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Thread: The Never Ending Fairytale

  1. #1
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    The Never Ending Fairytale


    The Never Ending Fairytale


    With a glint of arrogance the creator marvelled over his latest feat
    of marbled meat w/a hint of innocence carved over his great deceit



    Our plate replete w/fabrications wove in the fabric of which we think
    Revelations script in ink, an exhortation of truth his creations seek
    Foundations breached by conscience thought & the science sought
    Defiance taught through the wars we've fought & onslaughts brought
    by wicked men turned hot by the conflict of fires waged deep within
    Convicts & friars enslaved by strokes of midnight madness called sin
    Twilight creeps in & allows for the madness to vanish on calm winds
    Kicked up by gentle whispers of a mothers nature in psalms hymned
    Shimmering droplets of morning sweet dew bead on windows of reality
    Glimmering goblets of mourning sweep through on winds of normality
    To live is to die on this orb of brutality, questions aimed at the sky
    Fists clinched, tears pouring from sullen eyes tremblingly ask "Why?"

    "Why?"


    The creator laughs in thunderous crackles,
    ...of harnessed energy
    "You are but a farmed entity engineered for the sole,
    ...purpose of entertaining me"

    Explaining me through your religious concepts,
    ...a cons text taken out of context
    a complex fairytale produced to control subjects,
    ...induced like controlled substance
    to enhance fourfold the facade you've been sold,
    ...in stories imprinted in bold
    embossed on rice papers and bound leaflets of gold,
    ...passed down by the ancients of old
    my patience erodes as the roads of time unwind,
    ...the patients I bio-chemically mold
    behold, the master of puppets & you're the bastard,
    ...children of a loveless fling
    mere puppets on strings

    "Why?"

    "Do not your scientist insist on dabbling in genetic sifts,
    ...of coded information driving rifts
    through the fabric of a nations swiftly slipping grips?"

    ...Gripping binary scripts
    of your species dimly lit bon fires of burning wit
    ...while churning grit
    w/a mechanism of processed bits. Thoughtless glitch?
    ...or a God sent gift on the wings,
    of a heartless bitch who sings in carbon blocks
    ...synched to atomic clocks linked
    to a creators smock succinct in encryption locked
    ...deep in the building blocks
    of a common stock, laid in path of a comets stop
    ...on the third rock of an orbiting nine
    brilliantly propped on the backdrop of space and time
    ...wondering minds refine vast lines
    of instructional sets and biological reference in text

    "Next?"

    Perplexed by logical preference & vexed by convoluted chapters in text
    Specs of both sex elude mans lewd pursuit of common vectors, except
    where tales were told the very veil bestowed upon the ancients of old
    portrayed a 'Deity in Robe' who created the globe in seven days, it is told
    in many ways to comfort you on rainy days & shelter you from empty ways
    Truth is your GOD does not exist and the very reason your tribes persist
    Is because I engineered you with an Iron fist contrived in the midst of war
    with fits of gore and a blood thirsty warriors core poured over flesh, tore
    from the carbon fabrics we harvest from Europas livid oceanic floors
    You're but a petri dish of amusement in the grandiose scheme of all things
    created in the rightful name of advanced science by advanced beings
    labeled & sorted in pristine halls of universal records & informative wings

    ...Created by me, the engineer of new things, your way of life is fabricated
    in laboratories
    situated on rings of a planet your machines have only seen...


    A never ending fairytale told to each new species in a growing archive
    blowing smoke on our cries for divine intervention and hope for our lives



    :The Never Ending Fairytale:

    told on countless worlds... in countless tongues...


    By: Bounce

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  2. #2
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Replied to much more than 2 OM's.

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  3. #3
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    GOT DAMN AT YOUR vocab use it was nice as hell im loving it well this whole om is great really nothen bad about it loving the whole concept.Great read keep me reading nice shit man nice got any tips to make Om's like yours


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    Originally Posted by Bounce
    do what I do, get high and just type...

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  4. #4
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Thanks...

    As far as tips, I would suggest never going witht he first ideas that come to mind when working out a concept. I spend more time thinking of an angle to take on the topic than I do on the actual write. If the idea is something anyone would have thought of right off the bat, then I ditch that thought and move on. Also, you need to have a good grasp on the devices used in writing, and a good balance as far as scheme, structure and complexity go. If you have a indepth concept, you better do it justice by creating an intellectual atmosphere in your verse. The tone you set will be critical to any verse, this alone can cost you votes in a battle. Next, be well read and use diction to your best advantage. Or do what I do, get high and just type...

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  5. #5
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    Its like played out as a story im thinking... The wordplay was right on its key, I really like the Rhymes to it, Went very well with the flow n stuff
    I think(in my opinioin)
    Shimmering droplets of morning sweet dew bead on windows of reality
    Glimmering goblets of mourning sweep through on winds of normality
    Not just these too lines but like others too.
    All those words match and rhyme. Thats like dope to the max. I like it-
    How long did it take you?

  6. #6
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~G~
    Its like played out as a story im thinking... The wordplay was right on its key, I really like the Rhymes to it, Went very well with the flow n stuff
    I think(in my opinioin)
    Shimmering droplets of morning sweet dew bead on windows of reality
    Glimmering goblets of mourning sweep through on winds of normality
    Not just these too lines but like others too.
    All those words match and rhyme. Thats like dope to the max. I like it-
    How long did it take you?
    30-35 minutes or so... The concept took days to think up, but writing was a snap. I don't know about the story being played, never once seen a topical take this approach, well none with any detail or substance. I know damn well no one else took the astrobiology angle I played here, the whole reference to harvesting precursors on Europa is key to this verse and creeps into the realms of astrobiology.

    Thanks for taking the time man...

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  7. #7
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    lmao at the do what i do get high and write yeah im siggen that but got another question.

    Would It be good to like work out a Idea Web before writing about the whole topic,say i come up with a great topic then i write like 5 ideas that plays along with the topic would it be good use to make a good story for the reader to grasp good on?


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    Originally Posted by Bounce
    do what I do, get high and just type...

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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bounce
    30-35 minutes or so... The concept took days to think up, but writing was a snap. I don't know about the story being played, never once seen a topical take this approach, well none with any detail or substance. I know damn well no one else took the astrobiology angle I played here, the whole reference to harvesting precursors on Europa is key to this verse and creeps into the realms of astrobiology.

    Thanks for taking the time man...
    Nooo
    Not played"
    played=Setup like a story

    Yea. anyway

  9. #9
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    lol, anyways...

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  10. #10
    ..in chains? Naw!
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    From the off, very good concept. Nice take on it all. I liked the change in styles, and you executed the topic well, man. This was more of a topic mixed with a story, and thats why in some parts it seemed a little vague to me. Not to take anything away from the piece itself, because I really liked reading it. Life could be a matrix, and the idea of one story being told a thousand times, just in different ways, is something that would interest anyone. Once again the mechanics of your piece were on point all the way through. Another read that captivated me.. dope, Bounce.
    Give a read to my latest piece when its up.
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  11. #11
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    this was good....nice vision and emotion.....vocab was good flow was well.....keep it upo homes.........................
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  12. #12
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    yo you went into so much detail i forgot most of it by the time i was done with this peice. it was the best om i've read form you bounce. you had emaculate vocab an flow an you had multis an meta's in this too. you like a damn modern day shake spear with a twist of vandough i think thats his name i'm not sure but if you know who i'm talkin about thats good. you do somethin different every time you write. i know i can't write like you but i do shit pretty good the way i do it. but ain't the idea of doin an om to do it where other peeps can relate to what you sayin. thats what i always thought. but could check out my om (remember it's nothin like yours it's not into great detail an vocab ain't there) here it is.
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=278878

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    Dope Lethal Lyricists
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    this my boo.......guess who it is

  13. #13
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    I'm not looking to hit anyone other than my target audience, if the rest can not relate, or understand, that is not my concern. I dumb shit down on RB a bunch, but this peice was writen for a very worthy opponent, and the direction taken was stratigic for that battle. It's grounded in a particular field of science, yet written losely enough to cover the topic. Astrobiology, as in a search for lifes origins outside of the traditional theories, where my opponent I thought would have taken a religious approach. I have a background in the area, and wrote it from that perspective. I threw in the style change for those I knew would need a break from the heavy use of complex metaphors and vocab and gave them some blistering flow, just to change it up. It's hard to tell such an involved story in a topical format, so the use of metaphorical devices are crucial...

    Thanks for taking the time...

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  14. #14
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    Its trully brillaint, like honestly there is not one person i can compare your writing...you write with an intelligence which nobody can fake...basically getting away from the depth of yoru overall topic....just the intensity of writing you have with placement of vocab,wordplay, internals, multies..etc You take no one line lightly, and thats what i gawk at in ur writing everything is so real.....as for the overall topic, like you said it shows that the topic is the most important thing..and the way you take it..cuz nobody wants to read something that is similiar to another...and you do an amazing job of staying away from that.....you make the readers expand there horizons, and actually get something out of what your saying....its almost as you grow smarter reading it....your emotion and imagery are greatness you do place it all down without effecting nething else in your piece..it all fits together so well....

    I honestly liked this piece more then your last week ss drop....just was very vivid in my eyes


    FAVORITE LINES:


    Explaining me through your religious concepts,
    ...a cons text taken out of context
    a complex fairytale produced to control subjects,
    ...induced like controlled substance
    to enhance fourfold the facade you've been sold,
    ...in stories imprinted in bold
    embossed on rice papers and bound leaflets of gold,
    ...passed down by the ancients of old

    ^^LOVED IT..




    "barbaric brilliance"

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=272180

    ^^Bounce if you could hit that OM up for me...that would be great (cuz i got good responses..but would like to see what you have to say)

  15. #15
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Thank you for the kind words... Peep your thread, I left some things for you in there...

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