turn around

[lyrically pieces]

on my way to hell but shit i got something to say,
almost always felt like shit but not like today,
in a lifetime almost half of this world doesn't see pain,
its like a never ending dream hooked on cocaine,
just a boy when i got involved with the game,
life is @ the pit so i look for someone to blame,
maybe my parents, maybe my friends,
its my fault but i can't say it so i write it in pen,
if you never fell into the pit take my advice don't do it,
cuz no friends, no family, no medicine can cure it,
once you have fallen there's no way to escape,
one day ya living it up next you digging your grave,
nothing else matters only the needle in ya vain,
its almost impossible to explain but when you don't have it you literally go insane,
un-employed, its almost always vacation,
can't get a job cuz i got no education. So i live on a bench from station to station, waitting for people to pass by and make a donation.
who am i kidding? i can no longer live like this,
that's why i'm making battles spitting with diss,
now i'm up on my feet with nothing to lose,
just determined to win with words that i use

[Wireless]

I see A LOT of room for elevation, but I like helping people get better at OM's...

First off, your lines were very choppy, and the flow was shaky..Try smoothing that out a little...Also, next time you write an OM, try to make sure your spelling is correct, and everything is worded as well as possible..Your vocabulary lacked, but it takes time to work on that...A little imagery pulled off, nothing amazing...Try using more metaphors to give it more meaning..I see a lot of improvement, but I've seen a lot of people improve steadily..Just go read a few SS verses and you'll see what I'm getting at...

[noncentz]

you have much to improve i say that cause of how basic your flow is unless it was done intensionally in which case ignore what i said.flow on the net is something you dont need to swet but here content takes a whole new level for it is the only thing you can be truly judged for as far as talent work multis punches complexity now this isnt garbage just can be done much better.