Def Poets Presents: Meditation (ft. Djb)

[Johnny 6-feet]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224928

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224864




Meditation


Djb
Meditation wasting time as I recline and relax my mind
find eternal sunshine as I dive into serenity’s divine
wonder about wonders, as my body wanders away from all
escapin’ the situations Im placed in, a numbed state calls
I fall, far from thought drift adrift from my consciousness
I nalied it like brad did Jolie making Aniston’s life the pits
suffice to sacrifice this black thought of blank emptiness
so I regress in my defense to suppress this unique recess
I am ultimately afraid of enlightenment, it’s a new adventure
tenure of temperate sublimity melted my mental temple structure
so im under a spiritual high afraid to take the ride to the top
thinking is sinking me into the abyss of emotion, I need to stop!


Johnny 6-feet

Indeed we rock forbidden chemicals and toxic states
But not in hate, this trance state will unlock the gates
Mental plains floating and somewhat languid
Concocting my next SS verse, made to damage
Cherry blossoms fall near this poganda i relax by
A stream flows in the distance, yes, I'M THAT HIGH
Knowledge cascades mentally with such force, it takes over
A less trained individual would remain in a coma
My optics nerves burn with unnatural, holy energy
Purging me of my sins and burns holes in enemies
Another chapter is written for Dojo of the flow
Where Def Poets meditate, elavate with the soul


And another one...

[djb]

upp

[Jawn Raw]

hmm somewhat i know you can both do better, this is just like a lil dinkie thing yall both probably just quickly key'd up but the stucture and flow is very good, vocab could be upped some more, multiples could be used more, emotion and imagery was fine to me, just work on creativty wit multiples and vocab then it would be better.

anyway nice track.

could both of yall rtf on my new OM Frustrated Intensions links in the sig

1

[djb]

thank you. will check tonight

[djb]

up again

[djb]

bullfuck......can we please get some feed?

[djb]

there is no way this is happening

[djb]

4 damn days and 1 reply?

[Spoken Deity]

weak on both yalls ends...
DJB- i didnt like the way you took your verse. The topics is pretty deep and i thought you went to shallow. the brad and angi thing to me was dumb. no hate, it wasnt your best verse..
JOHN- you came a bit more serious but i felt like you took NO time at all. Seems to simple for you. although i like your spin on it, it seemd to simple... still, nothing is bad, just not up to either of your pars

[Issue]

I agree, I thought this was weak on both parts, with djb coming stronger.

Both verses seemed without direction to me, as I'v seen you both, especially Johnny, come a hell of a lot stronger than this, I was very diappointed. I think the length of the piece haltered it too, Just 12 lines each means you havent got much to go from or lead to, it just closes in the piece and its hard to get stuff across. I liked dustin's opener the most of this whole piece, it wasnt the best I've ever seen, but the first 4 lines came across a lot better than the rest in entireity. I must admit, although it mentioned the poets, I didnt like Johnny's closer. You didnt need to put that in there man, I could see where you were trying tolead too but it just wasn't right imo,

I think maybe this was just an off one for you guys, God knows I have these, so Im looking forawrd to seeing you's blow me away next time...

Uppp

[Johnny 6-feet]

Haha, well everyone's gotta fuck up occasionally. Thanks for being honest guys.