User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: My Frankenstein

  1. #1
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Looprevil.
    Age
    38
    Posts
    3,541
    Battle Record
    1-0

    My Frankenstein

    My Frankenstein.
    Siege and Issue

    Dr. Terrence McCormick (The Creator.)
    "...It was the dead of night, silent, my heart was vibrant, beating verociously.
    Stepped into the light trying to revive this ghost, potions, devoted hopelessly.
    Cola bottles and caffiene, no sleep, knowing you were my dream, but to keep,
    I leaned into your ear as if to speak and peered inside, it was bleak and dried,
    Brainless, painless, seemingly weakening to remain alive, acres of free mind,
    All mine... Blind, taken in the prime, but, senile prematurely, such gory files of glory,
    A war hero, a news story. A fallen zero, boozed to the core, al bino, pure,
    Free now, Kimo destroyed and cancer employed three-fold, forcing you to flee,
    Cold, old and unique, bold, but, couldn't speak. A freak, a tank, a monster, bleak,
    Blank, pondering defeat in the back of a honda, you stepped out, rose to you feet,
    Gravity was stronger, you dropped to your knee's in front of me, you sneezed,
    You'd freeze even before flee's. I could see my torrid neccessity with ease,
    I helped you bleed and free'd your veins off your disease and drained you,
    Tamed you, shamed you, de-brained, re-brained you, named you my Frankenstein,
    Remained true to the facts of time and let evolution take you off this back of mine,
    Stacked you at the back of my mind, forgot you... Only to return in months, one or two,
    Shocked through to the bone by what had become of you, stunning, new, cunning,
    My blood through and through with a look so vacant, no hatred, you never shook
    Just faded, taught yourself to talk through my books in our basement, 'You're amazing!'
    Asking if it was I who created, paid respect to me, so sacred, so excellently,
    Your face was jaded, yet elated, as you embraced me with your cold hands,
    No man has ever placed himself in my own, standing alone we carressed,
    Like father and son we impressed, you left my side and ran to the table, calling me over,
    I looked and saw blood pouring over my shoulder, as your look took a turn for the colder,
    Throwing me, you showed me your strength and kept yourself at the depth of your madness,
    Knowing it was me who left you in the sadness, your blankness became man-esque, empty,
    And you delivered your final blow, dying, I panic'd as I just lay and watch you go, set free.
    God help you all............"


    Perce' P.T. Siege (The Monster.)
    "Blade's sharpness parts a path from my ribs to where my heart is
    Cutting cartilige, causing carnage within my own personal catharsis
    I've seen depression, shit, I've lived it... I try not to be it's victim
    Not to let those potent poisons set and inflict on my system
    Because negative thoughts lead to negative vibes
    And that's why negative people all live negative lives
    But my best effort's rendered helpless, as I'm sucked into despair
    My tender psyche is defenseless as it looms in sorrow's lair

    You see im not a demonic demon, though it may seem it
    The doctor created me, as a slave and a monster, but i dont dream it

    I'm bombarded by the hardened shards of a shattered wish and dream
    I start to pick myself apart, my inner fabric's stitch and seams
    I can't control the inner loathing, the self disgust I barely muster
    I can't quell this hell inside myself... This tragic spell I'm under
    It's as if all that existed of my life's been mauled and twisted
    The axis shifted to this insipid world of shit that I now live in
    All my failures, all my struggles, all shortcomings, all my troubles
    All are bubbling in my skull, leaving me completely befuddled
    As to my outside surroundings, to the world as I once saw it
    All the light has left the bright parts, I'm surrendering... I forfeit...
    Undistilled
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    I KILL"


    Issue - Verse 1
    Siege - Verse 2

    ------------------
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=3795458
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=263092



    Bump! (Percept, no self-nom's )

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Age
    24
    Posts
    841
    Battle Record
    9-2
    up this shit

  3. #3
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    In Your Head
    Posts
    26,914
    Battle Record
    242-30
    Awards LLL HOF PS Champion/IE Champion Legendary OM Legendary Member SS Season Champion SS HW Champion OM HOF FL Champion 200+ Wins Haiku Season Champion
    Issue-
    Tamed you, shamed you, de-brained, re-brained you, named you my Frankenstein,
    Remained true to the facts of time and let evolution take you off this back of mine,
    Stacked you at the back of my mind, forgot you... Only to return in months, one or two,
    Shocked through to the bone by what had become of you, stunning, new, cunning,
    My blood through and through with a look so vacant, no hatred, you never shook
    Just faded, taught yourself to talk through my books in our basement, 'You're amazing!'
    ^Wow that was dope...I loved all the imagry and...don't know how to explain it, The PRESSURE...put into these verses. Flow rolled right off your tounge and left you something to ponder/imagine inside your brain. I loved it...It came together so well.

    Percept-
    Your whole last para was dope.. I liked how you ended it off, with so much emotion and thought put into it...It was easy to read. It didn't contain Imagry as much as emotion but it still brough something there. It finished what Issue started. Deffinatly dope...

    You guys did awsome. If givin' the chance I would really like the opportunity to collab with you guys or other members of the people. I'm willing to take time off my schedual to write at any time at all. Good read.

    ~Nash

  4. #4
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Looprevil.
    Age
    38
    Posts
    3,541
    Battle Record
    1-0
    ^ I'm not part of the people .


    Thanks, man, Bump!

  5. #5
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Looprevil.
    Age
    38
    Posts
    3,541
    Battle Record
    1-0
    Next person to sleep on me loses the game, .

  6. #6
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Looprevil.
    Age
    38
    Posts
    3,541
    Battle Record
    1-0
    Yes, all of you lose.

    .

  7. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Age
    24
    Posts
    841
    Battle Record
    9-2
    fuckulars..... up

  8. #8
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Looprevil.
    Age
    38
    Posts
    3,541
    Battle Record
    1-0
    Fuck you, sleep.

  9. #9
    spitz_shine
    Guest
    yo this shit was crazy man...good imagery..
    and the flow was perfect all th way threw...
    this was a very good drop son..enjoyed this shit....

  10. #10
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Age
    24
    Posts
    841
    Battle Record
    9-2
    thanks??? anyway up

  11. #11
    old york
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    New York
    Age
    33
    Posts
    1,385
    Battle Record
    20-9
    Hmmm.Nice piece.Not really worth of HOF,but it was cool.The flow was good and nice.It was nice and smooth.The multies you use never get boring to me.Those are always good to make the flow better and the rhymescheme and storyline better as well.The way you executed the story is somethingmi expected though.About two different perspectives with the creator and the monster it self.But it was a nice piece anyway.Only thing you could work on is not to over stretch your lines.


    Please leave feedback on : Different Direction.
    hurterrybody.

  12. #12
    God Fist Spoken Deity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    10,266
    Battle Record
    26-9
    Awards PS Champion/IE Champion PC HOF PS HOF PS Season champ OM HOF Legendary PC
    Good verses on everyones part. The imagery was good. I would have like a bit more multi play but still, it was good. Flow as fine as well as structure. Yall came very good with telling a story and of course the story itself is something to look at. I mean, thats a very weird topic to write yet you did it beautifully. Good job to yall.

  13. #13
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Looprevil.
    Age
    38
    Posts
    3,541
    Battle Record
    1-0
    if it flows, the lines do not fucking stretch, fucking read the words, dont just see them.


    Upp

  14. #14
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Rancho Cucamonga
    Posts
    16,801
    Battle Record
    104-7
    Awards 1-2 Season Champion 1-2 Punch HW Champion 100+ Wins
    another nice drop by you good job never seen any of the other guys verses before but very good both of you with the imagrey and story telling ability meshed it well at the end good read from both of you

    peep mine por favor
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=264509

Similar Threads

  1. Frankenstein - Rappin' Ass Nigga
    By MusicaVaulte in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: December 13th, 2011, 11:31 AM
  2. Jonathons girl looks like a Frankenstein
    By Freeney in forum Member Pictures
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: July 22nd, 2007, 02:59 AM
  3. ..Victor Frankenstein..
    By Ji§jon in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: August 5th, 2006, 11:23 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •