User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: The Window

  1. #1
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    New Jerusalem
    Posts
    9,745
    Battle Record
    8-6

    The Window

    The Window
    Prince Escobar
    I stare amazed at the glazed snow frosting my yard
    lost in the shards of nostalgia, glass pained remembrance
    Tempted by the brisk air and my daughters whisps of hair
    as her honey eyes flared with joy under the falling flakes
    running with all her might every few steps stalling for breaks
    my sister supervising, calling her name, causing the game
    in the motion picture pausing in frames to catch my attention with a grin
    and im tempted from within, to join in the fun
    as i stand at the window with my boy as the sun
    catches an angle on his face, making him look like an angel full of grace
    my place is lit with a roasting fire and i bask in the scent of wintertime
    the crispness of the aromas, gifts contrast the listless stiffness of the fall
    i witness this all with pride staring out on my front lawn
    from stoop to gate, the fences' every intricate loop is great
    though you may see a man lost in the dramatics of the season
    what i feel is my very reason for breathing, leaving life in the hood
    providing a good place for my family to take root in
    to grow from and offer a place for some less fortunate to move in
    this is my first winter in a home, with a lawn to call my own
    my first window that shows fence in front of grass, not merely a brownstone
    and so you may not understand where i stand, caught up in having a lawn
    a front door with an alarm, free of rent with quaintness and charm
    but to me there is no satisfaction matching that in my heart
    then to stare amazed at the glazed snow frosting my yard
    1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  2. #2
    you never ready Fiasco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    892
    Im actually very suprised with this piece..the tone is phenomenal and the clarity of the imagery is great. Man i really liked this piece the way you told the story and the pace was very relaxed and overall it was just a very enjoyable piece, im really surprised no one has dropped a comment yet, especially since this is the hottest piece of seen in a while...great job Fresh.
    -Fiasco
    Po'Ethics.

  3. #3
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    New Jerusalem
    Posts
    9,745
    Battle Record
    8-6
    Thanks for showing me some love, i appreciate the break down, elevation is key, 1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  4. #4
    Well isnt this nice, someone can write!

    Nah but kool job man, the title was dope, and your peice wasnt predictable, which was definitly positive in my book. I enjoyed these lines the most:

    lost in the shards of nostalgia, glass pained remembrance
    Tempted by the brisk air and my daughters whisps of hair
    as her honey eyes flared with joy under the falling flakes
    running with all her might every few steps stalling for breaks
    my sister supervising, calling her name, causing the game
    in the motion picture pausing in frames to catch my attention with a grin
    and im tempted from within, to join in the fun
    as i stand at the window with my boy as the sun

    those were the lines that amazed me the most, it had so much detail and imagery man, i couldnt even explain. this deserves some HoF action. thanks for the read.
    ImaginE NatioN


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    somewhere near hell
    Age
    39
    Posts
    79
    Battle Record
    0-8
    some of the lines are really class great poetry
    like how deep you went in so the picture came so clear
    respect

  6. #6
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    New Jerusalem
    Posts
    9,745
    Battle Record
    8-6
    Thank you all for your replies, i appreciate it, elevation of course is key, 1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  7. #7
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    New Jerusalem
    Posts
    9,745
    Battle Record
    8-6
    Perhaps one last up, on the last day of the year...elevation is key, 1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! A.O.D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Age
    39
    Posts
    834
    Battle Record
    2-3
    You told a story and it was very much worth reading... I just wish other ppl might read my stuff too... sniff sniff sniff... j/k But anywho... it was nice... I'll say this one more time.. If I can picture what your saying its worth reading.. I had a picture in my mind.. maybe you should look into publishing... holla at me if intrested..
    I'm not back...I'm simply bored out of my mind.
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Similar Threads

  1. Beyond the Window
    By ....Gone. in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: August 25th, 2008, 12:07 PM
  2. Through The Window
    By Ka'leef in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: October 19th, 2004, 07:38 PM
  3. Window
    By Epical in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: April 18th, 2004, 11:16 PM
  4. The Window
    By Vis in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: January 18th, 2004, 10:47 PM
  5. Outside your window
    By vizualiza in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: June 10th, 2002, 10:47 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •