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Thread: Barbaric Brilliance (NoSleeping)

  1. #1
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    Barbaric Brilliance (NoSleeping)

    First of all, this was a piece for a topical piece however it was much shorter, i liked writing itso much i decided to add on to all 3 parts..also for those who say i have stretched lines, its my style i like putting a lot into each line so u can get a lot out of the piece..juss how i write ENJOY.




    Villians of brilliance overpower civilian minds, seekn to reign
    taking millions of lives with murderous ideas breathin of pain
    creating a change psychotic thoughts swell a furocious beast
    devestating ideas turn 2 reality as ongoing casualties slowly increase
    attrocious acts of powerful rulers abide by no rules of revenge
    after an unlawful report we see evil,they see it as a days end
    simple minded people we are mostly never endure the time
    we look into what the media has to say but never the mastermind
    Ideas juicing inside cruel masterminds who put these tactics aboard
    attractin horror worse then before as these obscene antics press forth
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    June 1941 a year that stunned everyone was it genius or chilling news
    a miliatary mastermind turning a country astray killing millions of jews
    religion turnd against you by murderous ideas attacted on by all cost
    brillaintly evil Adolf Hitler made ideas reality by creating the halocaust
    taking away from society sweating out slavery that was wrong and sick
    but think of the strong authority 1 possessd 2 make them go along with it
    1865 slavery turns over abolished days over yet some feel hate with in um
    races debate between'um,knowin slavery is ended only 2 create racism
    all is not lost yet freakish ideas torment the world again this is evident
    intentions were present when the presence of killers shot our presidents
    devilish degrees snuck apon lincoln shot in silence life is what cost him
    minds tossed this while kennedy told us to keep our heads, he lost his
    wars created because of beliefs and unlawful acts that enemies attract
    then enemies attact creating world wars,civil wars,to the war in iraq
    onlookers see deadly times,so consisent turning to boring headlines
    or mourning signs nobody thinks of the generals or intelligen war minds
    that design attacks 2defend morality in belief of countires immortality
    baffles me to look past it when teenagers see it and fight for their family
    cruel inventive brains live through pain unmask awful rages of change
    from past evil to the current insane ones of binladin & suddam hussein
    Chilling the spine ideas killing lives shockd stilling time of devastation
    days shouldnt be terrorizd by terrorists attacking signs of our nation
    tenacious minds pland 4 yrs to drain the u.s of our noted selfish powers
    barbaric intelligence pland death sent by air demolished the twin towers
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    Behind the tears inside the fears you will see shadows of horrible smarts
    masters of evil tare us apart,with an idea of death before it even starts
    history inbeds a path of intelligent ppl who weve tried to keep in the dark
    yet were here talkin about them today,i guess they have made there mark
    ungreatfull evil with out a doubt however plans seem to intrigue us all
    ignorance swells us we believe another wont rize when we see one fall
    some believe brilliance only does good, how wrong and dont believe us
    when each day a baby is born who someday may posses these evil ideas
    ......Sadly Impressive......
    Killer ideas are correctly worded; simply amazing thoughts made deadly
    2day hearts heavy knowin killer ideas r alrready proving master'minds'...
    ....................are not empty





    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...45#post3957145
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...36#post3957536
    Last edited by Spekz; February 13th, 2006 at 10:08 PM

  2. #2
    Definite Definition .:VoKab:.'s Avatar
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    Wow..I was really feeling this, I actually read it twice...Your structure was great,Vocab was outstanding,Rhyme scheme was very, very impressive..I love this piece,I was really feeling the ending...

    Killer ideas are correctly worded; simply amazing thoughts made deadly
    2day hearts heavy knowin killer ideas r alrready proving master'minds'...
    ....................are not empty

    ^^That was dope just to top everything off at the end I thought that was great..

    devilish degrees snuck apon lincoln shot in silence life is what cost him
    minds tossed this while kennedy told us to keep our heads, he lost his

    ^^^I was really feeling this line too..



    Overall Great Drop...Ill be lookin for some more of your stuff in the future...pz
    .:Battle:.

  3. #3
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    Thank you very much for putting the time&effort to leave a respectable reply, a greatly appreciate it!...Thank you again
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    Last edited by Spekz; February 13th, 2006 at 12:47 AM

  4. #4
    Mythical
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    Great drop Spekz, you're definately showcasing your talent in this piece. Your use of vocab was fantastic, with it you were able to make me visual the events as I read it. The flow was consistant, but there were just a couple of things. Nothin big, but your grammar and rhymes were just a little skitchy in some areas.

    Your talent still dominates in this piece. I'll be watching for another drop.

  5. #5
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    Thank you for the very good response!, so far so good OM peeps! lol.....keep the feedback a popping

    thanks myth!

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  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! schizmatic's Avatar
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    Very nice piece here, some complex shit I didn't even understand some words in it lol. Well Im no good at leaving feed on OMs but from what I see here its some very nice work. You sound very intelligent, and you know what your doing. Wish I could write something like that. All I can do is whore people in battles


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=272190

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    Shiz thanx for leaving feedback lol its greatly appreciated whether ur a topical head or not, (in ur case not lol j/p), but ne good word is exactly what i like to see so thank you very much for putting efforts forth!

    keep this ish comin

  8. #8
    Blessed. Tae Profit's Avatar
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    im too sleepy to read that shyt now, but imma drop sum feed 2morro cuz i know its dope, holla

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    The Vatican...

  9. #9
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    ^alright that is fine, *waits for his feedback lol*

    upping noticed yall were sleeping a bit..

    so upping 4 the bookz

  10. #10
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    upping foolz............................................. ...........

  11. #11
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    Strong, but...

    "Brilliantly evil Adolf Hitler' seems childish to me, just does, I don't know...Falls out of the main plain strong rhyme topic, there's no need to mention names when it's known exactly what you're talkin' bout, you know what I mean? Just a 'brilliant evil' would be better, IN MY OPINION, though, man.
    Same about Saddam and Ben Laden.

    Behind the tears inside the fears you will see shadows of horrible smarts
    masters of evil tare us apart,with an idea of death before it even starts

    ^And that is superb, ma' man. Keep that up.

    8.8/10

    Peace

    Krit!cal

  12. #12
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    i appreciate ur constructive critisism however i dont think mentioning names of the brilliant minds hurts the piece...i think it inhances the overall concept because i am talking of brillaint minds and actions of terrible things and they are some most talkd bout...but i understand what ur saying!

    thank you krit...

    keep upz

  13. #13
    Mikey B
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    phenomenol..........
    excellent vocab--and i liked how u played on some words.....be a bit more creative and have a better structure...

    otherwise nice

    plz hit up a link in my sigg---......----

  14. #14
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    Thanks for the feedback.....

    ...ill hit ur ish up here in quick minute!

    kepp the feedback on the down pour......

  15. #15
    old york
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    Beautiful dude.I felt this piece alot.It had some much emotion,and it was pretty deep,it lacked soe imagery though and maybe because of the choice of words you chose.Also i thought the vocab was ok,but i loved the flow and the way you executed this piece off well.I liked the begining alot,becauas eoyu came with a stright up multie attack.ou had alot of those throughout the piece,andi also enjoyed this easy read since it had some much emotion.

    over all pretty good piece.

    Pz.
    hurterrybody.

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