Dyslexic

[sILLable]

I roll up some vapors,at my door there sits tha papers....
news portrayin displays of prison break rapists.....
only on tha cover cause tha picture's clear,for sake us...
i see print backwards,words look jumbled and smeared....
causin mumbles and tears,outkast and stumbled from beers....
inability to read brought cruel words,not even wit tha school nerds....
depression settin a simple lesson learned,to be cool absurd....
vision blurred from downin medicine,as he drowned in letters when....
called to speak in front of school,he was clowned by veterans....
feelin teathered n ripped,self respect was stripped and lost....
he sniffed tha cost,in moneys worth tha coins are tossed....
feelin he can change and gain intelligence,tha pains irrellevant....
he aint tha same he seems benevolent,his face..tha evidence....
its just so evident,his classes have him ecstatic...speach fanatic....
almost like an addict,stretched his limits out like elastic....
his improvement was drastic,so now he enters college....
his speech no longer limits him to gain tha proper knowledge.

[sILLable]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293071

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294194

[soulstice.]

nice piece..... i like the internals and the complex rhymescheme,,, it was a pretty cool story as well, though it was a little basic at some times... the vocabulary was alright as well.. flow was tight due to the internals and rhymescheme.. as stated above, its just that the story didnt develop enough.. try to lengthen your shit a bit in order to make it more interesting

hit up http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294107

[sILLable]

up........

[sILLable]

up.............

[Catastrophe]

wow.. this was the first piece i've ever read from you, and you left an amazing impression. once again, i love to see multies used, you had some, but you didnt need many with the out standing flow. your flow is probably the best i have ever seen that has made since at the same time, OUT STANDING. you had good structure as well. your 5th line threw me off because i was used to the same rhyme sound. but even if you had put a line of filler in, it still would have turned out dope. i liked your story line, it is mainly true in what happens these days. you had a good ending. keep on writing often, and check my piece with Nacho Libre.

pz

[<Supreme>]

favourite lines:
I roll up some vapors,at my door there sits tha papers....
news portrayin displays of prison break rapists.....
.................................................. ................................
inability to read brought cruel words,not even wit tha school nerds....
depression settin a simple lesson learned,to be cool absurd....
vision blurred from downin medicine,as he drowned in letters when....
called to speak in front of school,he was clowned by veterans....

this was a brilliant piece, nothin to criticize about it (apart from bit small, which made it hard to read, but tht helps the topic)
gd piece
keep up

peace

[Stupendous]

this was too short man but what you got in was quality, the imagery was pretty much perfect and powerfull too. rhyme scheme i was liking it was great, flow was on point and structure was cool too. the vocab you have is nice but you let it fall back on a couple of the lines- dont let that happen keep coming hard. the concepts were good and pretty powerfull with what you were saying in a couple of places. overall, nice drop keep them coming.

[Mic.]

yea good peice but i thought it was way too short man..
flow was nice and on point the whole way throughout.
rhymes were good and nice multies...
overall this was a nice short peice.i liked it.
keep it up.

[Idiot who stole feebles name]

his improvement was drastic,so now he enters college....
his speech no longer limits him to gain tha proper knowledge.

Really Liked That Bit, I Liked All Of It But That Stood Out. A Bit Too Short Maybe Should Of Added 4-5 More Bars But The Rhyme~Scheme Was On Point And So Was Your Flow And Structure.
Intresting Topic Never Seen It Done Before And I Felt You Did A Good Job With It.
Not Worthy Of A Drop Of The Month Nomination But If You Pick Up On Feed People Have Left You Im Sure Youll Be Up There Soon.

Good Luck Man.

[sILLable]

thanks.....up

[sILLable]

up........

[Richard Parker]

TYPE IN NORMAL FONT SO PEOPLE CAN READ IT WITHOUT STRAINING THEIR EYES


thats my advice to you.

[sILLable]

aiight...up....

[Facts Machine]

The imagery was pretty good. The rhymescheme was nice, it was complex. The piece was original and i have not seen any open mics on this topic. The emotion was def felt and you got into perspective well. Something i didn't like much was how he ended up okay and without dyslexia out of the blue... like you could have gave more reasoning and how exactly, in depth and detail, he conquered this disability. Still a nice drop.

Return the favor in my sig please... it's a link called "is it a sin to kill an insect?"