    CΛVEMEN
    Axe


  11. #11
    is in the house Facts Machine's Avatar
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    I did a 44 4's so i'm kinda mad lol.

    you can search it on this site.

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! mc pyro.'s Avatar
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    this some dope shit man liked it alot the flow was nice as hell i could hear this as an audio or even a song on the radio or somethin the storyline was cool liked it cause it had a very different feel to it the only bad thing in it was the strucure that needed some work but nice job 9/10
    leave feed on my om pureness
    hit up these om's wit some feed

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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elemental Soul`
    I did a 44 4's so i'm kinda mad lol.

    you can search it on this site.
    yeah i thought it was original............oh well i made the attempt............

    thanks everyone for the feedback.......
    AKA <table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>redruM</table>

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  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Pluto's Avatar
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    That was good i give that a 8 and a half on a scale from 1-10
    Xx PlUtO xX

  15. #15
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    This was a pretty nice piece. I liked how you were created with the dramtic drone of the fours, and I liked how you placed everything. Reading pieces like this, I expect something boring and repetitive, but the placement and wordplay in this was all good, and it kept me reading. Even though it wasn't the best, I liked the cleverness of 44 4's in here. Nice.

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