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Thread: Stress Management for the Insane...

  1. #1
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Stress Management for the Insane...

    Stress Management for the Insane...

    I’ve used my pool as a toilet for the past several weeks…
    Didn’t take long to soil it and make my own shit creek.
    The fumes are overwhelming and neighbors beg of me…
    To seriously think about selling, but I strongly disagree.
    I swim in the bile of my bowels, gather strength from it…
    You won’t throw in the towel if you’re used to life being shit.
    I practice rafting empty handed, no oars for extra hassle…
    Cuz we all end up stranded…you know…minus a fuckin paddle.
    I handle the refuse of my rectum as food, I live the cliché…
    Since life is one of those sandwiches you take a bite of everyday.
    I’m sprayed with muck; rigged the sprinkler to the pool and began…
    To see how life sucks when you’re on the wrong side of the fan.
    I know it sounds insane…my habitual ritual of feces…
    But it braces me for pain every time I squeeze cheese.
    Cuz sure enough I keep it coming, just like life does to a soul…
    So I just relax with poolside sunning, wearing SPF Cornhole.

    The End

    My links are...
    I just read all 11 HoF verses and posted them...
    There's my links for this one.

  2. #2
    Banned detremental.'s Avatar
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    This was iight. I liked how you compared life to shit. I can relate because my life isn't the greatest either. This piece was simple but hit it's point. good work. The vocabulary was there as well as the multi's. flow was good and also the structure was ok. keep it up. and can you leave some feedback on the the OM Gettin Ready For War in my sig please.

  3. #3
     
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    I’m sprayed with muck; rigged the sprinkler to the pool and began…
    To see how life sucks when you’re on the wrong side of the fan.
    Man, just wow. One of the shortest pieces I've seen from you, yet you still amaze me with 8 bars. This was such a moving piece, and very easy to relate to. It seems as if the person you are decribing, whether it be you or another person, is undergoing plenty of hard times and cant get away from them. Very good concepts, great read, just great.

    Leave feed when you get the chance:

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292338

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  4. #4
    too good to be true
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    Dope shit born. Insane how much u can pull out and how creative u can be in such a short verse. Nice metaphors here too. I like the life is a sandwhich line, creative. I always like reading ur shit, and this here was a dope read.

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=291054

  5. #5
    Banned Big C.'s Avatar
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    i liked this...short but still really tight..
    imagery was here...nice flow throughout.
    rhymes were good and structure was even
    overall this was a tight peice.i liked it..

  6. #6
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Thank you, peeps...

    Ba dum bump!

  7. #7
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    This was a pretty different look on issues and life. you literally embodied the phrase "Life is shit", overall the imagery i.e. metaphores, description etc was good and this was a pretty good verse. A lil more lenght wouldn't have done no harm; but yeah that's up to you, pretty good keep at it.

    Preciate it if you could leave comments on this OM:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292317
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  8. #8
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    You placed the full impact on such a short drop.....This was a True Master Piece....
    It flowed well and you played life's topics well...Although the Vocab didn't make me scream It still played it's role in turning this in to a great overall piece...Good shit BTK keep it up

  9. #9
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Thanks again!

  10. #10
    dreadedfistofthenorthwest
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    i liked this piece man. nice topic and comparison ahah. made me laugh in places b. the flow was tight and came consistent. you were able to stay on point with the meaning and topic i admire that. the lyricism was good i thought a bit simple in places. (still better most some cats here) the metaphors were dope and made it near impossible for readers to stop readin the shit. i really enjoyed this piece man. audio material..only with the right beat. for real. overall ill give you a 9/10 for this. very few mistakes in this man for real. peep my om's if you get a chance son.

    -Peace
    Last edited by -IsIs-; May 16th, 2006 at 10:16 PM
    The R.
    -The Illest Ever Kid-

  11. #11
    Destiny
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    i could easily feel the deeper meaning of the verse. excellent metaphor of what it feels to be in the crappy part of life. I especially liked how you made metaphor become literal. usually people grace the style with a mere line or two instead of a whole verse, but either way, you did the technique justice with this verse. i'm sure we can all relate to managing stress in this 'insane' way. great job man, good to see you're still writing dope.

    hit my piece up when you see it.

    peACE


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