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Thread: Out 4 Self, Down 4 Life

  1. #1
    Apostle OS
    Guest

    Out 4 Self, Down 4 Life

    "O4S ~ D4L"
    (Out for Self) (Down for Life)

    How intense can I express what I expect is next to not much,
    so much stress to stretch my senses to not budge,
    the trenches are deep, its an offensive to sleep peacefuly,
    and a peice of me jus wants to cease to be.
    Maybe in the big sleep my dreams will speak to me,
    at last my fears at ease, if only all feasibly.
    You bastards are breathin me till you gaspe to keep beeps on beat,
    shattered hearts to treat, Ive been breathin too hard to weep.
    Hope brings a soldier to his knees in this world of needs,
    I'd rather bleed than cry and live to die in peace of mind.
    The best that I can do is try,
    I've sold my fair share of hustlers if you think I'm gonna buy this.
    Fuck the way that God had first designed it,
    he never read the fine print and shit I never signed it.
    The world can get cold if you focused on ice,
    you ain't gotta take my word but please take my advice.
    Out 4 Self ~ Down 4 Life.
    Last edited by Apostle OS; September 2nd, 2005 at 01:12 AM Reason: change of lyrics

  2. #2
    ToK SiK
    Guest
    this was a tight piece i give ur flow a 8/10 ur structure a 7.5/10
    ur wordplay a 8/10
    some goodshit man keep postin.............

  3. #3
    Apostle OS
    Guest
    . . . . . . . . . /'`"uppin"`'\ . . . . . . . . .

  4. #4
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Age
    39
    Posts
    5,316
    Battle Record
    15-10
    pretty ill...your wordplay was tight...i liked you multis and your rhyme scheme...your structure was simple and easy to read...your whole piece was pretty ill...a little short but thats aiight.....you should drop two links to two replies in here an before it gets closed.....keep elevatin and droppin.~1`


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  5. #5
    +
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    London
    Age
    38
    Posts
    6,410
    Battle Record
    2-1
    That first link was in Poetic Scriptures.. links need to come from Open Mic only.. thanks. Edit that, or this gets closed.
    ...

  6. #6

  7. #7
    Apostle OS
    Guest
    .....................uppin........................ .

  8. #8
    2nd Chance
    Guest
    u got issues, was that ment to be a rhyme about u dying? i didnt like it, it flowed alright but the topic was boring n people have rapped about that shit before,come wiv something we aint heard before.

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