My Only Hunger...

[Bounce]

My Only Hunger

My existence is putrid vile thoughts in spots were grey matter rots
Plots to unearth my crimes prove fruitless, like the proof less claims by cops
Dropped, another teen brutally caught in this wicked game of cat and mouse
Tattered blouse, the only remnants of the bitch I drug drugged out her house
Doused in a biological concoction, she lies bruised from head to shin
Sin? I think not, hell's a 'fair ground' for the dark lord and demonic kin

Blood thirsty is an understatement, I hunger for the taste of sweet death
Greet Beth with a surgeons grin, as the cold steel embeds deep within
Breath begins to cease as I enter the soon to be deceased deep with ten
Sick men have never stroked with genius the way I slipped this bitch penis
Like the image of Venus, I'll leave her a bloody limbless mess
Confess? Fuck you; crime is my prescription for a deep seeded stress

The dearly departed, and I do mean in many parts, speak gently to me
You see, they beg me for death & love me for preparing their place of rest

Detest me if you must...
...But I'm the voice that calls to you from the dark corners of lust
Trust that we are one in the same...
...I exist in the shadows of even the most noblemen’s brain

...The dark marauder, he who creeps at night, the 'spine tingler'...

Hell, I'm the sum of all nightmares & horror stories gone gory...
...and to ignore me is useless.
Ruthless are my actions and as a matter of fact, in fractions...
...I'll divide your mass while I tear inside your ass

Call it a hunger; call it an illness, but in this day and age...
I prefer to call it some realness...

My only hunger is my only crime and I stay fed! So it’s only time…
Before another turns up dead….

[Percept]

aight the structure was different... different topic, cool stuff, the first stanza was dope, the word usage was really good

Blood thirsty is an understatement, I hunger for the taste of sweet death
Greet Beth with a surgeons grin, as the cold steel embeds deep within
Breath begins to cease as I enter the soon to be deceased deep with ten
Sick men have never stroked with genius the way I slipped this bitch penis
Like the image of Venus, I'll leave her a bloody limbless mess
Confess? Fuck you; crime is my prescription for a deep seeded stress

the rhyme scheme was a little hard to grasp in that, but i got it, but it sorta messed up the flow, good job nevertheless... but it made me read it faster and then it slowed down at the next stanza....

Call it a hunger; call it an illness, but in this day and age...
I prefer to call it some realness...
^^dope scheme and different structure and very true, good job with that line

so good job bounce, hit up my piece entitled "The Prophet: Man vs. Machine"

thanx

[Imagine.Nation]

My existence is putrid vile thoughts in spots were grey matter rots
Plots to unearth my crimes prove fruitless, like the proof less claims by cops
Dropped, another teen brutally caught in this wicked game of cat and mouse
Tattered blouse, the only remnants of the bitch I drug drugged out her house

Damn Bounce, very creative. Those lines above that I quoted were the most complex and dopest lines in the peice. I really enjoyed this one, and your 'To End All Hurt' peice. Both were extremly well thought out. Your writing amazes me, and I admire your work man, nice job..

20/10.

[Bounce]

Thanks for the feed guys

If you ever want me to link you to the peices I have archived in legendz or tounaments let me know. I have a bunch of older works you can puruse through.

[Po']

Alright Bounce dawg, its like this man ..

.. Ive read one other peice besides this one, and honestly, I think this might have been slightly better than the other peice I read from you. I read this because I was satisfied with your other works, and I felt like getting a good read in before basketball practice. So, the concept on this was nice, I liked your title, topic, what ever you like to call it, it was interesting. The flow was on point the whole way through, honestly, no choppyness at all, you had multies going throughout the whole entire peice, and there might have been a couple forced but other than that, it was sweet. Imagiry here was also sweetness, I had this pretty much pictured in my head, espeically the vocabulary, thats what made this alot better than it already is, you used big words that matured adults would use, well, thats the way I look at it. Good job though man.

Overall, I enjoyed this read alot, the structure was perfect throughout, and you pretty much just put together a well rounded peice of work, looks like you spent some time on it. Im not sure if this is OM HoF worthy, Im still debating weather or not it is, but chances are my choice will be, a nomination. Good job man, keep it up!

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=257847

Please rtf sir.

[Bounce]

up?

[.:Great Ace:.]

My existence is putrid vile thoughts in spots were grey matter rots
Plots to unearth my crimes prove fruitless, like the proof less claims by cops
Dropped, another teen brutally caught in this wicked game of cat and mouse
Tattered blouse, the only remnants of the bitch I drug drugged out her house
Doused in a biological concoction, she lies bruised from head to shin
Sin? I think not, hell's a 'fair ground' for the dark lord and demonic kin

great opener, like the closure of the verse, had alot of emotion, nice vocab, flowed perfectly one line to the other... the multis and metas used in this piece, very high maintness work, you wrote this in a way that the reader gets drawn in to your pieces depth, very creative keep it up
10/10

drop some feed in this OM-Death by Electricution

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...04#post3635304

[A Pimp Named Saucy]

Vocabulary was nicely put in..also concept was alrite..you had some multies....Good mutis....and your flow was on point...structure was nice also...I could image what you was saying in some points......I enjoyed this piece alot...great opener,and closure,also you had emotion threwout the verse.... I dont have no bullshit to state......If this was nice i would like to read your stuff out on legends......keep it up nice OM

[Bounce]

Thanks to all, and yeah check OM HoF and legendz, even legendz archived tournaments will have many peices of mine.

[Nostradomus.]

Great job Bounce, I've been wondering how old you really are, because you know so much about the world, and you are very deep with your OM's. I admire your work also, and I've been looking in the HoF at your peices, and I understand the way you write, which is cool. Keep it up, pz.

Please feed the link in my sig..

[<Supreme>]

wow....loved this peace man
flow - 9/10
rhymin - 7/10 - bit simple for my likin but gd
structure - 8/10
like it? - 9/10
overall - 8.75/10

brilliant piece Bounce
keep it up
sorry my feed is a bit thin compared to some ppls' but i think its more to the point
keep writin/spittin/rappin etc.

can u check out 'The Finest' and 'The Finest pt 2' please...i think they're good

[<Supreme>]

btw..........
i respect you Bounce, this piece has made me do tht

[Born To Kill]

Man...

Why's this been here for two days...

And you ain't let me know ya dropped some shit YOU KNOW I'd like?

I'm feeling all net-betrayed and shit...

Anyway...

Great piece...alotta these cats are trying to judge and critique, but I don't feel the need to.
This hits, at least THIS cat, on a whole other level...

I don't even notice the rhyme scheme so much, or the vocab...

When this topic (my topic) is done this well...

I just thoroughly enjoy the journey into a sick puppy's mind.

Nice shit.

Real nice.

Except now I'm all wanting to rape and kill a bitch. Someone close by.
Someone secretarial.

Nice work, man.

[Bounce]

Great job Bounce, I've been wondering how old you really are, because you know so much about the world, and you are very deep with your OM's. I admire your work also, and I've been looking in the HoF at your peices, and I understand the way you write, which is cool. Keep it up, pz.

Please feed the link in my sig..

Yeah, I been around, that's for sure. I'm one of the older heads on the site, not quite as old as BTK, but I'm not in my early 20's anymore either. Thanks for the kind words, and if you really want to see some sicker drops of mine, you have to look in legendz, the archived tounaments like WOP2 and even the old Sacrid scriptures a few seasons ago. I can link you if you ask here.

[Bounce]

btw..........
i respect you Bounce, this piece has made me do tht

I appreciate it, but this is far from one of my more covetted peices on here. This waqs just a quicky... Thanks for dropping in...