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Thread: memories of a time.....

  1. #1
    >No HaTe.......eLeVaTe!!<
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    memories of a time.....

    ~*PsYcHo*~

    i open my eyes now 109 years old and i start to remenisce the past
    it brings a tear to my eye as the memories are fading fast
    i don't now how long i have left in this empty place but my memories are there to last
    the place i once new is lost, i hope it will never return not once not never
    but that happy and sad place will keep those scenes within...... forever
    those fields of gold that i i new so well claimed so many souls
    the fields are healed now but not in my mind it will alwayz be filled with dark holes
    me and my fallen colleagues have our own history in this epic tale
    my colleagues if they are still out there somewhere they would image me so old and frail
    those people won't so different from us they did as they were told
    the government didn't tell them though that their lives had already been sold
    the government took all their lives, they took all my brothers and sisters
    you people don't really understand just what we sacraficed for you all misses and misters
    never have i seen so much owned to so few
    let me ask you a question if you had the choice to go or stay please tell me wat you would do?
    at the end of the day we were all there to die there weren't any armies or teams
    my life is over now but still i live in peaceful dreams
    i can still today hear the orchestra playing, see the flags fly so high, and hear the choir boys and girls sing
    but i'll tell you one thing my friends if i lived this life again i would'nt change one single thing!!
    .
    Last edited by ~*PsYcHo*~; May 25th, 2006 at 05:16 PM

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  2. #2
    >No HaTe.......eLeVaTe!!<
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    i really tryed lol please leave feed on where i have gone wrong.......

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  3. #3
    >No HaTe.......eLeVaTe!!<
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    plz leave feed...................

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  4. #4
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    fuk me wer u bite that frm?

  5. #5
    >No HaTe.......eLeVaTe!!<
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    what do you mean where did i bite that from ???

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  6. #6
    Banned
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    you herd

  7. #7
    >No HaTe.......eLeVaTe!!<
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    wat umean tho i bit it i didnt bite i made that up!!! wat do you think ???

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  8. #8
    Elite.-
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    this is a nice drop multi usage was str8 i would just say up your vocab a little bit make this piece a little more complex i was really diggin the title and the way it flowed... you stayed on topic some lines were stretched but i was able to catch on this was a very uniquely situated drop... Keep it up
    scytsophrenia

  9. #9
    >No HaTe.......eLeVaTe!!<
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    thanx hun!! more feed plz..........

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  10. #10
    >No HaTe.......eLeVaTe!!<
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    uppin........

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  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! mc pyro.'s Avatar
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    yo this was good really good flow and consistent with it to great job on that the concept was fine and i could see some more poetic lines in there which is always good vocab was decent i think it was better towards the middle the wordplay was nice good usage so overall good peice keep it up
    plz leave feed on my om in ma sig
    hit up these om's wit some feed

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  12. #12
    >No HaTe.......eLeVaTe!!<
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    uppin..............

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  13. #13
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    not that great, it was really basic in my eyes, the vocabulary was below average,the structure was even off, the emotion was decent, the imagery was also below average, i think you need to elevate alot, decent concept but thats all, i didnt like this,however u have potential piece
    AI

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  14. #14
    On My Murdaland Shit Arsenist3rd*'s Avatar
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    flow was good for tha most part but I felt at points u tried to force tha rhyme in vocab and creativity were decent u're strongest point was imagery and emotion that kept this peice readable keep up tha good work though
    Blow It Out U're Ass

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  15. #15
      TeK-NiK's Avatar
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    blah ... either this was bit .. or you have good topical talent!

    Your Multies & Rhyme was all good .. very complex .. the structure and flow was ite .. jus needa fixx it up a bit .. but yeh .. gud drop =/

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