On The Run

[MKs]

First time convicted, my mind is slipping farther,
Worst crime commited, voluntary manslaughter,
Didnt think, when I killed both the man and his daughter,
My clean slates now dirty this is not a good barter,
Running from everyone, this whole world is my enemy,
In my own household, my family is truly fearing me,
Can't think, cause im constantly on the move,
Steady Im dancing with devil, to this isane groove,
State to state, the feds, im ducking and dogding,
Gotta change my name at all the hotels I lodge in,
Why would I do this, and simply curse my life,
Im always hiding, building a bridge of strife
The tention is intense, the rush is breaknecking,
Looking everywhere, im always doublechecking,
I killed them, but its my own life Im wrecking
One day they'll catch me, and it'll all be over,
Im done with this hell, and being satans soldier,
I'll be old, and tired of all this bullshit,
Same question in my mind,
.... "Why the hell could I do this"
But until they do, i'll just keep having this twisted fun,
even though life aint no playground, when your on the run.


this may not be good as m others but leave feed please, it helps me.


Links-

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...44#post2926544
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...44#post2926544

[BIOHASARD]

nice wordplay sturture flow go tryout fo ill tactics

[MKs]

^ lol

[BIOHASARD]

^lol boi dont back talk me ill merk ya azZ

[MKs]

^ shush with freepost

[MKs]

uppin 4 feed

[MKs]

upin

[MKs]

feed

[CAMROK]

Yup.. u ask for feed, and feed has come.

It was an interesting piece, nonetheless, probably not one of yuor better ones but I haven't really read many of them. The flow caught me somewhere in te middle, and it went pretty smooth. Maybe you could've fit more discriptive words throughout if you lengthed the lines a bit, and add more complexity.. but I'm sure u did what u did on purpose. Flow was fine though.

The ending could've been done a little differently, I dunno but atleast for me I kinda fell off at the end. Then didn't quite get it, had to go back to see what the very last line was referring back to. But it was alright.

Not bad overall, I did enjoy the read.

Hit up my piece with Glory if u get the chance,
"The Father I Never Had"

[MKs]

^ word thank you

[MKs]

uppin

[Glory]

htis piece was good. short and simple, really liked the flow. only problem i had was with the way it ended. it was kind of blah you kno. the verse was tight every other part, the story was of interest, great way to start, not neccesarly unique or anything, but it sure was a nice way to express such a dilemma. nice job on this one man.

plz return feedbak on this piece.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=220503

thanks man.

peace

[sILLable]

forgive me for the short reply..but i only have one complaint...elevate your complexity..thats it...~1~

[SunSpit]

Yo good drop. I liked da flow and structure. I agree dat da endin could've been betta tho. But nice drop all in all. Keep droppin and elevatin.

[MKs]

^ to all about the ending.. im sorry i didnt copy the last line... its on now