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Thread: Why not

  1. May 22nd, 2006, 04:32 AM #1
    Max.Cleveland
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    Why not

    If I got the flow, why not get the doough?
    Why not the platium verse the gold!
    Why would'nt I rap for money, its all I Know.
    You think Jigga written, just to be on the road.
    Naw not likely his flow, is way too cold.
    And like him I'ma hyphie, before I'm way too old.
    Yeah man, just like him, rip for the rolls!
    Have the whole crowd, mostly likely sipp'n moe.
    -Dollar for dollar, I'm worth every bit of the change.
    Cause I give game, on top of that I work your dame.
    You could be a lame, but play my tracks and you get brain.
    Simple I'm hot and my drops are hotter...then claimed.
    Not saying I'm the best, But I'ma nest at the game.
    So you can give it a rest, you think I aint des..tined for fame.
    The slang that I be flipp'n, yes test'n your mind.
    Put you on point tho, you able too dis..sect my rhymes.
    -Break down my line, shake down my viens you mite find.
    Why gett'n what's deserved aint a sin but clearly defined.
    Everything I got came from yapping and design.
    See me at the top know my rapping was inline.
    Know it was not talk and if I dont get its my faught.
    See cause I got the words thats fitted too get brought.
    And lyricly I admit I'm no boss, but'll get it at its cost.
    Give me a mic and a crowd and watch I get it too jump off.
    -Yeah fire shoot'n out my mouth but I'm still with out a house.
    If what I say gone get me my own, Ima spit some for the drought.
    Have some for my spouse get some from her cus she never run'n out.
    Put some up for a rainy day cause when I'm done I plan on gun'n south.
    All I want is a chance too get mines nothing more nothing less,
    Rap is just a means to a end doing what I'm known for doing fresh.
    So yes my goal is too get dough, get rich off my flow.
    Again why would'nt I? either this or I'm sell'n you dick and blow.



    Links:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293495
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293344
    Last edited by Max.Cleveland; May 22nd, 2006 at 04:55 AM
    In The Middle Of It All, I'm The One You Call, "MAX'CLEVELAND"




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  2. May 22nd, 2006, 10:42 AM #2
    DrunknMonkey
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    This piece was aiight.....The flow was good....yet the vocab was lacking.....the topic yet a bit played....you still seemed to bring forth some different aspects on things ....need more imagery .... emotion and .....vocab to make it a great piece ....maybe even some more indepth thought......overall pretty decient read.....keep it uop elevtion is the key
  3. May 23rd, 2006, 03:47 AM #3
    Max.Cleveland
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  4. May 23rd, 2006, 04:00 AM #4
    Philly B. Sparkz
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    well this was real basic. im not into the thugish typa drop on this shit....but this was aight. flow was str8. your choice of topic?!...REAL PLAYEED ALREADY...you need more originality...the guy above you and on what he just said...NAH you dont have a diffrent approach ive seen this shit done manytimes...nothing spectacular. your shit need emotion and mutlties plus vocab and emotion to form a better and more effectionate and illiterate piece of excellence.
    nice try though keep it up!
    <<The real Renegade
  5. May 23rd, 2006, 07:58 AM #5
    Arsenist3rd*
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    this drop has very little too no complexity vocab was a real issue plus creativity as well as imagery should have been elevated plus tha first ten lines r sieriously played topic multis could've made this peace a lil more positive and constructive its not horrible but far from good
    Blow It Out U're Ass

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  6. May 23rd, 2006, 10:43 AM #6
    Max.Cleveland
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  7. May 23rd, 2006, 05:21 PM #7
    Max.Cleveland
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  8. May 23rd, 2006, 08:17 PM #8
    ELEETE
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    I see you your headed in the right direction...Remember kids on here think theyre these way elevated intellectual heads...Which in terms some are genius writers, as when other just plain talk shit...In time you'll be able to see what I mean, Anyway I see you have some creativity which is good because that's a key point in writing, remember stay creative, catch the reader/listeners attention an give him shit that when he reads it/listens to it he'll stop an say "damn" Work abit on your vocabulary, an your versatility in your verses...keep at it you'll soon be on the right track...

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  9. May 23rd, 2006, 08:36 PM #9
    Forever
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    Well I see this is a played kinda concept, caught up in a self glorification and a rant. Both of then mixed together. I think you have some skills Ive seen some dudes that were straight wack on this but youre one of the better ones. I think if you focus on the concept of the verse and not the rhymes then everything will come together. Cause it sems to me that your rhymings on pint but the concept is nt what it should be. Keep at it you better then most...
    The teacher say they go to school just to flunk
    But some of them go to school just for lunch and thats life...

    -Lupe Fiasco

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  10. May 23rd, 2006, 08:49 PM #10
    Forever
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293835

    Feedback on this would be appreciated...
    The teacher say they go to school just to flunk
    But some of them go to school just for lunch and thats life...

    -Lupe Fiasco

    Open Mic's

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  11. May 23rd, 2006, 11:44 PM #11
    Max.Cleveland
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    thinks for the feed thank yall
    In The Middle Of It All, I'm The One You Call, "MAX'CLEVELAND"




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  12. May 24th, 2006, 10:51 PM #12
    Max.Cleveland
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  13. May 25th, 2006, 01:28 AM #13
    Chrit.
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    This was basic as shit...
    No real thought behind it...

    You need to write with a purpose kiddo, this was alot of words, but you didnt say anything. You need to work on that.

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  14. May 25th, 2006, 06:01 PM #14
    Max.Cleveland
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  15. May 26th, 2006, 08:32 PM #15
    Max.Cleveland
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