.. In Memory
By: Nash
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This, is directed toward that fun woman which we do miss
.. on forwards to that one relative you wish you could kiss
you list all the hate, you debate with Jesus, you scream ..
.. such a perfect woman it seemed, doing only good things
.
God hurts me, he lurks acrossed me ..he doublecrossed me
.. sometimes i feel like converting and that you've lost me
i use to lick the frosting, off the spoon after her cooking ..
i'm searching, for your reasoning ..i'm looking but i've cried
desperatley searching for reasoning behind this dead life ..
GOD WHY! ..such a perfect person, when i've sinned more
.. what's this life for, if you strip us furthermore then gone
it's seems so wrong, but then you punishing me for so long
starts to make me redeem myself and think more about ..
how my optimistic self moralitys are changing without doubt
my world vomits outwards on my face, spewing hatred fast
feel like kicking my own ass, parents are divorced, at last ..
.
i see SOME sign of evaporation of her death in the opperation
i begin to free the happieness and greet back her salutation
but the explanations begin to fly inside my mind, so i pray
CANCER? oh God please, say there's gott'a be another way
i cry throughout the day, i'm doubting any signal with rations
my face is a wreck i imagine. i'm pacing in a horrible fashion
my racing mind is retorical, it aint lastin'. lifes crashin down
every single sound, hits the ground in manners profound ..
brown turns to a beautiful color. black and white seem great
while as fate makes sparkling neon colors show up too late
the debate with breathing finally out lasted her hearts beating
and i just start screaming for someone to stop the bleeding
doctors still relaxing impatiently, "Oh son, that's normal there."
"Man, i could give less of a care." all around are formal stares
mines the least flamboyant of anyones there, i'm prepared ..
i run scared to the other room. where i stashed the 'fun' ..
put it to my 13 year old head, & pulled the trigger on the gun
.
it was a dead on shot. but strange how i rot, never made it
in a world more under rated than before, i felt so sedated ..
i felt belated to heaven, i was no where near. but where i fear
lay right here beside the side of my body where i lie dear ..
.
Satan, the devil, the juggornaut of the underworld. unfirled
his wrath and mighty world upon my body ever so curled ..
relentless hurling and whirling agression of forein objects ..
without discretion, parental advisory, adolecent projects ..
what's next?
an iron fist, just about to hit but missed. i felt a touch ..
.. such a touch that i felt a strand of luck, i felt SO much
Grandma, such glow, her beauty was there. she had her hair
i felt so ashamed and unprepared when i saw her stand there
.
A battle of all battles, broke loose. Grandma so dearly refused
to lose a grandson again, even with a Satanic look so amused
he grinned and fused his energy together, so obtuse i fell ..
hell wanted me still, to be there with him in the firey pitted well
then she'd stopped to TELL this demon what seemed to be ..
.. she offered her body, her soul ..her heaven, to replace me.
.
So again i say, this is In Memory, of a loved one. i was just a kid
oh, and when my grandma died. . .everyone in the family did.
Links ..
My Friend? - 40Grams
Never Let You Down - David Lama
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