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Thread: The Tender Trap feat. Macabre

  1. #1
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    The Tender Trap feat. Macabre

    The Tender Trap
    1st verse - Macabre
    2nd verse - Nostradomus


    Two children stood, silhouetted against a backdrop of gold
    The man turned to leave, but the girl lunged forward and took hold
    A young doll, sixteen maybe, with a mask of freckles,
    a round complexion with olive features that tarnished upbringing speckled
    They met where naive dreams often meet, at the feet of a river
    On the road by trade, all he had, dust-tracks to give her.
    But her heart only knew menial labour and then his caress,
    And the part where he left seemed to be imminent less and less.
    She was everything to him, yea he loved her, he really did.
    Dreams of moving to New York, working in a garage with three kids.
    Soon money ran short, food dissapeared and the jig was up
    Her parents wanted answers, but her well was dry and she was stuck
    He promised they'd escape together, but the time was swirling now
    Sure, he was genuine in his intent, but didnt have any means how.
    His friends had headed west, and his college funds were running short
    He swore, she persisted, so she gave up and still he swore.
    He had to run west, meeting with his friends was best,
    Then they'd shack up together near the grape farms and invest.
    So he packed his junk, stuffed all his clothes in a haggard trunk
    Stuck his thumb up to the heavens, and hopped in a car up front
    A straw hatted desperado, heading halfway to colorado
    He saw light in the distance, but the future was really black though.
    He'd wire his uncle for some dough, then send for her in a new ride
    And so he fled into the moisture, leaving his tender bride
    She waited for him. They both knew he would never come back.
    But she waited and waited, and that was basically that.
    Just a young girl, naive but shattered by a moral flat
    A victim of the beat lifestyle, a mouse in her own tender trap.


    From birth, to the last gloomy days stuck on this earth,
    It had sentimental value for what it was worth
    & what it was worth; past a stainless penny for thought,
    We walked the dirt paths where many would stop
    The serengeti is hot, life hits you: ready or not,
    Either sway in the wind, or get steady as rocks
    But I never ponder, or ever weep for tomorrow,
    Because regret gets only as deep as your sorrow
    Being dead broke, I value the slave work advantage,
    Cherish first advances, through certain circumstances
    Citizens become often centless, so we become often senseless,
    Echoing of wailing sirens, got the enthralled hopping fences
    Those where the days...no longer older & grey,
    If I could freeze frame; that moment would stay...
    Word of honour, my speech is in stealth,
    I'm letting these actions come bleak, as they speak for itself
    Keep it to yourself, someday I'll inherit the earth,
    Find value through the meritless spirits and what's worth
    Cherishing birth, I carriage the lone hearse,
    The best man in this marriage, is deaf of wrong words
    In the eye of the storm, I'm slightly glaring back,
    Walking the dirt bare-foot, glass roads & barren paths
    My arrow snap: parts broken and shattered on a Pharoahs back,
    Contact: pains the veins, and makes the bone marrow crack
    Poison tip then seeps through the nerves,
    Getting symptoms and features of pain, I fall to the dirt
    Defeated he's - slain...the cause & effect,
    The cause of the death, has become a law of respect
    Such shadows move too quick for the heated sun,
    Snatch the words off the tip of a tongue, words becoe undone
    Scratch the surface of what they teach, to the true meaning,
    Ever speculate on who's speaking, or where the clues leading
    Off with your head, when will the gauntlet land,
    We bomb the land, with daunting and haunting scams
    From manual labour to the contraband,
    When will we stop spreading the propagand?
    Conscious man, fly like a bird in the sky,
    Word to the wise...life is an early demise...

  2. #2

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! evil king's Avatar
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    well done creative good structure also had a decent imagary like the topic of this was different from others .................damn chris you get better and better every month
    If actions speak louder than words I have nothing to prove.

  4. #4
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    i like this peice
    imaginery was ok nothin special
    i like the concept its new and fresh
    structure was nice
    woulda like to see more meta's but this was still a nice peice
    Grade: B-

  5. #5
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    Lmao @ syco giving me a grade. Thanks johnny and syco. lol.

  6. #6
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    ^its just a thing i do
    it helps doesnt it

    o0o and can u leave feed on my newest peice
    "Skin Deep"

  7. #7
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    Later.

  8. #8
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    final bump for the night...

  9. #9
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    upping this for some real feed.

  10. #10
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    up X new years= factors bey0nd my control

  11. #11
    This was a nice peice

    i personally liked Nostradomus's verse better, but both were good

    good imagery and content was coo

    Nostra came harder wit the metas but..gd wrk to both

    PEACE

  12. #12
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    upping this. are oms only about metas these days? No..wait, these guys are all just wack. REAL FEED PLEASE??

  13. #13
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    upping this.

  14. #14
    Mister. Andrew..'s Avatar
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    Creative. Nice job. Both had a great flow. Nostra opened it with great imagery. Vocabulary was nice from both of you. Emotion here and there. Both came dope. I liked the story. Keep at it.
    Back.

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