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Thread: That's How It Is

  1. #1

    That's How It Is

    Immigration and Naturalization
    working hard to exile
    my family and me out of the nation
    the united states is built on racism
    though they still want me to fight
    but fuck the patriotism
    I'm not going to listen to the senseless shit they feed to me
    telling me it's ok to bleed
    for the war in the middle east
    but its considered a crime in these streets
    Im a part of the message
    from us troubled teens
    send us a blessin cuz we stressin
    can't you see nessesary by all means
    this is stamped with urgency
    cuz my siblings back home have no currency
    and thats currently
    and now even my brother is stuck
    in a life of drugs
    and does'nt know as a thug
    your destined for a slug
    and we dont choose to be outcasts
    we live like this cuz
    we dont know how long our life will last
    so like rats we travel in packs
    cuz when you wander alone
    you find you get trapped
    by the other hungry cats
    just remember homie
    this aint the end
    cuz when we die
    we all going to heaven

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...15#post4555915
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...09#post4555909

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  2. #2
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins
    This was an aight OM, had a freestyle flow therefore the rhymescheme was neglected in many parts, the structure needs working and you have to tighten the form. Overall, this was a good piece, a good start but you are very raw right now, i see potential but i also see hard work to gain that potential.
    Keep it up

  3. #3
    ..in chains? Naw!
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    M24
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,685
    Battle Record
    5-2
    Awards SS Season Champion
    Your feedback sucked on other peoples OM's.
    Closed.
    ArtificialIntelligence
    Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton

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