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Thread: Toy Soldier

  1. #1
    too good to be true
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    Toy Soldier

    Pops on crack with a sufferin past
    I dream in black and white, the world color me bad
    Other than sad, painful and stress
    Life is good with the webs that, tangle with death


    Death and blood is desired, in the eyes of liar
    Gats fired, in attempts of bringing their enemies to a higher
    ..Ground, sound rumbling, earth shattering pain
    The feelings insane, when lead and metal penetrates the brain
    Nothing remains, of the shooters.. the rapers, robbers, and looters
    While kids and teens worship me through radio waves and computers
    There was nothing I could say to suit her, we were in da club like 50
    She tried to hit me and missed me, I broke free, and she kissed me
    Found the key, to her heart, we danced the night away
    She wanted to stay, I said nay, we had no more time to play
    And as we walked to gather our belongings, a feeling hit
    I took a sit and argued with myself whether or not to get
    ..My gun out, I heard a shout and stood up looking for the Source
    My mag, both the gun and 'zine, looked at my homie and said of course
    He was chillin, feeling on some honeys, making money
    Bizzare, was there too mackin' on chicks, actin' funny
    Alcoholic level was risin' with each hit, a bit more and i was finished
    Bitches beggin' for autographs, their ideas of me diminished
    I decided to leave, dry heaves were already coming on
    Dawn was coming, I yawned, and learned my girl was gone
    I headed outside when that same feeling of fear hit again
    It triggered thoughts of sin, I said a little prayer, amen
    My nigga came with me, forreal son, the kids a G
    Probobly besides Slim and them the only niggas to really miss me
    And as I stepped outside, people screamed there they are
    Bam* Bam*.. direct shots aimed at both me and Bizzare
    The toy soldiers came tumbling down, without a sound
    Resulted in the death of me but luckily my nigga just hit the ground
    Atleast he was found, we all now know the truth
    But that day the shooter got away with murder..
    ...I guess the world didn't need any Proof

    Pops on crack with a sufferin past
    I dream in black and white, the world color me bad
    Other than sad, painful and stress
    Life is good with the webs that, tangle with death

    -Proof

    R.I.P.
    October 2, 1973 – April 11, 2006

  2. #2
    too good to be true
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    Last edited by Automatic.; May 7th, 2006 at 08:31 PM

  3. #3
    Banned detremental.'s Avatar
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    Damn, this was serious.
    .
    .
    .
    R.I.P Proof
    .
    .
    .
    I never thought of someone taking the onlook that night and turning it into this. good work man. this piece is beautiful. The imagery was good as well as the flow and structure. You also had multi's that were there as well. Great work on an overall standard. keep it up man.

    Can you leave feed on the OM in my sig. It's called Crying Soul.

  4. #4
    Banned detremental.'s Avatar
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    Just to let you know, you need two links man.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Mah bad. I see you posted the second one.
    Last edited by detremental.; May 7th, 2006 at 08:33 PM

  5. #5
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Awards LLL HOF PS Champion/IE Champion Legendary OM Legendary Member SS Season Champion SS HW Champion OM HOF FL Champion 200+ Wins Haiku Season Champion
    aw man. sad ..it was a hott way to represent the topic. i've never thought about doing this before, it's a nice way to show people/tell them what happened. your details were limited but it's hard to say what exactly happened with everyones opinions. i liked the beginning and end, those were most illustrated on the goings on around the people. the middle was more of the emotion of proof, it was deep. good job auto, decent read. R.I.P. ...

    !Nash - hit "..In Memory" on front page of OM ..or second

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290443
    Last edited by Cody Nash; May 8th, 2006 at 12:48 AM

  6. #6
    too good to be true
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    ok cool thanks for the feed its much appreciated.

    ill hit up the links when i have time, but dont worry, if u leave a link ittl get hit up.

    rise

  7. #7
    You won't win.
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    I read alot of OM's and this was one i enjoyed to read, the way you did it around the whole proof thing was unique, and never have i seen someone do it like this.

    Favorite Part

    And as I stepped outside, people screamed there they are
    Bam* Bam*.. direct shots aimed at both me and Bizzare
    The toy soldiers came tumbling down, without a sound
    Resulted in the death of me but luckily my nigga just hit the ground
    Atleast he was found, we all now know the truth
    But that day the shooter got away with murder..
    ...I guess the world didn't need any Proof

    ^ I thought that was dope, sounded almost professional..really like that last bar, and the metaphore was a nice touch. I also liked teh way you started and ended, nice choice. I think the reason i liked it was because of the emotion of proofs death,a nd how it happened, and how you keep a consistant flow throughout. Good Job.

  8. #8
    too good to be true
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    Thanks, I hit up all OMs.

    Rise

  9. #9
    Banned
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    i liked this......rhymes were good......multies were nice..topic was interesting...fllow was smooth throughout this whole peice...vocab and complexity were definately here..good job on that.....structure was nice and creativity was here..i liked this peice..keep it up.peace~

  10. #10
    too good to be true
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    Dope

  11. #11
    too good to be true
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    Rise

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    it was nice vocab flow was nice imagery was really good a sad story opened up fresh wounds. very nice maybe HoF material i liked it keep writting i see why u got ur in goood crews with drops like these

    hit my om Forbiden Desire

  13. #13
    too good to be true
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    cool thanks

  14. #14
    The Beat Of Philly QaaHolic's Avatar
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    good shit keep it up
    Wicked Wicked Wicked


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  15. #15
    UGK
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    this is ILL.

    i enjoy'd the flow and what not, but seriously, i think this would be dope behind a beat. like, the flow was 'rill ILL and i could see me bumpin this for the homie proof. dope 'ish Auto.

    'nother thing is, i peeped this and its ironic. like, 2 weeks ago or so, i recorded a dedication track to Proof over the "Toy Soldiers" instrumental. hit me up if ya eva wanna hurr it. pz and keep droppin like this. also, if u have a mic, maybe u could be the other peep i need for that audio. pz.

    -untold

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