Two Faced Hero

[Judge Judy]

Two Faced Hero
protago

the bright red gloves pack a mean punch on hated villains
protago silenced antagonists,attracted limbs to ceilings
numbed feelings, super hero once but created a future bad guy
to say protago symbolizes his name is an ironic and sad lie
hero died, darkness attracted leading occurances of doom
murders of innocent babies like new roses undone the bloom
clock struck noon, planned robbery occures...who's involved?
protago decapitated a clerk, throbbing pain of a customer mauled
police called in, crime scene flashed bright lights of camera men
interrogations full of mind meditations tend to make a trusted mend
protago flees the scenery, trembling thoughts of disabled humanity
a trustworthy hero captured by unknown desire full of profanity
now depressed, he enters the lonesome doors of apartment three
slips out of costume to grab a soda, and notices the clip on t.v
news broadcasting arrives, questioning facts about the horror
speeding mini-van streaks the streets, family sadly saw her
concerned mother yells, screaming pain makes causes sickness
pleading for safety she gets on her knees, asks for a witness
insane and blundered he shuts it off, ly's down in the bed
cannot escape the memory he dreads, visions stuck in the head
he falls asleep......nightmare fiends the brain, cannot escape
monsters created by evil, dreadful mind irritations of past rape
woken up with a blistered thought, corrections needed promptly
evil set free from protago, along with attitude and things pompously
cards from victims families sent out, regards from a new hero
tallys from unexpected evil declined, to a number of zero

[Judge Judy]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...05#post2492105
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...17#post2492117

[Obseen]

the bright red gloves pack a mean punch on hated villains
protago silenced antagonists,attracted limbs to ceilings
numbed feelings, super hero once but created a future bad guy
to say protago symbolizes his name is an ironic and sad lie

like that it flows nicely an the vocab is nice.

hero died, darkness attracted leading occurances of doom
murders of innocent babies like new roses undone the bloom

liekd that.

slips out of costume to grab a soda, and notices the clip on t.v
news broadcasting arrives, questioning facts about the horror
speeding mini-van streaks the streets, family sadly saw her
concerned mother yells, screaming pain makes causes sickness
pleading for safety she gets on her knees, asks for a witness

that was fire flw was hella nice.

he falls asleep......nightmare fiends the brain, cannot escape
monsters created by evil, dreadful mind irritations of past rape
woken up with a blistered thought, corrections needed promptly
evil set free from protago, along with attitude and things pompously
cards from victims families sent out, regards from a new hero
tallys from unexpected evil declined, to a number of zero

vocab was way sik on this aswell.

you got some crazy ass vocab an it helps wiht your flow overall nice topic told the stroy nice stay up bruv look out 4 my piece tomoz "back n the day"

[Q.S]

I like the structure, good topic.... Two Faced Hero!
The vocabulary is very advanced... lol (I had to look some shit up in the dictionary)*shh* lol, It's not too long and not too short, I find that it's the perfect reading length for my interest.

he falls asleep......nightmare fiends the brain, cannot escape
monsters created by evil, dreadful mind irritations of past rape
woken up with a blistered thought, corrections needed promptly
evil set free from protago, along with attitude and things pompously
cards from victims families sent out, regards from a new hero
tallys from unexpected evil declined, to a number of zero

The last few lines are extremely interesting, and this is one of the few open mics that I actually didnt hesitate to read until the end.

Don't know what advise to give you, except keep on writing!


thanx for the feed on my OM.

[The Journalist]

Good Shit Fam, Flow Was Here Decent Structure, Vocabulary Was Neat Man Nice Shit, Topic On This Was Good Overall Just Some Good Shit HOF Type Of Shit

[Judge Judy]

Uppin.

[Judge Judy]

Up.

[Judge Judy]

C'Mon you fools!

[Laced Up]

shit was nice i liked ya flow and ya titled matched ya piece it was advanced i had to read some parts twice to understand your view but your piece gave readers a chance to interpret your flow from their own mindset. Nice shit nun da less

[Violent.]

Nice Peice.

Good vocabulary use. Some very advanced words
Structure was nice and basic, made it easy to read.
The length was too short IMO, i like peices to be a little longer.

Emotion in this was dope though, and imagery was nice.

Opening line grabbed my attention straight away. A dope peice overal.


insane and blundered he shuts it off, ly's down in the bed
cannot escape the memory he dreads, visions stuck in the head
^^ dopest lines

[Judge Judy]

Thanks Uppin. !