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Thread: A Lost Cause

  1. #1
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    A Lost Cause

    Hold applause, this life has no clause,
    we bold with jawz, but knives close it all,
    straight cold and raw, the kid tossed all lawz,
    society turned the back cause he's just a lost cause,

    since concieved it's believed fate lines the path we lead,
    but why would God destin someone to hell when they just a seed,
    push to read cause he wish you wouldn't so just recieve,
    information about these pearly gates that's misconcieved,
    babies born without father figures they figure the trigger,
    is a way to get to Jigga figures so come and get bigga,
    put through rigurous bouts never surrender or render for clout,
    they get dismembered and shout but bein' remembered is what it's about,
    bodies clash bullets blast ashes to ashes dust to dust,
    bodies in masses fields of caskets prisoners stare out the prison bus,
    society see's us but not the travesties endured,
    tears poured screamin to the lord give me pitty by the sword,
    the resources needed to change in the ways we've pleaded,
    are right where they're seated but at night they stared and agreed it,
    these streets is a lost cause police retreat from cop calls,
    it's up to us to rise and stop all these blood sprays hittin block walls.

    This is just the first verse I'mma drop the next one lata...

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...47#post3254347
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=237663

  2. #2
    Paper Cut Bandit Mic D's Avatar
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    at times some parts seemed .....misworded ."bodies clash bullets blast ashes to ashes dust to dust,"...I get the whole concept ....but its not done great.....its aight I guess just not good....seems rather bland for the concept with no real imagery

  3. #3
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    fa sho...thanx for the feedback man it's appreciated...
    Uppin...

  4. #4
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    nice spit, il gi u dat. nice structure and good message. keep spittin or die tryin
    oh and check my stuff out from my links.peace

  5. #5
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    Its the lost cause on the corner seellin rocks and all
    little kids striving hard to make it in basketball,
    but i guess we fall and we rise again
    i just try so hard with this rhyme and pen,
    racism is still apart of the matter
    black leaders makin it and pockets gettin fatter,
    whites hate blacks and blacks hate whites
    lets just forget the drama and re-unite,
    police aint about shit, they say serve and protect
    but they doing anything to get that fat ass check,
    some care some dont
    some appreicate some wont,
    in these rhymes we give with every line
    i stay on mine until its time,
    hard work and hustle
    no matter the struggle we still fight to bust through,
    niggas think they hard but they soft as tissue
    want to be gangstas but they scared of pistols,
    so please pause and applaued this cause
    cuz what we giving you is americas flaws,
    punch and pull and scratch with claws
    i aint no beast in the sea but im close to "jaws"



    Its a little something playboy, need some work to it but im new to this..
    Last edited by I_Me; October 13th, 2005 at 12:08 AM

  6. #6
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    police and about shit,

    [B]tthats suuppose to be

    Police aint about shit,

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