Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Cigarettes...The Hidden Epidemic.

  1. #1
    bitch.
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Age
    35
    Posts
    2,114
    Battle Record
    11-25

    Cigarettes...The Hidden Epidemic.

    The future becomes fairly scary
    Everytime I take a hit off this burning cherry
    The tense suspense of cancer vents
    Which makes me wanna another hit
    Despite its essence of poision contents
    Every hour I submit to the goal of trying to quit
    I have a problem, n' im not afraid to admit
    Smoke a cig, to kill myself, what good do I get?
    Unlike weed, I get nothing out of it
    My mom didn't smoke, nor did my pops
    Im killing myself, why can't I stop
    The government watches us, n' ignores us
    The devils here on earth, n' his names Phillip Morris
    Cuz whether U smoke Marlboro, Newports, or Ultra Lights
    Cancers still going to take the same amount of fight
    Unless U quit, n' U might eventually
    U just better hope its before U start chemo therapy
    This is more than words, more than a topic
    We're giving cigs to lil kids... FUCKING STOP IT
    They havent even begun a life to hate
    Dont make them follow Ur inevitable fate
    War has killed alot, everyone knows
    But the most fatal problem is right under our nose
    If U murder someone, U get prison time for punishment
    But cigarettes have killed billions or more, n' there STILL sellin it
    They want the money, n' they don't give a shit about us
    Thats why alotta of us just say fuck it n' let the guns bust
    n' our governor asks us to stop killing each other
    Same goes to U and every gas station mother fucker
    I'm glad we're preventing Bird Flu, n' public smoking too
    But why not JUST PULL THEM FROM SHELFS U dumbass dudes
    I hate how posers be, hiding truths from U and me
    Smokings just the governments solution to poverty
    Being realistic, ill prolly never quit...n' just wind up a statistic
    But when im dead, one things for sure...
    I'll NEVER miss it.
    Last edited by Nick James...; May 28th, 2006 at 04:42 AM

  2. #2
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    j-ville florida
    Age
    44
    Posts
    5,352
    Battle Record
    7-14
    very poetic yet very street style you have great flow id like to see more punches but you got a talent just a lil on rough edges but no0 1 is perfect
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  3. #3
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    j-ville florida
    Age
    44
    Posts
    5,352
    Battle Record
    7-14
    lets collab
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  4. #4
    bitch.
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Age
    35
    Posts
    2,114
    Battle Record
    11-25

  5. #5
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    j-ville florida
    Age
    44
    Posts
    5,352
    Battle Record
    7-14
    look under yours twin
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  6. #6
    Banned Synonym's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Kingston
    Posts
    2,636
    Battle Record
    14-16
    I would say this was a pretty good piece but not alot of imagery but it did have some and it has good structure and creativity but it was only good because you lacked the creativity and it would be great if you had a bit more you really didn't have many multies but that made your verse easier too read in a sense but I still liked how you didn't strech the hell out of you lines but it was still a good drop too me but I'm a noob so what do I know right?...1

  7. #7
    bitch.
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Age
    35
    Posts
    2,114
    Battle Record
    11-25
    Thanks...

    Uppin.

  8. #8
    bitch.
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Age
    35
    Posts
    2,114
    Battle Record
    11-25
    Uppin.

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,213
    this iant too bad..imagination waz aight...structre..aight...

    but i aint seen much of your work so im geussing ur a beginner..
    but its Good tho
    The Rise And Fall Will Be My Death
    So As I Gasp For My Last Breath
    Put the Gage To My Chest
    i Gulp a Heep of Salayva In Distess
    Sound Of The Gun Cocked Wat's Next
    *Bang*
    Bullet Incarnates His Soul
    Burinin His Skin His Heart Turned Cold
    Dead In a Matter of Secounds
    MIND AND THE PEN
    Is the Greatest Weapon
    So Dont Use Gunz or Knives
    Do it If u Dont wanna Live a Life

    Made By Me

  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    228
    Battle Record
    1-0
    this peice was alright, i am a smoker myself, so i can relate to this and its so true, i think this has nice depth in it, the flow i felt was a bit choppy in areas but overall flowed good enough. couldve better better though i thought the rhyme scheme was a bit off and the structure wasent that great, but hey since when have Open Mics been about structure.. i also think its very emotional almost a poetry peice...
    anyhow good looks, keep writing and elevate son.
    7/10 good effort.

    diz

  11. #11
    bitch.
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Age
    35
    Posts
    2,114
    Battle Record
    11-25
    Thanks for the feed, and yea, I was mostly trying to reach the smokers and ones against smoking. Because whether U think its 'cool' or not, if Ur mature enough, U know its completely stupid. Look at me talking, im smokin a square right now lmao.

    Uppin.

Similar Threads

  1. Young_Chopper vs. Epidemic
    By Young_Chopper317 in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: December 18th, 2005, 08:53 PM
  2. Epidemic VS. Young_Chopper317
    By XxXEpidemicXxX in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: December 16th, 2005, 07:38 AM
  3. Cigarettes...
    By 13th Disciple in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: March 7th, 2004, 08:54 PM
  4. Epidemic of Mortality
    By Bmack in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: April 19th, 2003, 12:49 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •