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Thread: Segregated Something

  1. #1
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    Segregated Something

    Writers Note- Im taking this back to times when segregation was huge and everyone was fighting their hardest against it im taking it back in my own mind my own words didnt know what to call it so segregated something did it for me.. written from a males POV..... put yourself in an African Americans position during this time and feel this...









    Black print white writing?
    Skin is skin there's no reason for fighting
    Deprived of rights based on our ethnicity
    This pain will never end and there's no convincing me
    Sorrow has entered our polluted society
    Pain in different varieties bound with instances of impropriety
    On the inside i want to scream but my lips dont split
    I was taught to keep my mouth shut to avoid being hit
    But the worse thing during my time was a black man with wit
    How? No textbook history... its as common as a caveman's pit
    These white walls are talkin' I swear i can hear them
    Telling me your genetration will overcome this, though ingnorance is present theres no need to fear him
    Complex it may seem but simply its not, amount of respect given is basically not a lot
    Segregation, racism it seems as if the pits of hell is where I rot
    This pain and misery will someday end but until then it's all i've got
    Does color really matter... its just a facade
    Times are so hard right now only person left to turn to is God
    The way we think it's quite similar there's no black and white brain
    Yellow sunshine grey rain.... there's no black or white pain
    So why is everything so segregated when feelings are the same
    We're walking blind-sighted with legs of the lame
    Christ died for our sins but it couldn't possibly be this
    He promised a better tomorrow an eternities bliss not this unending unhappiness
    Even now the world converses about Jesus being black or was he white
    Skin color doesn't matter when we all fight the same fight
    Who on this earth doesn't battle with sin
    Struggling with demise to find the person within
    Power is dangerous when put into the wrong hands
    From being whipped on our backs to segregated lands
    Why does the feeling of sorrow over-whelm me
    Triumph between different races ending so violently
    Decieved by the devil's plan that is conceived
    40 acres and a mule but misery is what was recieved
    The only difference in my eyes is personality
    Establishing morality declining your nationality
    Black and white though the colors are different there's one similarity
    The heart that beats inside our chest brings back prosperity !


    A wise man had a dream now live in reality
    Live for the future visual modality
    Life is precious dont bring others down
    And pray that this segregated something doesn't happen a second time around



    Links:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...948#post4364948
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...957#post4364957
    Last edited by AngelHaze; April 25th, 2006 at 06:31 PM
    scytsophrenia

  2. #2
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    Although I loved the whole thing baby girl, the part that really stands out to me is

    A wise man had a dream now live in reality
    Live for the future visual modality
    Life is precious dont bring others down
    And pray that this segregated something doesn't happen a second time around


    because its like a life quote to live by, and that deserves some recognition. Good drop and the topic is on point, I aint really seen anyone get on somein like this..good job once again.

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  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ~Sequential~'s Avatar
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    I loved it!!!

    I would've liked to see more descriptiveness of the time period

    But you definintly kept me interested the whole way through with the way it flowed together and your wording

    You got a gift ma.........thanks 4 the good read
    ~LAYIN' MC's DOWN IN ORDER~

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  4. #4
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    thankz u 2..... upz
    scytsophrenia

  5. #5
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    I liked this in the same way that I like to hear Old heads in the hood speak knowledge, cause it's nothing but real. I was feeling your depth and the rhymes were good too, I thought the flow could have been a little better but it dosn't take away from the good things about this piece. It's an un-original topic from a modern perspective and I like that. Keep makin' it dope.

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  6. #6
    Banned Killa Tim's Avatar
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    It was pretty good I liek the whole verse you came pretty neat with it and if you add a little more stuff in it and keep making that shit dope it would be hott as fuck

  7. #7
    Ennnhh what up doc Sin~A~Matic's Avatar
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    Greta job babyimagery was at it's fullest very nice gurl I enjoyed this part the best


    A wise man had a dream now live in reality
    Live for the future visual modality
    Life is precious dont bring others down
    And pray that this segregated something doesn't happen a second time around


    keep ay it gurl

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  8. #8
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    upz!
    scytsophrenia

  9. #9
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    upz!
    scytsophrenia

  10. #10
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    nice piece yo. was worded with clarity. thus being easy to follow. and u def dumped emotion heavily on this joint.....a couple of lines seemed a tad stretched..rhymes was ok. could be developed more tho. was a good flowing song still.... vocab decent in any case........overall structure worked out good. yeah u dropped with meaning and purpose


    keep doing yo thing

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  11. #11
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    upz!
    scytsophrenia

  12. #12
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    pretty good piece looks good alot of imagery and clarity nothing bad i can really say you will get alot better with time asd long as you keep writing because the longer you write the more witty ideas you will come up with.

  13. #13
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    upz!
    scytsophrenia

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