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Thread: when the devil closes his eyes

  1. #1
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    when the devil closes his eyes

    When the devil closes his eyes

    For that split-second.
    Our fears appear smeared on the brim of his heaven
    Tears steered to a near exit in pores in skins crevice
    Years of sin? Blessings. Fence built of trends, lessons,
    Grins send a clear message. Our flurry and rapture combined
    Lives become worthy. Our worries in back of our minds
    We've hurried & captured the prime. .that's been lost for the time being
    Our bodies were becoming machines. .now we live for life's meaning
    Will give despite needing. End the why's to witness a gem
    While watching the hate in the eyes diminish to hidden contempt
    Replenish a victim -less stem of young seeds in a menacing field
    Fighting off his sickening will while we are grimacing still
    This was meant to be real. Just a pacifist's wish
    To savage his wits for a strained heart and relax it a bit
    Miraculous pitch of love in ghetto's staggering ditch
    Mastered and ripped by crack, black, and blasphemous shit
    We now fathom our bliss. Losses, we've suffered some
    Where a future was only impossible because there wasn't one
    But we've stumbled on the plots of centuries and blown spots
    Now individually, there's more possibilities than long-shots
    Misery is gone not. .cuz of our own vintage, then death
    Where sincere and depth of souls is a clearer image than flesh
    We appear taken venomous steps, but now our youth glows
    When the arch in our backs are from working too hard,
    And not getting too old.
    The truth is the true goal. Where some could relate now
    Where we've stopped with the wish factors and paved a faith route
    Tear a page from the hate vows. Replaced with a gracious oath
    That he who tempts man--never phases hope
    Our brethren escapes gold and searches for silver lining
    While treasuring gifts molded from their minimal findings
    A criminal's blinded--the devil closes his eyes
    God laughs at his laziness foreboding, stolen time
    He approaches the minds of those who are in sense of help
    His winds making amends, God's reinventing Himself
    But. . . . . . . ,
    Due to the glimpses of hell being reminiscent in self
    His inch to prevail's derailed back to senselessness, wealth
    We've witnessed a vision of health, but back to its transgressions
    Cuz the devil closed his eyes- -for that split second.


    -Nique.
    AI. Legendary.
    19x HOF. Seven Titles. 50.

  2. #2

  3. #3
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    poetic and vivid i have to admit this has been slept it semas to come so natural for you id like to see a little more complexity but thats just added twist you did some hot shit here.

  4. #4
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    boom boo bap bap and then you caught me with that boom boo bap bap
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  5. #5
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    This was a beatiful piece. not in terms of presentation as structure and form do not look of priority in this work but of the content. It was simply amazing, i have no motive to give such praise but i prefer being real and telling ya instead of having "Hidden contempt" that this was a great show of skill,, Maybe written in a flurry of a moment?
    I wonder though, are you a Tupac listner?
    We now fathom our bliss. Losses, we've suffered some
    Where a future was only impossible because there wasn't one
    Maybe not your favourite line or the best one in the piece, but i believe this was an excellent piece of insight. Keep it up and try and structure your work better. Other than that it has surprisingly been a treat reading this.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  6. #6
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    rise
    AI. Legendary.
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  7. #7
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    Our bodies were becoming machines. .now we live for life's meaning

    Where a future was only impossible because there wasn't one

    When the arch in our backs are from working too hard,
    And not getting too old.
    Damn. lol. Them lines hit me. Dope drop. The rhyme scheme was dope as usual. Read smooth too. Usual to expect from Nique lol. I liked what you did with the topic. Wasn't crazy but it was real. I like real. Keep doin' ur thing.

    A.i

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  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Dope Concept
    I Really Enjoyed Reading This Piece
    Almost Everything Was On Point
    Quote Originally Posted by .Nique.
    Tears steered to a near exit in pores in skins crevice
    Years of sin? Blessings. Fence built of trends, lessons,
    ^
    Fav. Line

    Good Multis Metas, It Flowed Very Well, Easy Read
    Kinda Poetic, Not To Much I Can Say That U Need To Imrpove On On
    Overal I Would Say This Piece Was A 9

  9. #9
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    thx. and no, i rarely listen to tupac unless i'm in the mood for to listen to 'Smile' 'Dear Mama' 'Keep ya Head Up' 'brenda 's got a baby' or anything else where he puts his heart into it, but i'm not big fan in all honesty.
    AI. Legendary.
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  10. #10
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by .Nique.
    thx. and no, i rarely listen to tupac unless i'm in the mood for to listen to 'Smile' 'Dear Mama' 'Keep ya Head Up' 'brenda 's got a baby' or anything else where he puts his heart into it, but i'm not big fan in all honesty.

    I see i see, na just some times lyrics delivery felt like pac style but yeah keep up the ish
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

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